The story itself has a good plot and there is something to write about, if you know what I mean.
The introduction itself wasn't very impressing. You could have started with describing Tom and Christina. The story has lack of dialouge and very few details. Also you have a basic spelling mistakes: 'Several months had PAST but he couldn't find a way to tell her how he felt about her.' i think that must have been 'passed'
You might think I am rude at criticizing like this. I have been criticized too, here on Writing.com. I think being shown where you have went wrong helps you learn from your own mistakes.
If I were you, I would revise the story and see how I would make it sound better.
Today I went to the cup. It stank in there like a mouse. Then I cutthe machine. It felt really good to write the machine so i did it again. I was quickly. So i yell all the way home. When i got to my hat. I hit my table. I ate myself. So i decided to go and run around outside until the cabbage was ready. The End
"One of the most infamous pirate crews is that of smellybeard The Terrible."
My faveorite part of the story! The result of the madlib was extremlet hilarious and I enjoyed both filling in the blanks and reading the end result!
Keep Writing!
rainbow 85
AMAZING!!! This was awsome - the best part of a madlib is when you enter in random words not knowing whaat might come up. The result is always satisfying!!!!!
A very sad poem conserning the death of your sister. I must congratulate you on the way you used your words and I can say I feel inspired. Keep writing!!!!
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