This is a beautifully penned poem. Rhythmically it flows comfortably, and each line creates a vivid image. I was hooked by the second line.
If I would make any suggestion, it is that the words, "each one trouble" were difficult for me to understand. I had to stop and reread a few times, which broke the lovely rhythm. I wonder if changing the line to, "Never causing the other's troubles" would stay true to your direction?
Still, even with this little catch, this is a sweet and invigorating piece. Keep up the great work.
I answered this poll as if the question referred strictly to literature. When writing a story, be it fiction or non-fiction, it is an account of the lifestyle, not a reflection of it. It is, however, a reflection on the author. Any story must stand on its own merit, but improper grammar is an instant measurement of the care and attention of the author to his/her work, and it is awkward to read a story with errors obvious enough that they make the reader blink. Yes, the reader, if they are familiar with the lifestyle conventions, will realize what the author is trying to convey, but by then the first impression is set.
If the writing is not a story but something far less formal, such as a forum or chatroom post, then the lifestyle naming conventions are appropriate. There, the musings are not a reflection on the writer but a snapshot, and is dependent upon the other snapshots. In other words, it cannot stand on its own.
Incidentally, if the pronoun "I" is to be lower-case, then all pronouns referring to the Dom are capitalized, e.g. "The Mistress left Her slave at home."
The emotions described are common enough that most readers can relate to your writing.
The poem flowed nicely with good rhythm. I almost gave 4.5 because I am a stickler for technical aspects (punctuation and capitalization), but I changed it because this is a rare piece where it did not distract me.
Thank you for letting us all know, "it's not just me!" I go through the same when I shop the Crayola aisle.
This essay is technically smooth with a comfortable flow. If there are any minor imperfections, they are certainly lost on the reader. I enjoyed this too much to go back and look with a critical eye, so one will have to be found elsewhere.
An interesting format. I had to start it three times, because I've not seen that particular layout for poetry. I gave this piece a 4 rather than a 4.5 or a 5 for technical reasons ("text-speak", spelling, and rhythm). However, the content is thought-provoking and observant. This is a piece worth polishing.
Beautiful, and a tear-jerker. My eyes are wet as I type this. This work has a greater impact on me because both my daughter and my son have autism. Parents of special-needs children share your protagonist's fear.
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