Hi...slight mistake 'drug dealers all take more then they are willing to give' should be 'than'...but that's nothing. It will be interesting to see how many reviews you get for this, I wrote something very similar, and althougth it got good reviews it wasn't seen as much as it could have been. It was very strange reading this because there are so many similarities in the way we write, and the subjects. I think issues like this, and others, are made for poetry. In my own small mind, I would like to have as much influence on following generations as the war poets do today...not much to aim at! Saying that, most of my portfolio now only carries lighter stuff. Best wishes and good luck. Ian
Hello, I liked this work (like...sounds terribly lame)...I don't usually use words like 'terribly' but it's what came to mind. I only have 10 pieces of work on this site at any one time, I think if you have too many they can get lost and not seen. I had several pieces just like this, but they weren't viewed as much as I thought they deserved. Maybe there aint anyone here BUT chickens! Anyway, that's just a rant. YOUR piece is very good, I like all that it says. The one thing I didn't like was the way it was set out, but that's a personal choice. I've rearranged some of my poems more times than a rubiks cube! When I get time I'll be pleased to read more of your work.
Best wishes, Ian (also a big fan of Ian Dury)
Hello, I've read a few of your poems and I like what you are trying to do. I have only ten poems on this site, but I have many more of a similar nature and style. Please don't be put off or deterred by what I'm about to say; as you will find if you read any of my poetry, I'm not one for strict poetry rules (correct meter etc...) I like it to be natural and with heart. Reading some of yours, I feel the content is a little forced in order to find the rhyming word. Would you say 'His love, I do treasure, though kind he may be' ? Maybe I'm being picky and...incorrect. I love what you the meaning and reasons for this poem, I just think it could have been a LITTLE more natural.
As I said, please don't take offence. I like what you are trying to do (I am prepared to admit MY style may be wrong...but it's just how I feel)
Anyway, I will read more of your work because I like and admire your heart and the subjects you cover.
hi, its nearly 2 am and i should be in bed...but i thought i'd take a quick look at your work since you had a look at mine. You've had some mean reviewers, most of your work is worth a 4.5 You've clearly been affected by a relationship/relationships (as have I) and it comes out in your work. It helped me a lot to write about my crumbling life...(not quite crumbling but you know what i mean) Anyway...i'll shut up...i liked it. best wishes, Ianhi, its nearly 2 am and i should be in bed...but i thought i'd take a quick look at your work since you had a look at mine. You've had some mean reviewers, most of your work is worth a 4.5 You've clearly been affected by a relationship/relationships (as have I) and it comes out in your work. It helped me a lot to write about my crumbling life...(not quite crumbling but you know what i mean) Anyway...i'll shut up...i liked it. best wishes, Ian
You can't beat the truth. You have a very skillful way of expressing your words. it needs people like you to hold a mirror up to these crimes. So many people so far away are ignorant of such things, even in their own world ,they prefer to bury their heads in the sand, rather than face the truth. I too have come to writing quite recently, I also have a great passion for it, almost an obsession. I am influenced by the life i live and what i see...anyway, thank you for sharing your work, i will be interested to read more. My name is Ian.
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