The expansion on the horizon is seen in so many ways and in so many expressions it just busted out in reality it felt so good to read this. The word choices are incredible and spread throughout the poem in a dazzling array. 5.0 The best poem iv'e read on this site!
I think you tried to use to many big words which made this incredibly hard to understand.... i give it about a 3.5 because it felt deep. "In a single moment it hit me with full force- that truly" the - should be more of a .. rather.
And with that I shall pursue Isolationism" oh wow this was pretty good i like how you point out insecurities and or problems that some people have and turn it around into this. It's like you tell how people can become somewhat paranoid and therefore be wrecked. I loved it great poem!
"Reality dawns,
crisp and cold." the way you described it was so amazing it just touched me.
"There is no black
and white.
There is more
than just shades
of grey." it feels like this is saying its not about being everyone else you should be yourself.
of colour and light
fills our world.
Taints everyone
and everything
that's in it.
If no one colour
is truer
than any other,
Is there any such
thing as truth? i kind of dont like how this poem is so dark in a way so it feels so lonely.
overall i love how this makes me think.
This had a wonderful story line. I enjoyed all the vocabulary inside of this and i rreally am just shocked! i have no improvements for you. made my day!
"which always affirms our love"
Confirms our love. You could have said looking into eachothers eyes aswell.
"blending together where no beginning is known and no ending exists."
I like this line a lot because of it's caring aura, but it is kind of decieving in a way that love should not be rushed and i would want to remember a beginning. But it is a nice touch at that!
"I have known only one miracle and that was found the day we met.
Love is all that you ask for, may I give you much more than that."
I think you could have expanded upon this it was beautiful maybe a line or two explaining the kind of love she/you want to give this imagery and more emotion.
"Our love is much stronger than the bond between us"
The bond between you made your love that strong so therefore the bond is stronger then the love hahaha but could you explain how you explain your reasoning in that line please?
"Vain it would be to consider that I could realize my happiness in your absence. "
I love this line it is so immense this is the kind of emotion i like to feel!
Overall i really liked the way you express this it soudns like a first or second love and i can partially relate! but maybe another time you could creatte something thats like "I love you with lal my heart and if you ever will be misled to another by what you think of the word "beauty" then my love will be lost for you" you know like empowering! great poem and keep it up.
It's because you enjoy what you do
I understand that money's important
Very true statements these days. I like that this is insperacianal but not all is true.. and most people won't go by this but i liked jit in all
The title being incorporated was brilliant and i enjoy all of scenarios! This really made my day well being it so faithful and showing a true friend in so many aspects. There is no need for improvement! great job!
This was very interesting, but it really needed punctuation in it. You illustrate a split ffamily very well. Sounds like the narrator is like the sister or someone? But sounds like she just wants to leave. Sounds lke to me you should write a short story or something.
"Pushed too far, snapped inside"
This opening is one of the best iv'e read in awhile. It is a straight to the point thing that makes so much sense.
"Cry for help, too much to hide"
i understood instantly why no help would come her way its enlightening.
"Just take a deep breath...
and let go of the fear"
I think the pain and agony got to her and she finally got some help!
Overall this is a lovely poem and is done beautifully
"Shadows move where nothing stands."
The spookiness of this line reminds me of so many things i love it!
"Blood moon"
I don't like how a word of the title is in the poem itself; i find it cheesy.
Try Crimson moon that's what i would have used, Reason being it's still red and is actually well known for "beasts"(werewolfs) like Blue moon.
The end was ok, but i would have liked more detail of the environment and how intimidating and shocking the beasts is!
One thing i'd like to address really quickly is grammar, it was the little things like Your, :I'll be right there by your side. You can lean on me." the period here in the middle which should have been a coma or semi-colon(in regular english not poetry itself sometimes), and "make you stop but I am" coma before back.
Other then those small errors
"If you have a little cry and shed a little tear.
Maybe I can't make you stop but I am always near."
Your poem shows the true meaning of lean on me and does it perfectly. What i get out of the whole poem in one go is that no matter what ill be there for you and i don't want you to get hurt in anyways. Great poem!
Little Poet House in the Wild West
or the Conservative East
or the Industrious North
or the Grand Old South
I truely loved how this is said! it just drew me in to the points where i had to try and join this society! The idea is excellent iv'e seen interactive stories, This is Just so much better! great intro and it looks so fun!
This poem is so detailed and it makes me imagine the figure/overwhelming feeling of this entity so easily! Its flow is one of the finest iv'e read in awhile. You're amazing keep doing what you do!
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