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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mandik019
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864 Public Reviews Given
1,303 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Poppies Fall  Open in new Window.
Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I normally not much for the "rhyming" types of poetry, but you have artfully made this work.

Even with the rhyming, I can feel your sense of pride, thoughtfullness, sorrow. (normally I can only see the "delightful" swaying of the rhymes)

A wonderful tribute to all the men and women that have fought for our freedom!

Keep writing!
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Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Nice continuation to this...
I can see now how your character's are beginning to take on a life of their own. A little bit more description could be used on the female character's, but otherwise it's very good.

looking forward to reading chapter 3!

Keep writing!
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Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
GREAT BEGINNING!

I like the feel of the piece... very criptic and creepy. Like you are supposed to know more than you do. Almost like a CSI episode.

Hoping that you continued this... it has a lot of potential. Good beginning of characterization and plot.

Keep writing!
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Review of Portsmouth  Open in new Window.
Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
I really enjoyed reading this piece, but was disappointed to see that it did not continue.

There appears to be quite a bit going on here. Your descriptions are crisp and "paintable". As well, the undertones of the storyline give a bit of mystery that screams to be released.

I noticed one editing problem-

"Is he alive," Kædon asked genuinely. (Should have a question mark since it is a question)

Would love to see this piece expanded...
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Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Wilcox you have quite the imagination!

I love this! Of course not the beating, even though I felt as if I was also receiving it, but the way that the "living daylights" became the doppleganger! Quite ingengious!

Now I left to wonder though, what happened to that poor little girl?!

Keep writing!
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Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest". Thanks for entering!

A very sweet memorial to a woman that meant so very much to you. In regards to the contest, I believe that you could possibly have touched on the "nothing" portion a bit more, but that is just my opinion.

Some editing points that need looking at (please wait until final judging is over)

Although, I new that I had to focus on my son,who was premature.
~knew
~fragmented sentence

self, why are you feeling sorrow? Is it because...
~ no closing quote


Good luck in the contest!
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7
Review of Divine Creation  Open in new Window.
Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest". Thanks for entering!

This is a wonderful piece showing how lost and pain can set us on new career as well as life paths. I'm not quite sure how you developed the "feel nothing" aspect of the quote, but the "pain" was apparent.

I see no spelling, punctuation or grammer errors.

Good luck,
Keep writing!
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Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
As intense as the life of any teenager...

It's too bad that teens get so caught up in the uncontrollable drama of life, they lose out on the fun that they should be having.

Characterization of characters is strong and believeable making the story easy to follow.
Plot is filled with energy, pulls to reader to the dramatic conclusion.

No errors

Keep writing!
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Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Don't you just hate it when teachers think that they know everything!

Believable characters make this story an enjoyable read. Description of them and their thoughts help to define them further. Plot moves along at a good pace, with a wonderful shock at the end.

Keep writing!
10
10
Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Miscommunication at its funniest!

It's a wonder sometimes how any of can manage to communicate when the meaning can get so messed up.

It's like when someone says "their sleeping together." Are they really?!? Or is it actually as innocent as the word sleep implies? Just another thought to ponder...

Keep writing!

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11
Review of Stormy's Spirit  Open in new Window.
Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
With tears in my eyes and a breaking heart, I have to tell you that this is absolutely beautiful.

Have you ever seen an ezine called PetWarmers? This is exactly the type of story that they publish here.

Now I'll give you one of my own
 Juliet Aurora Open in new Window. (E)
My beloved little puppy who will never leave my side.
#937050 by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon


Keep writing!
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12
Review of Point and Click  Open in new Window.
Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very neat!

It's amazing how far technology has come in such an amazingly short time! I'm not that old (42) and I can remeber a time before remotes, microwaves, IPods and laptops!

Oops a typo-

The saying of old and wise is plitically incorrect,

Keep writing!
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Review of Anita Blake World  Open in new Window.
Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
6:46 Done!

It's a good thing that I've read so many of her novels.
I'm on Obsidian Butterfly right now- creepy and gross but loving every minute of it!

Nice collection of words to work with here.

How many of the collection have you read?

Keep reading and writing!
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Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Such a cute dog- I love the tongueand the crinkled up forhead! It really looks as if it is being stuck out in fustration!

Very funny companion explanation of the photograph. Too bad you don't also have a picture of the meatloaf to go with this!

Keep writing!

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Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
A very helpful article for anyone just engaged and contemplating the cost of their dream wedding.

I do have one thought though- add in personal experiences. Suggestions are great, but actual experieinces are so much better! Links to craft sites and decorating sites would also be helpful.

Helpful and creative- Keep up the good work!
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Review of My Love  Open in new Window.
Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
quite an emotional poem here

It looks and sounds to me that this is involving some very deep feelings that this person just doesn't want to admit, but yet can't help obsessing about.

I like the capitalization if the letters to show the intesity of the spirit...

Keep writing!
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Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A great read!
I liked the twist of the environmentalist being the "bad guy".
Again- great read!

A couple of typos that need correction-

They were ten feet into the stream before the jumped over the side and into the water.
~ they

His wife and Willy were still putting preparing food at the counter.
~prepared

I driver route six through Peaksgill.
~drive

Horace tried no to wince, but Roger could tell he had made his point.
~not

“And you’re mama’s dead, so thanks for the advice
~your


Keep writing!
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Review of Mark Of Respect  Open in new Window.
Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
What an incredibly visable thing for you to do! I'm wondering how many people might have stopped you to ask about the reason for the hair coloring? Or was this information known to just a few?

Anyway the poem that accompany's your picture is quite good, explain the reasoning for the hair color and your thoughts and prayers.

Cool idea!
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Review of Nickajack Creek  Open in new Window.
Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Oh, the "wicked" little things that kids decide to do to have fun!

A couple of typos that need to be corrected-

* The startled driver shot us mean look as he swerved uncontrollably.

~ shot us a mean

*...we got back to Lynne’s house and mom’s car was

* Not only was mom not mad

*...and mom quietly hummed along with

*...was curl up in mom’s lap

* I never did tell mom

~ capitalize Mom when you are using it as a name

Keep writing!
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Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
A very interesting twist on the traditional fairytale. But I was a little surprised that you didn't take it a bit further.

A couple of typos that I came across-

*“It wasn't only leprechauns she consorted with but elves, tolls, and ogres too.
~ I believe that this should be trolls

*"Isn't gold more valuable tha silver coins
~ than

Keep writing!
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Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A very sweet look at the life of a "grown woman".

A few small typos-

coral (my favorite color) roses" just because"

~needs spacing between roses and quote

Chris had super glued and Òmake it wellÓ as

~ wrong symbols used here

I enjoy it the boat.

~ this "sentence" is quite odd, consider revamping

edited June 11, 200

~ year?


Good luck and Keep writing!
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Review of The Lost Child  Open in new Window.
Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Such a sad and at the same time, beautiful story. It is the type of story that should be read in the high school sex ed classes. It's not just the girls that have to learn the consiquences to their actions. Becoming a father is a big deal, I'm gald that you were able to build a bond between you both.

Keep writing!
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Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
again a wonderful year filled with the antics of Fred.

I am wondering about the 'possums, though. Weren't you worried about where the mother was? I've heared that they can get pretty mean. I'm also surprised that Fred was so understanding to them.

By the way, I believe that the correct spelling is Rapunzel

Keep writing
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Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I absolutely love reading about this wonderful cat! As most cat lover's know "they allow us to live with them, not the other way around."

I remember my grandmother's cat used to sit on the back of her chair and watch the bird's come and go from her many birdfeeder's. I used to love to watch him watch them.

Keep writing!
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Review by MandiK~ : p Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Absolutely adorable!

The only thing I did notice that you forgot to tell us was where Fred came from.

Did you adopt him? Did he adopt you? How did you come to live this this delightful creature?

More pictures of this sweet thing are definately needed!

Can't wait to read on!
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