Amazing. I was intrigued with the way you were able to hold the readers attention with the sense of mystery and tension of knowing what was in the silver box. Very witty, a type of twist in the piece that you wouldnt expect but really tied everything in.
Well Done
Great work. A very well based plot idea. The stroy so far is very well paced. i personally enjoy your chracterization, the way you allowed the charaters to express themselevs in order to allow the readers to find out about the character on thewir own.
Well done
Interesting. a way of expressing privalliged information in a very direct and satisfying way. Your basic layout had a way of drawung the reader in and giving them a way to relate themselves to you. I'm glad to see you are a writer that actually takes your readers into account as well as your own writing influences. However, keep your hands off Grissom, he's mine. (laughing)
Great gripping start. i love the intensity you have allowed the character oririon to have it really shows how he ties the entire chapter and story line together. the basic idea is very far fetched for me however you were able to express the idea with great fluency and insight.
Looking Foward to the next chapter
GREAT USE OF IMAGINATION!!!
i feel that this is a very creative poem that speaks on a very mind twisting issue. you theory is able to allow readers to think deep in thought about the topic that you have set forth. i can sense a hint of humor within the story, this makes it very enjoyable to read!
very unique. it is quite refreshing to read a piece that has its own or different background. very well thought out and planned. i love the basis on which you based the poem. a sponge, genius! when forming a transition from one stanza to another i can see that you managed to change your plot idea very well
WELL DONE!!
very well done. i love the comparisons you use to give a more descriptive approach to the poem. the hint of mystery within the poem has been put into such a way that it gives off information in a sequence. the message of the poem is delivered very well at a effecient pace.
VERY WELL DONE!
very moving! The main attribute within this is the way the reader is able to create a visual expression wihtin their minds. The passion i find in each line is very refreshing and yet you were still able to hold that sense of mystery until the end. very breath taking
WOW! this is such an aspiring poem. the feeling and emotions that are able to travel through the poem is amazing. i love the way you kind of guided the poem to a very plesant finish. the basis that the poem was based on is a drift in the readers mind. i have seen very few who are actually able to accomplish this.
Well done
EXCELLENT! this is really a great story with such a focused subject. believe me when i say i am not one that is easy to please! and this story has really given a gripping type of hold on the reader (me) very witty. it is very emotional without it being to sappy.
Well done
WOW! This is one of those stories that actually take the readers attention, grip it and never let it go. its quite thrilling. i would define this as a Sci-fi, but it seems you tend to drift into a fictional story. my advice would to stick with a sci-fi. for to me. its seems as though it is you "thing"
this is so inspiering. it is one of those things that actually make you stop and think. i have to say well done for it isnt just anything that can stop and make me think. i can see you were really able to desiphere each message that was given to you. i hope ot read more from you
I feel that this is a great oppotunity for for people that are willing to express there honest opinios to the public. However, i feel as though it should be more expaned to provide a better observing tool for writers not within competition entries.
turely a magnificent start. the emotions that your charcter feels is very much "alive" and controlled. there is a certain uniquness in the story that i liked. the way you compare your characters feeling to suach an intense degree. Most of all i enjoyed your whole concept. this is going to be a great story.
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