First and foremost I think this is a fantastic story. The fact that it's plausible makes it that much better. I've often pondered if mankind was meant to be the only sentient species, or just the first.
My biggest critique would be that it reads like a summary. There's enough stuff here for a novel if you wanted to flesh it out. I hope you do.
The my other concern is the ending. It seems rather abrupt. And at no point do we get any sort of reaction from humans. Where are they in all of this? Do we somehow reject our nature and join the animals? Or do we continue to fight them?
Very clever. Well written. My critique would be that the rhyming made it seem tongue in cheek. I suppose I HOPE it's tongue in cheek. I know I wouldn't want anything to do with a world where someone else governs my life with an iron fist like that, even if they think they mean well. Do they really know what's best for everyone?
Regardless, tapdancing on the line between prose and poetry like this isn't easy and yet it was very well executed.
That was quite the plot twist at the end. I was poking around looking for something light to break up the day and while I rarely reach for sci-fi, this caught my eye. Very well done. But as a proud alumni of The Orange And Green, it's a shame to me that it had to take place in "Northern Indiana!" :)
Very nice. I do my share of bushcrafting - which is kind of like scouting but for adults - so reading this allowed me to escape to the outdoors for a few minutes.
Thank you for the respite.
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