Awesome! I know exactly how you feel.
I have so much stuff bottled up, and when someone asks how I'm doing, I want to say, my job sucks, I'm drowning in debt, I'm about to lose everything, and the one person I thought I could love forever has become my worst enemy. Oh yeah, and I had an abusive neglectful childhood.
Haha, sorry. I liked this a lot, it gets right to the heart of the matter, that we hide our emotions.
But I understand, if I asked somebody how they were doing and they unloaded on me, I'd feel like maybe I shouldn't have asked.
That's why mainly I just say hey rob or whoever. I feel like asking a stranger how they're doing is getting into their business. Even people I know, if they're not really a friend, I just say hey.
But I do want to ask, how are you doing?
Awesome read Lesley! I grew up with a lake in the backyard, a man made lake that drains from the goose creek reservoir. There were so many gators back there, but I never saw one up close. Not until a man fishing on our land caught a baby gator! ( one time he caught my shirt with a hook, I'm just glad he didn't hook my face) but yeah, I'm a herper. I love snakes and lizards, but my wife will not tolerate those in the house. I'm an animal lover all around.
Very well written story, I could feel the excitement. I wish I had a job like that, I like challenges though I'm not fearless. But I have a good head on my shoulders, and I'm no where near as fearful of snakes as some people. My boss jumps up to the highest place and screams for his son, who takes care of it. Yet he tries to be the biggest baddest man. And I really want to wrestle a gator, Ive watched it done enough I think I could do it.
Anyways, awesome story. Thanks for writing it!
Hi! Great poem you have here. I typically read anything that hints of despair, it's a feeling I am well accustomed to. I went through four solid years of loneliness.
I feel you have a great command of language, and you set the scene quite well.
I must say the rhyme pattern changes from the first stanza to the second stanza and the pattern repeats in the next two. Don't know if that explains it, I'm not a great reviewer. You may have intentionally done this, and now rereading it I find it is effective. It makes it interesting.
I would like to see this without caps, I get what you mean by writing in caps, but it takes from the somber feeling of the piece and kind of screams the words.
I would also like to see punctuation, I know, I used to write everything without punctuation just because I was just trying to get my feelings out. Some of my poems are still posted in this way. But, it's a story you're trying to tell, and every little piece helps. The punctuation makes it seem like you're speaking it, not reading it scratched on a wall somewhere.
Sorry if I seem mean, I'm not trying to be mean. I really liked what you wrote, and it's just little things that I'd fix.
So anyways, good job and keep writing!
Hey great poem, I can totally relate to this one. I've written about love, what it means to me. Hopefully it's just for now, maybe later I'll learn otherwise
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Very good! I enjoyed this poem of yours. I review mainly dark and death filled poetry, because trust me, it's what I feel. I like relating to the people who write these things, it lets me know that I am definitely not alone. I always will be though! Haha in my head at least. I like to say no one understands but if you can write this, you understand. So thank you. Check out some of my stuff if you care for looking into my heart.
Great work and keep it up!
Very good! I can relate to these feelings, although my writing tends to reflect the most negative of my experiences. I thought this was written very well, good usage of words. I'm good at establishing a nice flow, but I'm not naturally very wordy, so I make do with what I have. Anyways, great job and keep it up!
Great job! I loved this poem of yours, it reflects my own experience in my job. I've written at times about the problems I have with my place of work. Anyways I just wanted to let you know that I throughly enjoyed it, great job. Keep it up!
great work here, I never thought much about writing as a career. It was always an escape, a hobby. Now I'm stuck working as a painter for a trash company. Thats why my "the company" poem ends with my corpse in a dumpster. I started out welding on dumpsters, fixing them. Now I paint them.
Work my life away and waste my brain and I never thought there was anything else. Now that I'm writing I'm finding that I might have more talent for it than I thought. thanks for the thought provoking material.
Great poem. Flows nicely and I like the subject. Death and darkness are a few things I'm very familiar with. Anyways, good job! Keep up the good work and check out my stuff sometime.
Ricky
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