I'm curious whether or not you wrote this for a specific challenge. At first I wasn't sure if you were trying to make a point (and what that point might be). But looking through it a second time helped me just appreciate it as an interesting look into two personalities – yours and the subject.
I had the same surgery 5 years ago, including insertion of a special lens in one eye to correct astigmatism. Like you, I experienced a vast improvement. For a few months I could do just about everything without glasses, but gradually I started needing them to read and drive. I'm now 78, so I wouldn't expect to have perfect vision, and I'm still very glad I had the surgery.
I was happy to read about your experience, and I'm sure many others could benefit from the same procedure.
Just a couple of corrections: “radio keratometry” should be “radial keratotomy” and “They don't know you out” should be “They don't knock you out.”
I really enjoy writing stories set in different times, with characters that have quirky names. (See "The Taming of the Dragon" in my Prose portfolio.) And your story hits those factors with just the offbeat sense of humor I like. I could almost picture myself standing in the crowd, chuckling at the absurdity in front of me. Nicely done.
Nicely quirky. I was curious what caused the situation (who wouldn't be?), and initially assumed it would be something either very odd or quite normal. But it worked better as you wrote it - no explanation.
Exceptional! I liked the mystery of 'why is Sam here'? And I particularly liked "Sam mows down another three cookies." But I agree that lavender cookies sound disgusting.
What an enjoyable mix of forms. And funny, too. Who'd have thought to create such a wild compilation? And I liked that you included descriptions of the forms. I already knew most of them, but it was nice to learn some new ones. And all that craziness led to a fact - Strangers indeed can be fun.
As one who has 3 guitars, 2 banjos, a zither, a dulcimer, and a mouth bow, but never learned to play any of them worth a damn, I loved this poem. Of course, the time I'm spending typing this could be spent practicing, but I guess it's too late now.
I love the nebulous aspect of "tinies." It really sets your story apart from other titillating tales, and creates a sense of innocence in the experience.
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