Very cute! You have a few tiny errors, though... The third sentence breaks up the flow a bit where it is. I don't know how you want to fix that, but it seems slightly out of place to me. The only other thing is a couple of semi-colon uses where there should have been commas: "big, brown, teary eyes; begging her" and "expectant crowd of guests; together." Besides that, just remember to add in apostrophes for possessives and to check for spelling mistakes.
Great job. You've got good use of your excellent vocabulary. The characters act in a very human and realistic way. The only problem is your punctuation: you've got run-on sentences that have too many commas -- in some places you really should have started a new sentence. Also, if the clause is part of the same thought and you don't want to break it up, use a semicolon or colon if you really need one. Stay away from commas. Here's an example: "It isn't my fault your mother died: it was an accident. She fell off the battlements in despair one lonely night, waiting for you." Scattered through the piece are moments like that. Clean them up a bit and you'll have a powerful bit of prose!
Oh my gosh. That was such an awesomely told and fascinating story! The ultimate cross between the sci-fi and the horror genres. Could all this really be possible?! You did a fabulous job of presenting your story and its moral, and there were no grammar/punctuation/word choice errors to distract the reader from the story. Wonderful, wonderful job!
You had a few repetitive grammar/punctuation mistakes, such as using the perfect tense when you should have used past perfect, or putting a semi-colon where there should have been a comma or a colon, but the story-telling itself was very well done. I could really see everything that was going on as I read. Your descriptive word choice was good, though some verbs didn't quite capture the exact sense you were trying to get across. Over-all, a very good piece. Fix your grammar and your punctuation mistakes and this will be fabulous.
One more thing, though: the story felt somehow unfinished, even though I know there was nothing more to tell. I don't really know how to express it. That could just be me, though, I don't know.
The answer to your question would depend entirely on circumstances not described here. Why is the watcher not doing anything? Is it that he won't or just can't? And why is the human beating the monster? What if he does have a cruel personality, but perhaps the monster does deserve it, even if he does try to be helpful and friendly?
Sorry: I think I have an overly active imagination. lol
Nice job! Original plot and characters. However, at times it was a bit confusing, trying to tell what was going on or even whose viewpoint we were with. Try to be a little clearer with separating different sections (by viewpoint or otherwise).
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