Another well written chapter and that's mainly because I'm enjoying the first person POV. The character is someone I wouldn't mind meeting and because he's British and from an era I haven't read since the early writings of Agatha Christie, I'm getting a POV I'm not use to reading. Sentences are well constructed and there's no punctuation errors that hamper the flow of the story. I'm looking forward to the rest, so, I hate to say it, but what the heck...a very good show!
A fine prologue. I haven't read much epic fantasy, other then Tolkien and Lewis, so this has me intrigued, (will it be epic?). I like your descriptions, very vivid. All I can say is tighten up your sentences, for example, the first sentence seems disjointed. Maybe you can write it to say: "As the sun set, a small farmhouse sat in the middle of a dark field like an island of light."
Also this sentence: "Normally the horses would greet him with all manner of noise, but they wouldn’t this night, he saw". It would work well without - ",he saw."
And I would add a sentence for when the bandits leave the farmhouse and come in contact with the knights. It's so abrupt, I didn't realize they weren't a part of the band of thieves until later in the paragraph.
Overall, I enjoyed the imagery and descriptions. Good job!
Its' a nice beginning chapter. I like the setting. It has a bit of a Harry Potter feel mixed with some anime I've seen in the past. The antagonist and heroes are fleshed out early and colored well. Watch your sentence structure with repeating words, puncuation issues, and misspellings. All errors that are easy to make, but easy to fix. Re-read your story out loud, listen to the cadence, does it flow? If it sounds good, keep it, if it doesn't, don't be afraid to bring the ax. Keep up the good work!
Nice beginning chapter, sets up the world adequately, (I'm assuming it's around the turn of the century? or mid 20th century? not sure). Martin is a likable character and I'm interested in where this adventure will take him. Although I would have enjoyed there to be a tad more description, the sentence flow was fine using a first person POV. Overall, a good job!
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