*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sgcardin
Review Requests: ON
4,057 Public Reviews Given
4,271 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
1
1
Review of Summer  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A poem dedicated to the upside of summertime.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

There was a good, positive, fun vibe about the poem that really captured the essence of summertime.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a variation of a sonnet with 2 four line stanzas ending in a couplet with a total of 10 lines. There is an ABAB rythme scheme in the stanzas and AA with the couplet.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read. If anything I might check WDC ML because I see a "{" at the start of the poem. And I might suggest increasing the font on WDC as it makes it easier to read here on the website.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Fresh cut grass, sea salt in the air, The talk and laughter of all that I hear" It's a very visual description and put the reader in the moment with the poet. A bit of a deeper level, these are the visual we expect of nature. This is the nature we enjoy and brings us happiness, these are the summer scenes that fill our hearts with warmth.


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader with a nice, light beat. The title fits the poem. Easy expression for a warmhearted season.

An Angel Army Review

FORUM
Angel Review Forum  (ASR)
Read, Review, Rate and Record all items read by the Army Angels.
#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


Review Signature
2
2
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A poem dedicated to finding love.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

Great heartfelt expression throughout the poem.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There are rythmes but no apparent rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Romance is a dance For it is “friendship set to music" The description is more of an emotional one. Implying romance is a dance, a dance has high points and low points, and yet the dance starts with friendship and grows. This is the type of description that invites the reader to go a little deeper on the meaning and not read it face value.


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening starts as a letter, with "Dear Love," implying a certain amount of intimacy and encouraging us to read more. The title fits the poem. Nice expression.

An Angel Army Review

FORUM
Angel Review Forum  (ASR)
Read, Review, Rate and Record all items read by the Army Angels.
#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


Review Signature
3
3
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A cherry tree can offer good memories or bad ones.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the poem told a story.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There is no set rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. I might suggest an edit for spelling. I think "mid" should be "mind." The poem is easy to read. I might also suggest using WDC ML to increase the font to make a bit easier on the eyes to read on the website.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "but I was always the rule follower, and you were always the pirate." This line sets more of an emotional tone, the poet is a follower and attracted to the pirate - the sense of danger, perhaps? The adventurous, untamed spirit, hoping to tame it perhaps?


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader, with a nice conversational style. In a way, the reader doesn't necessarily expect what is coming.

An Angel Army Review

FORUM
Angel Review Forum  (ASR)
Read, Review, Rate and Record all items read by the Army Angels.
#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


Review Signature
4
4
Review of Olympic warmup  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE ARTICLE

The article highlights the US Basketball team in exhibition play right before the Paris Olympics.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

The article touches on the highlights well. You get the flavor of what occured without the article being long winded.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is written in a very journalist style that is very matter of fact.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. I spotted just one spelling mistake. As written: "He set the tone." Should be: "He sets the tone." Good use of WDC to increase the font and space between paragraphs to make it easier to read on the website.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. It's a good recap. I would read more articles by this author.

An Angel Army Review

FORUM
Angel Review Forum  (ASR)
Read, Review, Rate and Record all items read by the Army Angels.
#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


Review Signature
5
5
Review of It's Classified  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

George wants his classified file, but the clerk isn't giving it up.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I loved the ending. It was solid and it made me chuckled.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the 3rd person limited from George's perspective. Past tense is used in the story.

*Star*DIALOGUE

There's a nice blend of dialogue and narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately.

*Star*OPENING PARAGRAPH

The opening paragraph put me right in the moment as George is asking for his classified folder. The opening paragraph offers a good hook.


*Star*CHARACTERS

George is determined. A little determination goes a long way.


*Star*FLOW & PACING

It's spot on. I was right in the moment with George.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not notice and spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make it easy on the eyes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

The title fits the story well. The author uses a good economy of words to tell a solid story. The ending lands on a light-hearted comedic beat. A nice vinyette with a touch of A.I.

An Angel Army Review
FORUM
Angel Review Forum  (ASR)
Read, Review, Rate and Record all items read by the Army Angels.
#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


Review Signature

6
6
Review of The Jewel Thief  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A poem about the poet's brother who is a jewel thief.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I loved how the story unfolded in a very lighthearted way.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There are 5 lines to a stanza and all the lines in the stanza rythme. There is a bridge line between each stanza.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read and has a nice flow when read out loud.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "I was offended by the suggestion that my baby brother was a jewel thief," It's the prompt for the poem. There's a lot of implication going on here. The poet is offended easy, the brother is a jewel thief. It tells a lot of story in just one line. There's a nice emotional undertone as well.


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader with a nice easy rythme, and keeps them reading. The title fits the poem well. Well done! Great storytelling.

FORUM
Angel Review Forum  (ASR)
Read, Review, Rate and Record all items read by the Army Angels.
#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

Review Signature

**Found the item posted on my newsfeed.

7
7
Review of Semper Fidelis  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A poem about the power of love.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the message, appealing to the Higher power as well as more 'human' type love.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is free form poem. There is no apparent rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Like a candle in the wind, so I get on my knees," This is in the middle of a shift of thought, but I think it hits on 2 things -- doubt about fading passion and a shift to appealing to a more? steadfast passion -- the love of God. It evokes a powerful scene and hints at deeper emotion.


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening draws in the reader well, putting them in the moment, and keeps them reading. The title is a great fit for the poem "Semper Fidelis" - Always Faithful. Heartfelt expression.

Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

Review Signature


** Found on my Newsfeed, recommended poetry read.

8
8
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE CROSSWORD

*Reading* This Crossword is "color" themed.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the premise of the Crossword. I searched Crayola colors and had a list of them, but I didn't do all that great. *Sad*

*Star* ENGAGING

The crossword had a lot of creative clues.

*Star*VARIETY

There were a lot of color choices

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The title and picture in the title is very enticing.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

My only suggestion would be to maybe list the answers in the introduction so as to jog the taker's memory. You could even use a dropnote. Fun and challenging.

Reviewed by StephB

IN & OUT
The Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive   (E)
JUL 2024 Contest is open! Submit your Campfire Creatives!
#1134192 by StephBee



A Queen Bee signature for the Bees at the Bee Hive
9
9
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE CROSSWORD

*Reading* This is a crossword about the American Health Care industry.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

Well, I thought I would do better than what I did.

*Star* ENGAGING

The crossword offers a lot of choices. The introduction has a nice graphic that sets the tone/mood of the crossword.

*Star*VARIETY

There were a lot of questions.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I thought the Crossword was unique, and the questions seemed easy enough. Suggestion only: Maybe putting the answers in the introduction would be helpful to the crossword takers? If they read the question and have an idea but aren't quite sure, maybe glancing at the introduction with the answer might be helpful? Suggestion only.


Reviewed by StephB
IN & OUT
The Best of the Rest at the Bee Hive   (E)
JUL 2024 Contest is open! Submit your Campfire Creatives!
#1134192 by StephBee

A Queen Bee signature for the Bees at the Bee Hive
10
10
Review of A.I.  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*

*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Ryan is on opposite shifts with his wife and turns to A.I. for some companionship. It could only go bad, right?

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the ending. Ryan's got something to hide with A.I. but the ending kinda teaches him a lesson in a good way.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person from Ryan's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

The dialogue comes in at the end and accents the narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked the description of Gal Pal A.I.
"She'll always remember your birthday and you'll never have to fret about forgetting your anniversary." She sounds like the perfect Chat A.I. The description is lighthearted and a bit tongue-in-cheek, but it's something that could happen these days.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: Ryan's home

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Ryan

Even though he's married, working opposite shifts takes a toll on him. He's easy to like and sympathize with. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the readers and keeps them reading. The story has a great conversational tone to it which makes the reading fun. A lighthearted story that will bring a smile to your face.

Image #1229001 over display limit. -?-

FOLDER
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
A group dedicated to promoting positive WDC spirit! Join us today!
#1188305 by iKïyå§ama
11
11
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

"Walking the Tightrope Blind" focused on spiritual, new age topics for the Bard's Hall Blogging Contest that made the reader think outside the box. The blog also supports the author's other blogging forums.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I liked the honesty and the warm hearted nature of the blog.

*Star* ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to engage. I posted often on topics. There were a lot of responses.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a variety of posts. Sticking with the theme were posts on coincidences, the power of prayer, ley lines, past lives, and more that I found very interesting.

*Star*EXPRESSIVE

The blog was easy to read.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more liberal.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I loved the introduction. Great use of graphics to help set the tone and appeal of the blog. You know what to expect. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Blogging Contest! I enjoyed visiting your blog. *Smile*

Reviewed by StephBee for the Bard's Hall Blogging Contest

Glowing Steph
12
12
Review of Christmas Feast  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A creative poem dedicated to a Christmas feast!


*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the use of the emoji's. I thought was very creative. The poem was light heart and made me contemplate what I would like for a Christmas feast.

*Star* STRUCTURE

From the opening: Form is Epulaeryu, required syllable count is 7/5/7/5/3/1. A Epulaeryu is a themed poem which is about delicious food and can be rythmed or unrythmed.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read - even with the emoji's.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

The whole poem is a description. In that regard, it's a feast of descriptions! Enjoy!

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening entertains the reader and makes them smile. The title fits the poem well. Nice expression. The emoji's make it work.


Image #2316186 over display limit. -?-
 
GROUP
Steph Bee's Bee Hive  (E)
Steph Bee's Home for Busy Bees and the Honey Pit
#1134558 by StephBee

13
13
Review of Ricefields  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*



*Reading* THE POEM

A reflective look back at work in the rice fields.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the tone and voice of the poem.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no apparent rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make it easier on the eyes.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "and my body bent like a young green blade" This is a great visual that one can imagine. A young person, full of health and vitality, working hard. It implies youth and vigor and a willingness to work.


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening invites the reader in using a youthful reference which keeps them reading. The poem progress through life in the rice field, harvesting, and then reflecting back. The title fits the poem. I enjoyed the progression through time and the reflection after the rice is harvested and I think a lot of people can connect with that.

Image #2316186 over display limit. -?-

 
GROUP
Steph Bee's Bee Hive  (E)
Steph Bee's Home for Busy Bees and the Honey Pit
#1134558 by StephBee




14
14
Review of Rice fields  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.


*Reading* THE POEM

The poem offered a stunning visual of a harvested rice field, putting the reader right in the moment.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

The poet used a good economy of words to paint vivid pictures of nature's wonders.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no apparent rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make it bigger for the reader's eyes.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "As I doze, they stumble between stubble, midst memories of corn,
wheat and beans."
I love the word play of stumble and stubble here. The poet is talking about words - perhaps the lack of descriptive words to describe the harvest rice field? The reader in turn can take the words in and let them ferment. There's time to consider and ponder. The poem is a good exercise in critical thinking. Your own interpretation is thus, your own, and for me, there is beauty in nothing if you're willing to see it.


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening invites the reader in with a stunning visual and keeps them reading. The title fits for the poem. I enjoyed the word play in the poem which invites as deeper meaning.

Image #2316186 over display limit. -?-

 
GROUP
Steph Bee's Bee Hive  (E)
Steph Bee's Home for Busy Bees and the Honey Pit
#1134558 by StephBee



15
15
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.


*Reading* THE POEM

This is a poem about the anticipation of a child.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the repetition of "tom-tom-tom" which was reflective of a beating heart.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no apparent rythme scheme. I liked how the poem was optically structured to accent the beat.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "the beating of a tiny heart, in a warm darkened place" The sentence is short and succinct, which helps to build the anticipation. It's also easy to visualize, a baby in the womb enjoying the warmth of the dark.


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader with the rhythmic beat of "tom". The title is a strong fit for the poem. The poem heightens emotion well.

A Bee Hive Review

 
GROUP
Steph Bee's Bee Hive  (E)
Steph Bee's Home for Busy Bees and the Honey Pit
#1134558 by StephBee


Image #2316189 over display limit. -?-
16
16
Review of First year  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.


*Reading* THE POEM

This is a poem about when fatherhood hits for the first time.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I loved how the poem caught poignant firsts of fatherhood.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a poem with 3 quatrains and a couplet at the end. There is no apparent rythme scheme. The couplet does a great job of rounding out the poem and bringing home meaning.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "First burp to rid himself of gas." It's an honest visual and that's what I appreciate about the scene. The joys and wonder of early parenthood include moments just like this.


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader with the repetitive "Firsts". This establishes a nice rhythmic beat to the poem, especially when read out loud. The title is a strong fit for the poem. Warmhearted and uplifting!

A Bee Hive Review

 
GROUP
Steph Bee's Bee Hive  (E)
Steph Bee's Home for Busy Bees and the Honey Pit
#1134558 by StephBee


Image #2316189 over display limit. -?-
17
17
Review of I am...  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.


*Reading* THE POEM

A poem about the depth and patience of love.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the honesty of the poem. The author is candid about the more complex facets of love.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no apparent rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Yes, life is a bumpy road with lots of ups and downs." For me, this was a heartfelt description of life's journey. It's a passage that connects. We've all had our bumpy roads in life.


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening is easy to read and that's what engages the reader. The title is a nice, reflective fit for the poem. I enjoyed the honesty of the poem.

A Bee Hive Review

 
GROUP
Steph Bee's Bee Hive  (E)
Steph Bee's Home for Busy Bees and the Honey Pit
#1134558 by StephBee


Image #2316189 over display limit. -?-
18
18
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Reading* THE POEM

This is a poem about building a love that would last.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the story of the poem grew and was glad to see a "happy ending."

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no apparent rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "I had walls built up against my heart." The poet uses a good economy of words to pain a vivid picture. In this case, the poet is reluctant to give so quickly. One must get past the wall.


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening lures the reader in and keeps them reading. The title is a strong fit for the tone/mood of the poem. The poem was realistic and hopeful.

An Angel Army Review

FORUM
Angel Review Forum  (ASR)
Read, Review, Rate and Record all items read by the Army Angels.
#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


Image #1229001 over display limit. -?-

19
19
Review of Ladybug Beach  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.


*Reading* THE POEM

The poem was about ladybugs.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the whimsical voice of the poem. It was very appealing and brought a smile to my face.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a poem with 5 quatrains and an AABB rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make it read. Nice touch.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Ladybugs are super fun, they like to sit out in the sun," I pictured a late spring day, summer on the horizon, and it's warm, and vibrant green all around. There's a clear water stream nearby and the scent of fresh cut grass is in the air and ladybugs are fluttering by looking for a place to land and hang out. It's a great visual and puts the reader in a lighthearted mood.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening has a nice rhythmic beat and keeps the reader engaged. The title is a nice fit for the poem. I enjoyed the warmhearted look of the nature that surrounds us.

An Angel Army Review

FORUM
Angel Review Forum  (ASR)
Read, Review, Rate and Record all items read by the Army Angels.
#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


Review Signature

20
20
Review of Thief of Hearts  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.


*Reading* THE POEM

The poem was about a "love" gone bad.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the repetition of "The cruel beast that stole her heart" and how it was placed in each quatrain.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a poem with 4 quatrains and an AABB rythme scheme. Adding a layer of complexity to the poem, "The cruel beast that stole her heart" repeats in each quartrain; it's the 1st line in the opening quartern, the 2nd line in the 2nd quatrain, and so on.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "The cruel beast who stole her heart," because there's a contradiction in that line. We have a cruel beast - evil and dastardly, and she falls in love with him. Is there something redeemable about him? I think all readers are attracted to the contradiction whether it be light/dark, good/evil, ying/yan etc.


*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening invites the reader in with a nice, rhythmic beat and keeps them reading. The poem has a good beat when read out loud. The title is a nice fit for the poem. I enjoyed the flow and rhythm of the poem. You find yourself rooting for the girl even though you suspect it might not end well. Good expression.

An Angel Army Review

FORUM
Angel Review Forum  (ASR)
Read, Review, Rate and Record all items read by the Army Angels.
#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


Review Signature

21
21
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE WORD SEARCH

*Reading* This word search is spring themed.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

It was a very fun puzzle. All the words were easy to find and I didn't get overly frustrated.

*Star* ENGAGING

The word search has words that match the theme well. Nothing seems out of place. The amount of words is spot on. There's enough to challenge you, but not frustrate you.

*Star*VARIETY

There were a lot of good choices that fit the ambience of spring.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set the tone for the word search, if doable. A fun word search that is entertaining and perfect for the season!


An Angel Army Review

FORUM
Angel Review Forum  (ASR)
Read, Review, Rate and Record all items read by the Army Angels.
#1188311 by iKïyå§ama

Angel Army Review Bear
22
22
Review of Katherine  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE POEM

A poem that speaks to the poet's friendship with Katherine.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the honest, candid tone of the poem. I could feel the respect the poet had for her friend.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. This is style of poetry where the first letter of a word or phrase is used to start the line of a poem.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to highlight the letters and I liked how the picture captured the concept of the essence of friendship.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "Testing the waters of courage and faith," This is a great description of how friends come together with shared experiences and the same or near temperaments in courage and faith. I picture friends sharing a challenging experience and emerging stronger in their friendship.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening introduces the reader to Katherine and keeps them reading, wanting to find out more. The title fits the poem. Feeling friendship is a really positive emotion that taps into respect and reverence which comes across here. Acrostics can be a challenge due to their limitations, but the poet meets the challenge nicely.

An Angel Army Review

FORUM
Angel Review Forum  (ASR)
Read, Review, Rate and Record all items read by the Army Angels.
#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


Review Signature

23
23
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*Reading* THE POEM

Life's reflections and observations on Crabapple Beach.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the personal tone of the poem. It invited the reader to take a peek at the poet's world.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem with no apparent rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "her first newscast to the world, with a sigh, as if saying, “I do,” -- Newscast here, implies a proclamation or an announcement, or even a commitment followed up with an "I do." There's a lot of emotion here, bubbling up and bursting out.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening invites the reader in as the poet walks down the beach and keeps them reading. The title is a nice fit for the poem. I enjoyed the inspiration the poet took from the beach. Nature has a way of stirring of the soul. That comes out in this poem.

An Angel Army Review

FORUM
Angel Review Forum  (ASR)
Read, Review, Rate and Record all items read by the Army Angels.
#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


Image #1229001 over display limit. -?-

24
24
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE ESSAY

An essay about a Boy Scout Flag retirement ceremony.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

This really touched me in 2 ways. I'm a US Army veteran having served between 1986-1997, and I was an Assistant Scoutmaster with Troop 2 out of Newhall, CA. My boys are both Eagle scouts and I led several overnight camping trips for the scouts. Yes, I'm a Boy Mom!

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by an unnamed narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* THEME

For me, I picked out the theme of Patriotism. The 4th of July is right around the corner and people are making plans to spend the holiday right about now. And I think, with that's going on in the world right now, all the conlicts and drama, bringing it home with a sense of patriotism will keep one grounded.

*Star* EMOTIONAL BEATS
How well does the emotional beat resonate with the reader? *Checkr* *Checkr* *Checkr* Great; *CheckR* *CheckR* Good; *Checkr* Okay.

*CheckR* *Checkr* *Checkr* The author tapped into a sense of pride and stirred up a sense of what it is to take care of those symbols which represent our nation.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font to make it easier on the eyes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening draws the reader in with their sense of reverence. If you ever get a chance to see a Flag retirement, I highly recommend it. It will strike a cord in you. As an Assistant Scoutmaster, I've supervised Flag retirement ceremonies at our Court of Honors and Webelos' overnighters. The writing is candid, honest, and sincere. A heartwarming, inspirational vinyette.

An Angel Army Review

FORUM
Angel Review Forum  (ASR)
Read, Review, Rate and Record all items read by the Army Angels.
#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


Review Signature

25
25
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

A young girl goes through a traumatic experience, taking her life on a very different turn.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I thought the ending really brought the story full circle and ended on a note of hope.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the 3rd person limited from Emily's perspective. Past tense is used in the story.

*Star*OPENING PARAGRAPH

A quote sets a hopeful tone for the story.

The next paragraph sets the time and place and puts the reader in the moment.

*Star*CHARACTERS

Emily was a survivor and it's that aspect that makes her relatable to the reader.


*Star*FLOW & PACING

It worked well to tell a full story.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not notice and spelling/punctuation mistakes. My only suggestion here, and it's minor and a matter of style - maybe increase the font a little to make it easier on the eyes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

The title hints at the story. The author uses a good economy words to tell a poignant story.

An Angel Army Review

FORUM
Angel Review Forum  (ASR)
Read, Review, Rate and Record all items read by the Army Angels.
#1188311 by iKïyå§ama


Review Signature

1,348 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 54 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sgcardin