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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/puppetmaster84
Review Requests: ON
227 Public Reviews Given
237 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I will say what I liked about your piece and if I have any suggestions for improvement. My reviews are usually short, sweet and to the point. I prefer to review short stories but will look at poetry if asked to.
I'm good at...
finding mistakes with grammar/punctuation. Also I can let you know if your plot is effective.
Favorite Genres
Religious, romance, sci-fi, fantasy
Least Favorite Genres
erotica,sports
Favorite Item Types
Statics - short stories
I will not review...
anything overly sexual or violent, anything anti-Christian
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Snowflake  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Amethyst Snow Angel, PM here to review your poem.

It is beautiful and profound. I see nothing to improve.

Good luck in the contest!

PM
2
2
Review of Oppenheimer 2  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Jeremy, PM here to re-review your item.

It reads a lot better now. You don't need to use quotation marks in a script, though.

Good job editing this!

PM
3
3
Review of Oppenheimer 2  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hi Jeremy, PM here to review your item.

Thank you for the review request.

It's an interesting concept but there is room for improvement.

In the title "every" should be "ever" and each word should be capitalized.

You should put spaces in between each character's lines to make it easier to read.

When writing scripts, action is usually italicized instead of having stars around it.

Many of the lines are missing punctuation.

Given these issues, I can't honestly rate this high. I don't mean to discourage you. If you would like to work on it some more I could come back and re-rate it.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
4
4
Review of Traditions  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Dave, PM here to review your poem.

It's cute and festive, with good diction.

I see nothing to fix.

Good job and I wish you luck in the contest.

PM
5
5
Review of Turkey, Anyone?  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Espero, PM here to review your story.

It's an interesting and believable story.

I would modify the sentence structure. You have several sentences with commas in the middle. It would read better if you broke them up into separate sentences.

Good luck in the contest!

PM
6
6
Review of Ki and Education  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, PM here to review your item.

It is well written and profound.

The only issues I see are the lack of punctuation and that the starts of sentences are not capitalized. It would read better as an essay with standard punctuation.

It is still an outstanding piece. With a little technical editing it would be even better.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
7
7
Review of Stare-master  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Foxtale, PM here to review your story.

Thank you for the review request.

The diction and characterization are good. However, there isn't really a plot. While it's a good start, there is room for expansion.

It works as a vignette, however for a story it would need more of a plot arch.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!
8
8
Review of The Ocean  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Joy,

This is a beautiful poem. I see nothing to fix.

Congrats on the awardicon!

Good job and keep writing!

PM
9
9
Review of Hidden Witness  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Purple,

This poem is very dramatic and charged with energy and emotion. I see nothing that needs to be fixed, although the ending seems to come mid- thought and the reader is left hanging. You could resolve that but even if you don't it still reads well.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
10
10
Review of Tools  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello QueenNormaJean, PM here to review your flash fiction.

It's great. The descriptions and setting are well established and the diction is good. I like the play on words, too.

I see nothing to fix or improve.

Good job!

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
11
11
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Vanishing Vapor,

This is a great poem! I like the diction and how it tells a story. It would make a great song if you set it to music.

The rhythm in the third and fourth stanzas could be tweaked a little but otherwise I see nothing to fix or improve.

Great job, and congrats on the win!

PM
12
12
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Michelle, PM here to review your poem.

I am sorry for your loss. This poem is a beautiful, touching tribute to your mom. It is moving and I see nothing to fix or improve.

Writing about your loss is a healthy way to process your grief. I offer my condolences.

Good job, and keep writing!

PM
13
13
Review of Payback  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Purple Princess, PM here to review your story.

It's a good start. The diction is good, however I think you could build on it more. It ends mid thought and doesn't have a resolution. Also it has a lot of telling as opposed to showing.

Despite this, it has potential. With a little more work it could be a great story.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
14
14
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Jimmy Fog, PM here to review your poem.

I like the diction and the imagery. It is very well written. I see nothing to fix or improve.

I see you are fairly new to W.com. Welcome! Please let me know if there is any way I can be of help.

Good job on this poem, and keep writing!

~ PM
15
15
Review of Perfection  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello tjlorz, PM here to review your poem.

Welcome to W.com! I hope you will enjoy your time here. Please let me know if there is any way I can be of help.

Onto your poem:

It is profound, relatable and well written. I see nothing to fix or improve on.

Good job and keep writing!

PM
16
16
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, Strychnine, PM here to review your poem.

It's beautiful, touching and poignant. The rhythm could be refined a little but otherwise I see nothing to fix.

Good job, and keep writing!

PM
17
17
Review of Morning  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Jacky, PM here to review your story.

It's touching and sad, but well written. It is mostly told rather than shown and there is room to expand if the contest's word limit allows. The first sentence is a sentence fragment.

It's still a good story. Thanks for sharing!

PM
18
18
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Butturbug,

Welcome to W.Com! I hope you will enjoy your time here.

I am happy to read that you found what you were looking for. W.Com is a great community and I expect you will enjoy it.

I see nothing to fix in your item.

Please let me know if there's anything I can help with.

PM
19
19
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Happy to Write,

This is a profound and beautiful piece. I agree with the message.

Just a couple of edits:

"that" in the middle of the third paragraph should be capitalized.

"They're" in the fifth paragraph should be "their".

Still a great piece! Thanks for sharing!

PM
20
20
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Fyn, PM here to review your poem.

It is profound and well-written. I like the metaphors and see nothing to improve.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
21
21
Review of Birthday Party  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello QueenNormaJean, PM here to review your flash fiction.

It is well written. I see nothing to improve. I like the ending and I feel for the birthday guy.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
22
22
Review of The Bob  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello W.D. Wilcox,

This story is awesome and very well written. I see nothing to improve.

Congrats on the win, and thanks for sharing!

PM
23
23
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Macklin Freemark, PM here to review your story.

I like it. I like how the protagonist grows and changes from his experiences.

The only edit I have is that it is mostly told rather than shown. Instead of saying facts about the characters I would suggest showing them through action and dialouge.

It is still a great story, though. Thanks for sharing!

PM
24
24
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Mary Ann MCPhedran, PM here to review your poem.

It is shirt, simple and yet very cute. I see nothing to fix or improve.

Good job, and thanks for sharing!
25
25
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Tim Chiu, PM here to review your poem.

It is well written and I sympathize with the message.

I see nothing to fix or improve.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
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