This was a good poem. The wording was excelent and it flowed smoothly. I especially like your use of personification in the line "The darkness soon drowns out that dream"
This is a good piece of writing. I feel it would be better if you added it into a story though. It is a good poem but it seems like it would make an excellent story. Write on
The poem i feel is more of a base. Something you should build on. As i'm reader i'm wondering who is "he" why is he stalking her and what is the "game you mention in the third line of the third stanza. It is a good start but build on it and add some details like what she looks like
Overall i thought it was a good poem. The word you was used a few times too many. My favortie line was
when you run the race of life... i might not be there to match your speed
but when you fall down
to hold your hand and lead you further..i ll be there for you
I felt your wording was good and you had a solid base for this poem. Hope to read more
The story was sad, i enjoyed though how a happy day at the beach can turn into misery with just seeing one friend and learning that your friend/love has had an accident. I especially found it sad she never got to say good bye to him. Great Story Write on!
Overall it was a good limerick. But i feel you could've worded the last line a little better. Other than that i liked this and hope to read more work by you
This story was an overall good one although in the preview you misspelled a word instead of disiced it's deceased. But other than that one tiny thing and the fact that i'd like to know how H is it was a good story
This poem i felt was well worded, But I'd like to know did she die or are the just seperated by the world? The title though i felt fits this poem extremely well.
I dont know when I saw her
dont remember when I met her
but I remember every moment I spent with her
I was confused by these lines though how does he rember the time they were together when he doesn't know when he saw or met her
This story i thought was overall well written. It seems like you wrote this thinking of a pet you had in the past. I loved how you kept it on topic and not so long worded. I enjoyed the way the girl met the dog in the lily garden and named her after the flowers. I hope to read more from you
I thought this story to be very well written. I enjoy how you made the story flow smoothly and kept it on the same path that it started on. I do encourage next time you write a story this long though to break it into chapters. I say this so that the reader will not get bored. But other than that i really enjoy it and thought it was well written
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