I loved this piece! The rhyme scheme really smooths the rythm and keeps an even flow. I liked your diction in this piece too. My favorite lines: "He repays me with his lyrical word,/Supreme and without a doubt superb,..." Keep writing!
Fantastic job with this poem! I really liked your personification and imagery. My favorite lines: "Dunes resting on the desert floor/portray a constant image to the eye/belying the truth of their nature..." Well done, and keep writing your best!
Great job with this piece! You have a smooth flow and personification. The cliche of "wishing upon a star" is overused, but it fits well in your poem. My favorite lines: "I did./My wish came true./I have you." Well done, and keep writing your best!
Very nice. I really like your descriptions. You portray the characters very well. I especially liked the writing.com twist. My favorite line: "In fact, he gave Sara so many gift points, he needed to buy more..." Well done, and keep writing your best!
Great imagery and personification! This is a fantastic poem. The rhyming flows smoothly, and doesn't seem forced. My favorite lines: "pulsing through the supple whips that sing/of far off places they should visit,/tales of dreams the solar winds would bring..." Well done, and keep writing your best!
I love Yellowstone! Fantastic job with this poem! You had great imagery, and I was reminded of my vacation there. Yellowstone is, by far, my favorite place on Earth! My favorite lines: "Snow glistens and brillant moonlight shines/While lustrous stars above twinkle and align..." You did have a typo. "Grizzly" doesn't have an "e". Well done, and keep writing your best!
Nice job with this poem! You had great personification and imagery. My favorite lines: "The scent of roses lingering in the breeze/Comfort to a weary soul..." Well done, and keep writing your best! Have a good holiday!
I liked your occasional rhyme, which kept the poem fairly smooth. You also had great personification! My favorite lines: "When life has slowed and/Time has ceased/And death has drawn my breath..." I have no suggestions. Well done, and keep writing your best!
What I Liked... You were very imaginative and creative with this piece. You draw in your readers well. Nice ending. It was funny and unexpected. My favorite lines: "Souls were the multidimensional aspects of all beings, and human souls were as close to the Source as any being the Sentries had ever encountered..."
What I Liked... Your family history sounds interesting in itself. Your great grandmother seemed like a strong woman, the perfect heroine. I like how you plan on writing about your "dreams". It's a little cliche, but it seems to work.
My Suggestions You had a few punctuation mistakes. I think it would be helpful if you were to fully profread your piece. For example, you need a comma after "Istanbul" in the second paragraph.
Suggestion: Istanbul, Turkey
What I Liked... You seem to have great and encouraging motives for your readers. This poem is quite inspiring. I liked your consistent rhyming. My favorite lines: "Only you alone can pay the toll,/For dreams you hope come true!..."
My Suggestions Maybe some more similes, metaphors, or other poetry elements could brighten this up.
What I Liked... I liked your metaphors and similes. I especially liked: "The light as silent as footfalls,..." Nice personification. My favorite lines: "Snowflakes/Glide listlessly/Through the wooden lace/Of the fingers of time;..."
What I Liked... I liked the occasional rhyme, which helped maintain a smooth flow. Nice similes! My favorite example was also my favorite lines in your poem: "It sloshes like oceans, my psyche/In this time cycle measured by fear." Good personification!
What I Liked... Nice rhyming and diction. I liked the "Convention Pirates} refrain. My favorite lines: "Every author I study and remember,From freezing January through December..."
My Suggestions Perfect spelling and grammar. None.
What I Liked... You used a great theme that love can be found in the most interesting places. I loved the ending! It was hilarious and unexpected. I was waiting for Henry to come to her and I laughed when I learned that it was her daydream.
What I Liked... You had some good alliteration. I especially liked: "A fierce flash of blue..." My favorite lines were also a metaphor. "The ocean would overflow/And the salty water would drench his shoulder..." Good simile about "reading her like a book". It's a little cliche, but it fits well.
What I Liked... I loved your personification! The "raindrops prancing" is very creative, and it brings great imagery to the reader. Even though you don't have a set rhyme scheme, you still managed to write a nice poem. I loved your diction! Poetry requires the "perfect" words for a smooth flow, which you did beautifully.
Fantastic job with this piece! You had great examples of alliteration and personification. I especially liked how each line began with "d". My favorite lines: "...dark, driving rain, distant thunder/droplets of darkness, devil's plunder..." Well done, and keep writing your best!
Thank you for writing such an inspiring piece! I really liked your motives for writing this, and it was truly beautiful. My favorite lines: "Make poverty history/Ensure that those 'buds' flower." Well done, and keep writing your best!
Blessings,
True Blue
P.S. I've found a great website to help solve world issues. By clicking every day, you generate a free donation. Let me know if you are interested!
Wow! I loved your metaphor and descriptions. My favorite lines: "...Of hate onto this deceiver’s head.
Doublespeak has left me for dead." Fantastic job, and keep writing your best! Have a great day!
Great job with this piece! I really liked your good rhyming and your personification. My favorite lines: "Until in anger my words I've poured.
'The pen is mightier than the sword'" Well done and keep writing your best!
Great job with your poem! You had fantastic diction and similes. As I said before, I think that punctuation could make this piece even better. My favorite lines: "each moment a star glistening in the existential universe where we dwell like gods creating our existence..." Well done and keep writing!
Fantastic job with this piece! I really liked your good humor and your analysis of the poets. My favorite lines: "But Frost who persuades us to find roads less traveled, Is short, but the bunny trail’s hard to unravel." Well done and keep writing!
This is a fantastic poetic piece! I love your good diction and your personification. My favorite lines: "Secrets shared and carried on the wind, Restless spirits soar on the pure blue sky, Love lives forever and forever deepens." Well done and keep writing your best! Have a great day!
This is another good piece! I like your diction and personification, especially your "dancing prairie grass" line. You also have great descriptions, I can actually see the battle as it happened. Well done and write on!
Best wishes,
True Blue
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/pawnee
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.09 seconds at 12:42pm on Dec 31, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My favorite line: "In fact, he gave Sara so many gift points, he needed to buy more..." Well done, and keep writing your best!
You were very imaginative and creative with this piece. You draw in your readers well.
None.
My favorite lines: "But Frost who persuades us to find roads less traveled, Is short, but the bunny trail’s hard to unravel." Well done and keep writing!