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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/puppetmaster84
Review Requests: ON
218 Public Reviews Given
228 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I will say what I liked about your piece and if I have any suggestions for improvement. My reviews are usually short, sweet and to the point. I prefer to review short stories but will look at poetry if asked to.
I'm good at...
finding mistakes with grammar/punctuation. Also I can let you know if your plot is effective.
Favorite Genres
Religious, romance, sci-fi, fantasy
Least Favorite Genres
erotica,sports
Favorite Item Types
Statics - short stories
I will not review...
anything overly sexual or violent, anything anti-Christian
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Stare-master  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Foxtale, PM here to review your story.

Thank you for the review request.

The diction and characterization are good. However, there isn't really a plot. While it's a good start, there is room for expansion.

It works as a vignette, however for a story it would need more of a plot arch.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!
2
2
Review of The Ocean  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Joy,

This is a beautiful poem. I see nothing to fix.

Congrats on the awardicon!

Good job and keep writing!

PM
3
3
Review of Hidden Witness  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Purple,

This poem is very dramatic and charged with energy and emotion. I see nothing that needs to be fixed, although the ending seems to come mid- thought and the reader is left hanging. You could resolve that but even if you don't it still reads well.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
4
4
Review of Tools  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello QueenNormaJean, PM here to review your flash fiction.

It's great. The descriptions and setting are well established and the diction is good. I like the play on words, too.

I see nothing to fix or improve.

Good job!

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
5
5
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Vanishing Vapor,

This is a great poem! I like the diction and how it tells a story. It would make a great song if you set it to music.

The rhythm in the third and fourth stanzas could be tweaked a little but otherwise I see nothing to fix or improve.

Great job, and congrats on the win!

PM
6
6
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Michelle, PM here to review your poem.

I am sorry for your loss. This poem is a beautiful, touching tribute to your mom. It is moving and I see nothing to fix or improve.

Writing about your loss is a healthy way to process your grief. I offer my condolences.

Good job, and keep writing!

PM
7
7
Review of Payback  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Purple Princess, PM here to review your story.

It's a good start. The diction is good, however I think you could build on it more. It ends mid thought and doesn't have a resolution. Also it has a lot of telling as opposed to showing.

Despite this, it has potential. With a little more work it could be a great story.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
8
8
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Jimmy Fog, PM here to review your poem.

I like the diction and the imagery. It is very well written. I see nothing to fix or improve.

I see you are fairly new to W.com. Welcome! Please let me know if there is any way I can be of help.

Good job on this poem, and keep writing!

~ PM
9
9
Review of Perfection  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello tjlorz, PM here to review your poem.

Welcome to W.com! I hope you will enjoy your time here. Please let me know if there is any way I can be of help.

Onto your poem:

It is profound, relatable and well written. I see nothing to fix or improve on.

Good job and keep writing!

PM
10
10
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, Strychnine, PM here to review your poem.

It's beautiful, touching and poignant. The rhythm could be refined a little but otherwise I see nothing to fix.

Good job, and keep writing!

PM
11
11
Review of Morning  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Jacky, PM here to review your story.

It's touching and sad, but well written. It is mostly told rather than shown and there is room to expand if the contest's word limit allows. The first sentence is a sentence fragment.

It's still a good story. Thanks for sharing!

PM
12
12
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Butturbug,

Welcome to W.Com! I hope you will enjoy your time here.

I am happy to read that you found what you were looking for. W.Com is a great community and I expect you will enjoy it.

I see nothing to fix in your item.

Please let me know if there's anything I can help with.

PM
13
13
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Happy to Write,

This is a profound and beautiful piece. I agree with the message.

Just a couple of edits:

"that" in the middle of the third paragraph should be capitalized.

"They're" in the fifth paragraph should be "their".

Still a great piece! Thanks for sharing!

PM
14
14
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Fyn, PM here to review your poem.

It is profound and well-written. I like the metaphors and see nothing to improve.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
15
15
Review of Birthday Party  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello QueenNormaJean, PM here to review your flash fiction.

It is well written. I see nothing to improve. I like the ending and I feel for the birthday guy.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
16
16
Review of The Bob  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello W.D. Wilcox,

This story is awesome and very well written. I see nothing to improve.

Congrats on the win, and thanks for sharing!

PM
17
17
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Macklin Freemark, PM here to review your story.

I like it. I like how the protagonist grows and changes from his experiences.

The only edit I have is that it is mostly told rather than shown. Instead of saying facts about the characters I would suggest showing them through action and dialouge.

It is still a great story, though. Thanks for sharing!

PM
18
18
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Mary Ann MCPhedran, PM here to review your poem.

It is shirt, simple and yet very cute. I see nothing to fix or improve.

Good job, and thanks for sharing!
19
19
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Tim Chiu, PM here to review your poem.

It is well written and I sympathize with the message.

I see nothing to fix or improve.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
20
20
Review of A letter home  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Sumojo, PM here to review your piece.

It sounds very authentic. I like the POV and how well written it is. I don't see anything that needs to be fixed, although it might read easier if you broke it up into paragraphs with spaces between them.

Good job!

PM
21
21
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello BlackAdder, PM here to review your story.

It is well written. The first paragraph is more told than shown but otherwise I see nothing to fix.

Thanks for sharing, and good job!

PM
22
22
Review of Twenty-three  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Beholden, PM here to review your story.

Congrats on the win!

It is interesting and well written. The only issue I see is that it is mostly told rather than shown.

It is a great story. Thanks for sharing!

PM
23
23
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello,

This is cool. I wonder about random stuff like this too.

It's called a hamburger because it originated in Hamburg, Germany. Has nothing to do with what is on it.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
24
24
Review of Boys in Blue  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Winchester Jones,

This is a strong, dramatic piece. It seems to end a little suddenly. I am curious about what happens to Lottie.

It is very well written. Aside from maybe expanding it I see nothing to fix.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
25
25
Review of Growing up  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Azot, PM here to review your story,

Welcometo W.Com! Please let me know if there's anything I can help you with.

Your story is profound and well written. I have just a couple of suggestions:

I would recommend putting spaces between paragraphs to make it easier on the eyes.

I would also put the plant's words in quotation marks.

it's still a great story! Thanks for sharing!

PM
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