The story idea is good and the characters are believable. I was confused by the beetle creature and wanted the ship to stay in orbit longer. I also think he should have tossed the crew member off the ship. A clearer allusion to the purpose of his mission could add to the mystery. It was a little reminiscent of Lester Del Ray -- good job!
Haha!
I liked the twist at the end. Its a good idea and needs to be explored more. I was ready to say that you tipped your hat too soon on the revealing of the machine relationship. Lisa should have a line or two. consider the strength of this line when you remove the word nonetheless. "He did not set out to love her, but he did love her nonetheless." Nonetheless is cliche and redundant. In this scenario, I would keep the message simple and strong so as to tap the powerful echo's that are just beneath the readers skin. I would give it a five but what's the fun in that?
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