We meet again! I took your word for it and started reading your interactive you've got going here. Not bad for a start, considering you have a fair amount of details and seem to have well-thought out and dynamic characters. You have a good hook to begin it and I feel that if I click to read the next choice of action, I will be more intrigued and want to know more.
However, I do have at least one issue with your writing, albeit a small one. Every other paragraph, there seems to be minor spelling error in it. You might not notice it, but errors and typos like these are annoying to a reader (especially if they are anal-retentive). I don't usually mind them, but for them to appear that frequently, I HAVE to call attention to. I suggest that you spell-check and proofread your writing before you are sure you are done with it. It should be no big deal. Let me give you an example: "Thief" is spelled like so (ie), not with "ei". I could go on, but you should be able to notice them yourself. ; )
Other than that, you are did fine with whatever you already have. I do admit that I didn't go far, but I shall continue on and perhaps finish it eventually! : )
I found your parody such a delightful one. It was very punny! And clever! I never would have thought to use the homonym "wing" to replace "ring". I found it especially funny when "The Nauseated" was used! I could just imagine them bursting into the tavern and comically threwing up all over the floor. Truly ingenious.
Have a wonderful New Year.
-MAC
... and the day lives on...
I'd agree with you on that. Personally, I think people who find their love solely by clicking a link and typing away on their keyboard is overrated and pathetic. But then, if you live in some place like Alaska where there is only a few people around, I'd understand. I would only do online dating if had no other choice. No questions asked. Thanks for the advice. What you said isn't new to my ears, but it did remind me of how big and scary the internet can be.
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