Wow! Great story. It kept me interested the entire time. If this is your first story, I would sure like to see some of your writing in two years. I could not find anything wrong with your writing. I would like to see more of your stories in the future. You are a great writer, and I enjoyed your story very much. Keep up the good work.
What a cool modern twist on the old "Let them eat cake" theme. It was a well presented, and thought-provoking essay. I thought you did a great job with this very touchy subject.
There was one sentence that I felt was a little awkward. It is at the beginning of paragraph five. It says: "Gee, how did I never come up with that?"
It is the word "never" that caused me to stumble a little and take a second look at the wording. Maybe it is just me. But, if others remark on this wording, you might see how you can word that a little differently without changing the meaning.
Otherwise, I found it to be well-written, with no grammatical errors that I noticed (other than my thoughts above). I enjoyed reading it.
BTW: Great title. It is was what caught my attention and begged me to check your essay out. Great Job.
This puzzle had a pleasing mixture of easy and challenging clues. I feel it is an enjoyable addition to activities for vampire enthusists here on WDC. It was well thought out, and put together.
No spelling/grammar errors, and I cannot think of anything that needs improved upon.
What I liked best about it was the challenging clues that made me think. Great job!
Alora
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This was an interesting poll. I always wondered about the question of where WDC members are from. I really liked the poster of the rainbow, with its statement It takes all colors to make a rainbow. What a beautiful sentiment.
You gave plenty of choices to the poll takers, something I think is important when creating a poll.
I did not see any spelling/grammar errors, nor did I see anything that I would suggest for improvements.
What I liked best was the beautiful poster. Today it truly is a small world.
I enjoyed taking this quiz. You had it well organized, easy to understand, and plenty of multiple choices for each question. I would have liked to know which question I missed, though, so that was disappointing, not knowing the answer.
As far as spelling/grammar errors, you had several spelling errors that detracted from the professionalism of the piece, but not so bad that I couldn't understand the questions. But, I thought I should mention it, so you could go in there and fix them.
Overall, I thought it was a cool quiz. I am a fantasy person in general, anyway. Good job on the quiz.
I liked the idea of this kind of poll because that is a good question, why do we write? I felt you have the poll set up in an organized way that was easy to understand.
The one area I felt could be improved was your choice options. I had to choose other, because there was no option for why I write, which is because I can't help myself. I must write the way an artist must have charcoal and sketch pad. So, I feel that maybe you could expand your choices.
It was a very good poll, otherwise, and I enjoyed taking part in it. I love polls.
This was a good story. I enjoyed reading it. Sometimes facing your fears can make them go away. That had to be terrifying alone in the dark. We have hurricanes where I live, and the power can be out for a week or longer after a big storm, so I can truly appreciate your courage during that awful time.
The story was well-written, and I enjoyed it very much.
This was a sweet story of love at first sight. It had that temporary suspension of disbelief that we all need to truly become part of the story. It felt like it could really be happening to me.
Of course it didn't hurt, that once long ago, I really did experience love at first sight. Truth is stranger than fiction.
I thought you did an excellent job with your dialogue. Tell me, though, I am from the south so I was unfamiliar with the expression, "ya," for yes. Was there a reason you used the 'ya' instead of yes. I noticed you did it consistently throughout the story. So, I did wonder about it.
There was one typo that stood out, you had written the the girl, but when I went back and tried to find it, I couldn't, but it is in there somewhere. Sorry, I couldn't re-find it for you.
I really enjoyed the story. You are a good writer.
Goodness, what a plot twist! Matrix--eat your heart out. This story keeps your mind going just trying to keep up with your plot twists.
If there is any improvement to be made, I think it would be the ending. It was a surprise, and I am not sure it completely tied in to the main body of the story even though it did resolve everything. It was just a bit odd to me, and I feel it could have a much smoother transition. Of course, that is just my opinion.
As far as grammer or spelling errors, I didn't notice any.
This story brought tears to my eyes. It felt so real. Your main character felt like someone I might know and like. I hope you won the contest you wrote this for. It was that good.
As far as flaws or ways to improve your story, I am at a loss as to what I could offer in the way of suggestions as your story seems to me to be perfect as it is.
I would say you have a great future in writing. Keep up the good work.
Wow! What a great Story. The tension and emotions just grabbed you and held on. The exotic location. The star-crossed lovers. It had everything that make a good story unforgettable.
Best of all, there were no editing errors to distract from a great read.
I enjoyed every bit of it. Good Luck in the contest. Dixie
This was a realistic slice of life that is too often the way things are. You have captured that moment in such a way that I felt a part of the heart-wrenching reality check the narrator received. Great job!
You had very few editing errors that I saw, and it was minor ones such as this one--"She could her the voices behind her" (You had far less than I had my first piece)
Your ending was a nice twist. Good job on that!
You write well. I look forward to more of your work.
The imagery of your poem is quite beautiful. I especially the imagery I could hear, "snow crunching beneath my boots" Your poem was beautiful in its simplicity. It had a freshness I found quite appealing.
You did have a couple of mispelled words which detracted from your poem's beauty. Poem, beneath, and bitterness. However, these were merely editing errors which are easily corrected with a good spell-checker. All writers are constantly fighting with editing errors. Welcome to the club.
Your poem's inner beauty shone through to me despite the editing errors, and I enjoyed reading it very much.
This is a great beginning. Keep up the good work.
By the way--Welcome to Writing Dot Com. This is a great place. You're going to love it here!
This is a haunting story that will stay with me a while. It has so many layers to it. It is thought-provoking. The what could it have been's will keep my brain working overtime. Great job!
It was extremely well-written. You did an excellent job with this story. I enjoyed reading it.
I would offer suggestions for improvement, but I honestly have none. You're a great writer. Keep up the good work.
Now this was a delightful Christmas story. I will be smiling for a week over it. You made this story come to life with your images of your Monday Ministers. I enjoyed the way you gave a little character sketch of each one of them. I felt like I knew them.
I know I am supposed to give you advise for improving your story, but I couldn't find the least thing I would change about it. It was well-written. I didn't notice any spelling or grammer errors.
I thoroughly enjoyed your story, and look forward to reading more of your work.
Oh my goodness. You have captured my feelings and written them down. Empty nest syndrone is only a joke when you are talking about someone else. I especially liked your question, "What happens to ME when they leave?" That is my question exactly.
I think you did a wonderful job of capturing the feelings women face when suddenly their lives are filled with entirely too much time after being so busy you never noticed the time passing for the last twenty years.
I liked your upbeat ending, too. Your, "After all, it's never too late to change careers!" gave those of us with that suddenly empty feeling something positive to do with ourselves after the children have flown the coop.
Good job on this. If this is your first piece, then I have to say, Wow! Looks like you have found yourself that new career!
I don't normally like to review gloomy poetry, just because it is that--gloomy, and I am more of an upbeat person.
However, that being said, there was something so symbolic about this poem, that I really liked it despite its somber tone. The image of the cuckoo clock carried the poem to its only logical conclusion in the cycle of life.
Your imagery helped me see the life as it ticked along.
The last line--"...falls into the obscurity of some small, very square landfill." Told it like it was. I never thought of a grave as a landfill, but, I guess it really is. But, it did jar a little. I've tried to think of what would say the same thing a little more delicately, but can't think of anything. But it just struck me as a little off.
Overall, though, I liked the poem. Keep up the good work !
I just read your poem,Life. I think it is absolutely wonderful that you are writing, and I want to wish you a very warm welcome to the family. You are going to love it here.
I am no poet by any stretch of the imagination, but I felt you were trying to convey with this poem, Life has its ups and downs, but even when there are more downs than ups, there are better days ahead.
I really liked the imagery of your fifth stanza:
And sometimes life takes a turn for the better
Where rain drops get wetter
Roses get redder
And nothing's ever the matter
Sometimes it seems like everything in the world is brighter and shinier. But I could never have expressed that as you did.
You've made the first step of the beginning of a wonderful journey. I remember when I was so new here. Everyone just took me into their hearts, and now I feel like WDC is my home away from home. I'm sure you will, too.
If you will just reach out yourself, by reading and reviewing others, you will find so many new friends here it will be hard to keep up with them all. Kindness is contagious. You will see.
I enjoyed your poem, 'Life', and I hope to read more of your work soon.
From the bottom of my heart I say, Welcome to Writing Dot Com.
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