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94 Public Reviews Given
94 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Cold Winter  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Joe Nelson Author Icon !

I am currently reviewing your short story entitled:
 Cold Winter Open in new Window. [13+]
A CIA agent in East Berlin must rescue a Russian scientist.
by Joe Nelson Author Icon


First of all, I want to congratulate you for a piece well-done! It is written with a great deal of passion and remarkable artistry. I have been absent in WDC for quite a long time and I am particularly glad to have been greeted by a story such as yours! Having acquainted by the initial background that the story involves a CIA agent saving a Russian scientist which happened during the Cold War (approx. 1945-1991), it instantly roused my interest. At first glance, I actually thought that the title is Cold War. Speaking of your chosen title, I should say that you have the right pick being it used as the crucial password for the rendezvous.

The story talks about a fictional yet seemingly true fragment of history. To top it all, it is not only some kind of a recklessly woven story. It is well-developed and well-conceived. You have to really feel the action and allow the prickly sensation of suspense permeate your every pore; not just the conventional error-seeking review. So please don't ask me to enumerate your flaws that I may help you to improve them, I'm afraid I am not the man for the job. You can ask me all about my insights and everything that I feel about this piece though.

Cold Winter really lives up to its chosen genres. It really a thriller and a suspense. I have to admit that when I reached the part when Dominic is about to meet Brezhnev in the desolate house, I can feel the pit of my stomach bubbling in anticipation and in the next twenty seconds that followed I can't sit still. Really. Just look how powerful words are. They can create multiple worlds unimaginable to some even in the most tedious corner of your room. I say you used that power very well. One of the reasons why this particular piece caught my attention--enough to convince me to write a review-- among the rest is that it feels more informational rather than entertaining. Cold winter is not a mere hodgepodge of nice exciting events. It tells something. It means something. It has a subtle advantage: it educates.

I am amazed at how you come up with such a notable story of spy and deception given its economic length. You started strong and ended strong as well. Who thought that little girl is actually the devious trump card of the Soviet? The Siberian Tiger? It is really a shock. But the idea of conjuring the character of a skilled assassin in a little girl had really cut the loose ends and made everything settle in place. The fabric of your piece is knitted with well-calculated stitches that the events know where to put themselves in the story. I think I would like the character of the girl more than the agent. And I really hoped he got some exceptional and almost unhuman skills *Smile*.

If you have written this with the intention of a story-teller with a two-year vocational course as a historian, I daresay you have accomplished your goal well. No unnecessary internal dialogue and scenic descriptions. Just right to the point with the dart at the center of the board.

It might have been good to have some cool and starred protagonist. Someone clever and brilliant to turn the tables at dire moments. Well, I just admired them. Especially if they can manage a one-second theoretically possible plan that would save their hopeless life.

That's just my opinion, though.

It is a nice experience to have read your story.

May your dreams come true.

Through the looking glass
Lewis
2
2
Review of The Intervention  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings!

A WdC LITERARY AUDIT


*Fire* Congrats! You're receiving a gift from "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. ! The Lightning Package has been ordered for you from: and includes the reviews of three fiction stories! Enjoy! *Fire*

How is the literary piece called?
  The Intervention Open in new Window. [13+]
"In a hostage crisis, an intervention occurs and Will's soul is saved from damnation"
by Summer Wind is Healing Author Icon

The title fitted well the content. Initial expectations told me that somehow Jan here would interfere and save Will. So it was the Chief of Heaven after all. I like the underlying message that God himself would go through all troubles just to save a single man and give him a second chance.

What is the literary piece (story line/concept versification) all about?
I first thought that Jan was the protagonist and was a bit surprised as the series of events unfolded, shifted and gave a twist around Will. The villain turned protagonist. I got fascinated with Median. He seemed cool. The story plowed well. I am, in no way, would intervene on your style and the nature of your characters. I always want to read something different from my past readings. And I am glad to snatch a glimpse of this change. Your story appealed to me like it was told from the eyes of Jan since she did nothing in particular at the plot and she was indeed watching. But your story was told from an omniscient point of view so if I would be allowed to speculate, you narrated the story and made it appear to have been observed by Jan who did nothing in your story. And so the story came from you and then to Jan before it reached the readers something like that. I haven't encountered such. Writers would tend to use characters such as Jan for some important purpose or if not, then it would be first person basis. I am not trying to correct you. I am trying to state the bit of change.

The appearance of God's messenger was well-depicted. The clouds and all. The rest of the restaurant's patrons who left in a trance. I like the idea of having Will be born again and be given with new life, new parents. I wonder if he would retain his memories in his new life. If not, then this would be the Reincarnation in Hinduism. The concept is clear and well-laid out. You have remarkably injected a sweet metanoia in an otherwise bitter villainous tale. The theme of forgiveness is well-emphasized.

Also, a magical air hang around your story and I could really feel the imagination and creativity prickling through my every pore when I read this. You might try a hand in action/adventure themed stories or fairy tales or give new faces out of ancient folklore. I could sense the potential. But of course, all discretion is yours.

What is(are) the inherent intention(s) of the writer?
The piece is indeed spiritually engaging. The theme of forgiveness, the unconditional love on part of the Creator was deeply depicted and stressed by the piece. In here, it is as if you want to tell the readers that "No matter how deep you fall, you can always stand up." Something like that. It had been well-conceived and you successfully laid it out for the general populace. You didn't use particular settings or people which only a few would recognize and appreciate.

Digging deeper, I would reckon that you presented a real good allegory in sending the messenger before Will's damnation. God saved him before it's too late. It is as if you are saying that God will always be there even if everything appears too dire and he would be there even at that last minute before we decided to sever our ties with him. Like He would come even at the barest second before we stepped a foot in the Underworld. Something like he would never give us up even at the nick of time.

Does the literary piece imply a real experience or a figment of imagination?
This is a figment of imagination of course, unless you believed that it was your past life and God only erased your memories so you may be able to live a life as you are doing now.

But it still a figment of imagination with every grain of reality sticking out in its length. The message is true and well-conveyed.

Which part carries the most impact?
"Now bring Will before me" he said. The big man started to tremble, as he knelt down in front of the stranger.
"Get up off your knees," he said. "You do not kneel before me. God has decided to intervene on your behalf. These are highly unusual circumstances. You will be sent back to the time of your birth, and will be given different parents, who will provide you with the love and care you have never received. You have been given a second chance. God has spoken, let it be so. Median, prepare Will for departure."

Of course, this turned the leverage for the striking aspect of any good story.

What thoughts/emotions do the literary piece stimulate?
A lot of thoughts and reflections really. Like Median might be a Grim Reaper. It got me excited and it did not die down until I have predicted how would you attempt to conclude this one. More than creating its impact on the emotions, it appealed more to the intellect and spiritually. I hope other readers would come across this one.

What further recommendations can be made?
Hmmm. You might also try and make Jan narrate the story on her own. I mean, first person basis, if you wish. You have trifle issues, so this might be trifle suggestions. I am also unaware that you might have noticed them. Just the spacing between paragraphs. The cut between sentences. The first sentence is uniquely fine. I am not really a literary puritan so I care less how do you format your work and besides, what matters to me above anything else is your story. You can consult your grammar, format, typos and all to everybody else but only you have your own imagination to create a story that would move readers.

Well, I really mean, I steer my eyes to the story and the underlying thoughts.

General evaluation:
Spiritually magical.


Note: The preceding statements are highly subjective and limited to the extent of my own assumptions. They may or may not reflect the generalizations of the majority. I rarely offer objective analysis in matters dealing with grammar and spelling particularly if they are trifling enough to disrupt the flow of the piece.


Thanks for the read!

Through the looking glass
Lewis




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Review of THE HUMAN GIFT  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings!

A WdC LITERARY AUDIT


How is the literary piece called?
 THE HUMAN GIFT Open in new Window. (E)
..God gave me a gift when he created you...
#1836382 by njames51 Author IconMail Icon

One glance and it will tell you that it is all about the gift of life. What impressed me at first glance is the attempt to emphasize a gift only God can give. The kind of gift only a few can be thankful of every time they wake up in the morning.

What is the literary piece (story line/concept versification) all about?
The piece is bathed in thanksgiving. It is smothered with a gratifying tone. Equipped with adoration, praise, awe and wonder. It I might be allowed to share my own speculation, the obvious subject is the coming of a newborn baby. The verses appeared to me as the most likely words a father or a mother would joyfully sing for the child.

Or it might be for someone who has just celebrated his/her birthday. But of course, the last say will be yours. It is your piece and no one knows it better than you do.

The verses flowed well. The passion hangs around every lines. Hmmm. I did enjoy it really. The chosen words carry with it the emotion which spiced the piece. I tried to understand the pattern in it or something that would establish order. But it seemed to have hidden real good because I could not find it. So ignoring rhymes and measurements, I focused upon the meaning and its imagery from which I obtained great satisfaction.

The references about appreciating a member of the human race or making a life. Somehow, they struck me. They seemed to bear deeper meaning than what the visible words profess. And also it engaged me to some thinking.

What is it to be a member of the human race?

How can you make a life?
If you point to a single piece of light, it will shed different colors.
Well, what I mean is if you look at it in different angles, it will pose new meanings from the existing ones.

The gratifying tone is overwhelming. It has the power to take the reader with it.

What is(are) the inherent intention(s) of the writer?
Thanksgiving. Praise. Appreciation of life as a gift. I have to say that you have chosen a rather good theme to dominate the entire piece. People have real lots of worries that they even forgot to be thankful for the lives of their cherished company.

Your piece also made me reflect of the grim contrary. If one day, those lives we loved being with, just end up and we didn't even bother thanking for it before it's too late, well, let's get back to your work.

The intention is clear and distinct so it easily drives its point home. It is also perceptive and sensibly versified.

Does the literary piece imply a real experience or a figment of imagination?
I reckon that only a real experience would produce such overwhelming gratitude and heartfelt appreciation for life. The emotions involved are powerful enough to suggest genuine experience.

Which part carries the most impact?
It was your life I experienced.
It was your making I was allowed to view.
It was the chance I was given.
God did that for me.

This is my favorite part. Not only that they are plain enough to stand for the general theme, their symmetry and length are delightful to hear and read. Also, these verses solidified my initial thoughts to your work. Like a concluding epilogue.

What further recommendations can be made?
Hmmm. Perhaps you can refine some parts of it by breaking your points in stanzas. It seemed to me that you have more to say which can be better captured and emphasized by breaking them. And also, sharpening a particular points in your piece will uneven the equal application of weight to your verses. Hmmm. Rhymes might help if this will not trespass your own style.

General evaluation:
Elusively artistic. A tasty blend of proper wordage seasoned with sincere gratifying emotion.



Note: The preceding statements are highly subjective and limited to the extent of my own assumptions. They may or may not reflect the generalizations of the majority. I rarely offer objective analysis in matters dealing with grammar and spelling particularly if they are trifling enough to disrupt the flow of the piece.


Thanks for the read!

Through the looking glass
Lewis



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4
Review of On the Other Side  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings!

A WdC LITERARY AUDIT


How is the literary piece called?
On the Other Side. An omniscient point of view based on the title but turned to be a first person point of view in context. Suitable as to its content. Stimulating for new audiences.

What is the literary piece (story line/concept versification) all about?
This is real brilliant! It speaks about a girl who was allured by a perfect man who, in reality does not exist. A bride who appears stultified in the company of her lover and seeks to find a new love. The piece makes a real great poetical story. It gives a certain polish to the reality behind relationship. A creative revelation of the bitter side of romance: some sweet stuff tattered with imperfections.

The construction is vivid and stylish. The words used in each verses flowed in a fascinating style. Well calculated. The rhyming is delightfully furnished.

What is(are) the inherent intention(s) of the writer?
As per my interpretation, it seeks to redefine marriage through a creative fictional portrayal of a seemingly delusional girl trying to find a perfect partner for herself. She was easily charmed by the nonexistent other side. Allured by a man of princely appearance: a deceitful one who feigns perfection. But in the end, the girl returned to the real side. Over the fence- where her partner waits for her.

It appeals to me like an individual's eventual change of heart and ways after realizing his/her mistakes. A person's own struggle to veer him/herself back on track. An attempt to undo what had been done and keep the lesson learned. The message is well-conceived.

Well, a poetry with a good grain of jewel to be reaped. Yes, this is.

Does the literary piece imply a real experience or a figment of imagination?
Hmmm. Hard to tell. Perhaps, I will go for a 50/50 guess. Perhaps, some real and partially hinted experience triggered the creation of this one. And of course, using the tool available to every writer, creativity furnished details and trimmed loose ends. Rhyming for instance. An experience translated to a good set of verses never fails to make me amazed.

As this one did. The idea of contriving a fictional setting of the other side, well, that, of course, is highly imaginative. You could not actually find some prince if you cross over your yard's fence.

Well, if your neighbor is deadly good looking, that might be possible. Ahem, I'm just joking.

Which part carries the most impact?
Going back: Honestly, several parts in your work struck me. But I think the best one is this:

My lover’s touch I did so miss
And old despair did seem amiss
Perfection does not happy make
It came to me my grave mistake

It tells about her remorse and repentance. It speaks a lot of the piece message. And also, the thing about perfection.

What thoughts/emotions do the literary piece stimulate?
Perfection is an illusory dimension. Indeed. Philosophically speaking, even man has always been considered the wisest and noblest creation, it does not preclude the fact that the humankind's reality is suffering. Well, as Buddha emphasized in his Eightfold paths. The wonder being: the fact that everyone of us knows that, yet we are seeking comforts the world has to offer. Can't get contented having enough. Always going measures to strain...strain...strain the limits of the word comfort. Just to find ourselves seeking perfection.

And that includes relationship. Can't get contented in a single one.

Thing is: the world is not a fairy tale. There's no prince charming.

What further recommendations can be made?
Ummm. I think the rating speaks for this one.

General evaluation:
A real delightful read. Fascinatingly written with a quizzical infusion of an unrequited romance ending in a lesson-learned experience. Enjoyable.



Note: The preceding statements are highly subjective and limited to the extent of my own assumptions. They may or may not reflect the generalizations of the majority. I rarely offer objective analysis in matters dealing with grammar and spelling particularly if they are trifling enough to disrupt the flow of the piece.


Thanks for the read!

Through the looking glass
Lewis



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5
5
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings!


A WdC Literary Audit





This is more or less like an essay, as per my judgment. A nostalgic and sentimental essay. Creatively written in a good style. It succeeded in transporting the emotion intended. It was able to cast the nostalgia to the reader.

It was also effective in its manner of delivering a good narrative. The girl was decorating her last Christmas tree. Her last participation in the annual celebration. It was a sad and unfortunate thing really. Christmas is one of the happiest season, ever.

Building up sympathy to the girl. The words establishing rapport. Artistic and skillful.

Suggestions? Hmmm. Perhaps, a good mix of twist and turn. Or another perhaps, something that would give a weighty impact.

But still, the potential is obvious.

Thanks for the read.






Through the looking glass
Lewis


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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings!


A WdC Literary Audit





It made my heart leapt a beat
And even bolted me from my seat
This is just a real good piece
To cast a thrill that never ceased.

This is a real good thrilling piece. It skillfully captured the readers' attention and snatched all (my) his drifting thoughts right from where they were wandering to every syllable in your work. It has a well-laid plot and calculated synopsis to excite (me) him in every sentence. The way it plowed upon action per action was commendable. It was vivid that it enabled (me) him to imagine the scene right before (my) his eyes.

The depth and the philosophical nature of this piece was fascinating if not intriguing. Madness. Insanity. There are also a lot of times that (I) he think(s) (I) he (am) is going mad. Yes, madness can even show you infernal depths of an unthinkable precipice of endless despair. It seemed to be metaphorically woven. Real clever. Ingenious.

The excitement never ceased. Right at the onset. It was packed with tension, suspense and thrill all throughout. To define the mad aspect of oneself in such a way was rather unique and descriptively imaginative.

Philosophically, the way it offers to define madness by seemingly splitting the same person in two was in a way dialectic, Socratic style. Only, of course, not in terms of a shallow literal dialogue. It pushes readers to think. Why. Why. How do this piece really depict insanity? Why did the writer choose such a manner of conveying his message?

The ending was also fascinatingly eerie. It felt like it did not really end. It just added to the mystifying horror you conjured which, in its own way, satisfying.

Me, Myself and the Reviewer.

Thanks for the good read!






Through the looking glass
Lewis


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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings!


A WdC Literary Audit






Indeed, this one is emotional. I have read several of the same type before. It is all stories of struggle, uplifting oneself, mustering one's courage and persevering not to lose sight of oneself. All of them are good piece.

And of course: this one is definitely included.

I like the imagery about being a tree. It is well-written and well-perceived. The theme is emotional and the mood and tone was contrived in a rather calculated and creatively measured style. It was smothered of emotion. Vivid too, in a way. I can imagine the speaker: someone who seemed weary enough in her battle but eyes beaming with conviction and resolution. She/He is just like in some stories I have read.

Very well portrayal. Good versification.

Suggestions? Hmmm. If I might be allowed to share some opinion which is of course, optional, perhaps, you can add a bit more impact. Something that would uneven the equal application of weight throughout the verses.

The potential and talent are commendable. Very obvious in this poem.

Thanks for the read!







Through the looking glass
Lewis


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Review of Hidden Truths  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings!


A WdC Literary Audit





This is wildly written that it made my fur crawl as I lay on my soft belly inside my den. Four paws up for your work! A flick of tail in salute!

Humorously clever. Your work is. I lost count how many times I have chuckled, grinned, smiled and laughed heartily at the central theme of your work. Plus the imagery: this is a good piece. If I will read this to my younger cousins before bed, they might really dream of animals frolicking in snow. Your description of someone being able to talk to animals enticed me to read this.

And of course: I have just proved how right I am.

Right from the beginning, it made me tuned in for the developments and everything just happened as to how I expected it. "This is going to be humorous," I thought. And indeed, it was.

The idea of having the protagonist spoke through the intercom and announced to the animals the news of snow delivery using humans phonetics, well, was a good start. As in, who would actually do that?

The sequence was well calculated too. The plot was well-woven. And of course, I enjoyed the part of the polar bears and penguins. Snow to them is as normal as everyday respiration. I think it's funny.

Suggestions? Hmmmm. Perhaps, a heavier impact by including something which would give a steep twist so as to disrupt the equal level of exhilaration evenly distributed throughout. But of course, it was fine the way it was.

Thanks for the read!






Through the looking glass
Lewis


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Review of Momentum  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings!


A WdC Literary Audit





Ingeniously written with the right amount of wits, charm and perception.

Wow, this one is great! I like the rhyme above anything else. Next is the meaning conveyed: sensibly rendered and well-delivered. As I plowed down upon your verses, the idea that your protagonist might be some hero speaking in your poem came in my mind. Of course, that was under the assumption that you would allow me to speculate. This hero had seen or realized the more important things in this physical world not all can see or realize. The way you personify him/her in a creative literary style is commendable. It is a job well-done!

He/She seemed to have made an important discovery which he/she found worthy to teach so as to alleviate/save the human race from a plight so dire. The references about his/her talent or wisdom seemed gave the piece a partial touch of an epic. It appealed to me that rather than being a plain poem endowed with a simple meaning, it offers the impression of being a poetical story with a simple synopsis and a cliff-hanged ending. But of course, poems are meant to puzzle. They don't offer everything as you see it. They prompt thinking. Asking readers for probing thoughts. Incisive inferences and deeper contemplations.

Which your poem gladly complied.

Suggestions? Just hone the skill. It's in you.

Thanks for the read.







Through the looking glass
Lewis


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10
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Review of The Sweetest Love  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings!

Your review request summarizing how others rated this one actually intrigued me so I come to see it myself. And then: it is real beautiful. Well-done! Properly cooked with the right amount of passion and slices of romance. It is creatively woven, knitted to charm and allure the romantic side of anyone who might read.

First and foremost: the imagery. This is the element of your piece I would commend most. It is what makes your piece, a delicacy. A real brilliant use of imagery to capture your feelings and transformed them into verses.

And then the tone: it seems to me that it is rather thankful for meeting the lady here than being passionately descriptive about, let's say, her features. I always read something like that.

The use of words are carefully chosen and well-measured. It has depth and well-thought of. The creativity floats within the stanzas. It's conspicuous and offers considerable impact on the weight of your meaning.

Aside from being passionate, it is sensible.

Please do know that I seldom write something of this genre and I'm afraid I cannot offer you good suggestions on improving your art. Just hone and shape up the talent. You have the right mix. It is not too cloying so it should not make the reader's skin crawl.

A real excellent work.
Thanks for the good read.

Through the looking glass
Lewis

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Review of The forest of now  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Greetings!

A WDC POWER REVIEW

Your fable was really well-written. To feature an animal-a red fox in this case was entertaining and deeply well-conceived. You have a good imaginative mind to ponder on things from an animal's point of view. This had produced a real intangible effect on the readers. The impact too was considerable.

First: you staged a forest where animals, innocent animals who just go about fulfilling their particular niche in the ecosystem or in the food chain, quite dramatically-giving them roles as protagonists. Turning humans, the race where you and I belong as villains.

The exact point which both of us will definitely meet a consensus. I agree with that, wholeheartedly. There are a lot of times I wonder about the authenticity of humans' humanity. If they can't even respect lives they deigned lower than theirs, then how will they be able to treat their fellow kind?

Oh and I'm not a misanthropist.

Your message is all very clear. Focusing the limelight to the fox and to his friend and treating humans like some disdainful creatures, aliens in the fox' domicile is a rather unique and pretty entertaining style of portraying animals while communicating the message you intended. Indeed, hunting and poaching are really disgusting evil deeds of men. What's more? They do those out of money and foolish pleasure.

I commend your work not only for its creativity but also it became a tool to magnify the animals' worth as living creatures. It's not like mankind is the only one with rights to live.

As for the synopsis, it is well-knitted, properly seasoned, rightly ripened to delight the readers. I don't focus correcting grammatical construction so please don't find that here. The theme involving animals equipping them with the faculties of thinking like a human, granting them the gift of tongue, at least to be able to communicate in a language we understand is a job well-done.

Suggestions: hmmm. This is the hardest part. I can offer you anything except for more depth, perhaps. The thing about hunting and poaching is a good central theme, yes. That's commendable. But perhaps, you might come up with a rather unique one. Give birth to something stunningly unique out of the common one. Like sowing a new dress from a tattered pajamas.

This a real fascinating fable you have.
Thanks for the good read.


Through the looking glass
Lewis

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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Greetings!

A WDC POWER REVIEW


First of all: I really enjoyed your poem! Thanks for a very delightful read!

It really leads me to wonder as to the theme of your piece. If I might be allowed to assume, I think the speaker here is going on an introspection- trying to learn more of his/herself.

In effect, the reader also unconsciously went on a similar experience as it did to me. It has an interactive aspect. Skillful and riveting.

I think Psychology is the science of studying human behavior. As to the definition, the genre is indeed suitable.

A short one with a seemingly lack of details- which just made it simply entertaining and an elusive read.

It pushes readers to think. It wants to be thought of. It seems there's a loty behind to discover.

Imagery. Well-done! The verses are fitting with each other. They suit well with the mysterious silence of your work. It never reveals much nor give a blast of revelation in the end. Puzzling in its own way.

As for suggestions: hmmm, I can't think of this part. Let's just say the remaining 0.5 is a room for growth and excellence.

The skill is commendable!
Thanks for the read.


Through the looking glass,
Lewis




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Review of I Fear the Night  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, . This is a review from {item:}.

Greetings!

Simple yet gorgeous.

Rhyming and measurements are fine. They catered a neat and inviting ambiance as the reader plowed upon your verses. The message too is clear and convincing. Complying with your chosen genre.

Indeed, this one is emotional. I can sense the fear. How this emotion holds the writer in its grasp. Memorably vivid in description and fashionable in style. Commendable.

References in candle and the plaintive plea of having them as guidance- to burn bright until the light of the day helps contrive the mood. The imagery is simple yet it finds its mark in the readers' head.

The repetition also creates a dimension of impact. Though a bit straightforward and a little plain. But still I cannot dare trespass your style. It is charming in its own way. After all, you cannot put a writer in a box. Any writer with talent does not write the way others instructed it. Talent is an elusive thing. It cannot be interpreted.

Creativity lives in you. Being able to transform such an emotion in a set of verses is an seet of every writer-poets and novelists alike.

Pieces of advice: I have said that you cannot put a writer in a box, so I seldom rectify or mold a writer as to how I see fit. That's why this suggestions are optional.

After all, it is not my intention to dictate anyone.

Perhaps, you might add a poetic plot. Something with twists and steep corners. Something short but will amplify the rest of your verses in a single one.

And perhaps, something that enriches what a reader already knew. You see, something with a kind of interesting information in it. Something like when read, we can say that, "Wow, I never did know that up until now!"

But of course, your style is at you own discretion.

Wish you the best in letters!

Through the looking glass,
Lewis


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*Fire* Congrats! You're receiving a gift from "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. ! The Solar Package has been ordered for you from: and includes the reviews of five poems! Enjoy! *Fire*
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Review of Sea Goddess Poem  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings! Here's one of the reviews from the Power Review Shop!

What I enjoyed most? The historical references.

she feels like Helen of Troy!
She watched Viking ships make their journey.
She suffered heart break when the Titanic sank.
If only Captain Smith would have taken ice bergs seriously and obeyed the sea.

I sniff large traces of the spirit of feminism here. What Poseidon got to say with your Sea Goddess or Nereus or Oceanus for that matter? I commend the unusual reverence for the goddess in your piece.

It is amusing, indeed. I would not dare to trespass your style but somehow, the lengths of some of your lines made me wonder, if not bothered. A little trimming might do. But of course, this is under the general presumption that I do not know your personal motives and objectives. If this is deliberately that way, then of course, this is fine.

For no one can judge the style of a writer in a single work.

It is just that rhythm or measurement does not seem emphasized. Long verses are good but creative phrasing might help. Good sentences might find good employment in essays, etc. Generally, poetry is like riddles, pieces of a puzzle. Something which will make the reader think for an elusive message. Sometimes, talent might diversify this into a witty humorous poetic story. But of course, this is your style.

In some mythological references or local folklore, mermaids are regarded as no more than as servants of the sea. See, higher deities tend to be males. The exception perhaps are the Amazons, a matriarchal society.

Really good to see you coming up with this poem. The feminist spirit shocked me a bit. I'm used to epic tales, fairy tales, short stories, novels alike, which heroes are all males. I haven't even heard of a female detective! So, seeing you with this unique and delightful work is commendable.

Nicely done.

Through the looking glass,
Lewis


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Review of Living to learn  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Greetings!

A well-written piece!

My favorite part is this:

We are living to learn
Not to earn

I always want to tell that to some people I know. It's good to see that there are people whom views you share, whose reflections shuns the worldly aspect of this opportunity we call life.

I laud the structure of your piece. Unpredictable, new to my eyes, quite a novelty. Rather whimsical.

There are lines which are short; others are long. It make me pause rather quickly then, in a moment (when lines are longer) slowly. GOOD TO HAVE READ SOMETHING NEW AND BRILLIANT!

The message is quite elusive and hidden so there rises the necessity to think and ponder. It is always a good exercise: thinking.

I want your idea about living and learning!

As well as your commentary about being born and dying someday.

Well written. Good piece to contemplate upon.


Wishing you the best in letters!

Through the looking glass,
Lewis
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Review of Holding On  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings!

What really attracted me to this: it was jotted down after 24 hours without sleep!

Then I thought what poem had he come up with? (I just got curious because in my case, I cannot write one without sleep. I do one in the morning, thanks to that, I was pretty scolded by a professor for tardiness!)

Now, let's go down to you (please spare my side comments). It was rather a verse with a melodramatic tone in it. It appears to me that you seem to be struggling with the difficulty of forgiving. Considering the emotional aspect put in verses, it is clear and it shoots through. I can see faint shadows behind the words: an aura of darkness in it. As a reader, I can feel the weight of emotion involved.

My favorite line is this:
I am holding on to letting go

I notice the paradox: holding on and letting go. They complemented well with each other and formed a quite a stunning meaning (this might be subjective on my part) hold on to let go. Something like persevering to give up something that is precious. Something we cannot really give up. Something that if we lose hold of, all that will be left are memories.

Good to see you pouring emotions in verses, since they are a good spice for a good piece.

I might not know the circumstances behind but I really like reading a good deal of variety. You have just given me one: drama. A piece to remember. I would not mind waiting more from you, perhaps comedy, (now, don't get too serious on that if it is not your fancy. I am just offering a bit of suggestion. I like it when writers are shapeshifters: something without real form. Something who can write from the most intellectual piece down to the most ridiculous one). But it is also good to create your hallmark. There's nothing wrong about that.

Your piece has a good punch.

(Now, try sleeping 12 hours straight and 5 hours more, then jot down something again when you wake up, I'll find that at the review request page, perhaps, it is comedy now, do you think?)

Well, the above statement is a joke if you do not want to do so :)


Through the looking glass,
Lewis.

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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings!

Thanks to your pretty well-done work that gave me a smile in a cool chilly morning!

I always like poem with nature and animals involved! At this work of yours, I remembered my little cousins who will definitely like this one. It has a child-like tone in it : about talking birds. I am fond of fables you see. At first, the poem appeals to me like a poem in its simple verses and light tone. It makes me forget to frown and scratch my head whenever i read hard poems.

This one has a pure and fresh idea inside it! I have read it several times and it is amusing to do. It is good to see you giving a hand in poetry. See, I am also trying and the gratifying feeling is great! I am not really a good one but all I know is your work is amusingly playful.

Wishing you the best in letters!



Through the looking glass,
Dormouse
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings!

This one has an unusual punch in it.

I enjoy reading it as I imagine its writer sitting on a desk and gazing through a window outside (of course, that was only my imagination). Your style has a creative shade in it that takes your reader with you in that Sunday afternoon. Taken subjectively, I can daresay that your poem also acts like a diary (if not a piece of history) in a way that it can visualize that one Sunday in your life - a very creative diary, indeed.

Mt favorite part is this:

And the little ones outside still live
in the freedom of their youth
Unfazed by the looming darkness
hardship still a hundred years away.

It has a bit of futuristic aspect: imagining those little children in years to come (according to my own impression). Giving hints for trials to come. Calm musings under the skies of a Sunday afternoon.

I like it best when writers draw out inspiration from everyday experience. Sometime, the queerer it gets, the better it (a poem) becomes.

This is not an intelligent suggestion (and I can offer no further comments in your work as it is fine the way it is) but always look around you and amidst this dull reality, there is always the queerest one that can give magic in your work!

Well-done!


Through the looking glass,
March Hare...
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Review of Half a Red Heart.  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings!

I really like the poem. Its form is pretty and well-written.

Alright. Taken subjectively, I can feel the depth of its meaning behind the words used to capture such a delicate thought.

Consider the colors for instance: How red, green and black portrayed the parts of the body and abstract things. Its simplicity and the scarcity of the visible words where invisible thoughts inhabit gave its mystic dark side. I would daresay the poem was successfully striking. I can personally relate this to myself though I believe it might be different to what you are meaning to say.

I find poems which somehow gave me a bit of shudder and a smile in my face due to its witty phrasing not only amusing but memorable.

I can see the trace of your lost girl in your implications particularly with half a red heart.

I do not know if this is correct but I think, it might meant her heart was torn in two or perhaps, she had lost her will and began faltering.

I can also feel sorrows and pain in your verses. The piece also got the power of alliteration (if that what is called and spelled, ha ha ha) in it.

I might not have given you an intelligent insight but all I know is that your art:

is a short clever piece
at is depth mystery sings
Hail for your Half a red heart
That shots like a dart.

Through the looking glass,
Lewis


...
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Review of Two Sides  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings!

Quite playful verses you have here.

Somehow, the way it became appealing was the fact of some psychological exploration of a man's personality perhaps (in his younger years, I venture),since I think they might (should) grow mature with time.

I like the way you went on with your poem. Simple yet still witty and in some respects, humorous. I do not know the circumstances which moved you to write this one, but whatever it was, it revealed the skill involved in turning everyday experience in verses (or perhaps, if this is more from imagination, then the way it was captured in letters is rather commendable).


Good thing letters exist. And letters are born.

Through the looking glass,
Lewis

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Review of Day and Night  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Greetings!

Since this is rather subjective, I would not touch subjects as to universality and objectivity. The piece is rather elusive. Something like your own story. Your own description. It is you. You showed the contrast in you as the sun crosses the heavens from east to west. Generally, it sounds enchanting but since it is your own emotional state, readers who do not have the same character like you do might find it difficult to relate as to what you might be meaning to say.

Perhaps you might try to involve others in your pieces. Or maybe, try putting some kind of a backdrop story where you have yourself as your own character rather than simply describing what you feel for a more stark impact. Actions told in verses with a little bit of plot might be enchanting to read.

Generally, each part of the piece fits in its place.

Write on!

Through the looking glass,

Lewis
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Review of Doors  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings!

This is short yet well-written. It really does reflect people. One of those doors is just the kind of personality my character (in one of my series) has. Closed forever. It will not leak. Somehow that part struck me most.

Furthermore, the wit in connecting dots between people and doors is a little charming.

Through the looking glass,

Lewis
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Review of A Glowing Purpose  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings!

This one is rather inspiring.

And so the world had revolved,
As another art its place is sought
In one way and another,
I shall commend another writer.

And so it was written,
Another piece of talent
Displayed, posted and marketed
In the readers' heads reigned

And so I have a new piece
A piece of intricate delicacy
Shall pluck a string with glee
In such a praise I feel.

Please don't get my style of reviewing wrong. I am not just too fond of the conventional and rather technical way of reviewing. Writers must sought what is outside the box. They grew from wisdom and heart not really of intelligence so please don't ask me of something technical if you're not my law professor.(*smile)

I do like the piece. Continue!~

Through the looking glass,
Lewis
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Review of Temporary Refuge  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
For a while now, I have been reviewing poetry after poetry. And I can say that I have been discovering talents after talents. You have an unusual style. Enigmatic. I am not really talented writing poems so I commend people like you who do. Keep it up!
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Review of Tag  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
A real good piece. I am not always moved by all sorts of poems but this one did. The theme itself is touching. Quite unique than what I've always read: two lovers torn apart. I felt sorry for Tag. He also made me reminisced my own dog before. This poem is tear-driving. Clear and specific. The measurement itself is enough to convey the story it suggests. Moreover, the way it was taken from the viewpoint of a dog is catching. The last line struck me most. Poems about humans are one thing. Nature is another. But animals~interesting.
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