Hi , i loved the concept, it is so very true and many of us do look in the mirror everyday trying to figure out who we really are , which reflection of us is true .. and how can we show ourself . it is true not all are saints inside and like all people we are made up of our streangth , weaknesses and the demons that haunt us everyday of our life , taunt us for a meaning or a reason that we not not have yet in our life.
The poem really hits home . and i love how it made me feel that is what i mostly look in a poem , the feelings and you have really captured my emotions with your words and left me thinking and feeling about what you have written
Very beautiful and thought provoking poem.
Mechanics
Well I could find no spelling or grammar mistakes , but i think you need puctuation at some points , read it again and think about where there are pauses and breaks .and puntuate accordingly
Structure and Presentation
I liked the words that you used , very simple and perfect in term of the poem, well as I said above is that either use puntuations or line breaks where pauses and breaks take place that would make the poem better , at some point the poem did seem dry . use of metaphores , play around with words and phrases it will definitly make your poem a worth read
Tone and Voice
I liked the quite mellow effect of the poem , like glass it cuts deep without making any sound .. a very good effect
Imagery and Creativity
The concept of the poemwas very good , and a fair amount of imagery was used . but play around with words and images ..picture the image in your mind and potray it in words or may i suggest looking for some picture with the same theme as your poems and get ideas from there
Final Comments
I liked your poem, it was worth my time .. although i do have some suggestions but it is your choice to follow them
This poem has a very strong message , one shudders to think that this is actually what seems to be becoming of the world we live in
my favourite part of the poem was Hostility is screaming, "Fear and hate!"
Neutrality replies, "You obscure fate."
We conquer too much, we harmonize too little
Without our egos, this world would be simple
Mechanics
No spelling , grammar and punctuation mistake was noted
Great work
Structure and Presentation
I liked the easy flow and the rythm of the poem , the rhyme meter seemed well enough , i guess on the whole it is pretty good
Tone and Voice
A very strong poem.
Final Comments
It was a really good poem , i hope to see more of your work
first of all the first stansa kind of put me off and offended me I can’t help that I am but
Simply a poor female,
Frail in heart and frail in mind,
My body, too, is frail
If anything you have called a woman frail, that i might say is wrong , woman might have different biological factors but no where in the Quraan there is written that a mind and a heart of a woman is frail , actually since you have noticed woman tend to exceed more then their male counterparts academically,
hoever you have made a good point yes woman are very much treated wrongly , and the facts that you produced are right but in Islamic studies and in the refrence to Quraan, a woman is granted equality, dignity and rights but well its a different object when men and our religious leaders tend to take things wrongly .and abuse the woman they are meant to protect, cherish and respect
Pray tell me this, O God:
Is it You? Or, is it man
To this i might remind you it is not Allah who does injustice it is man and only man who is unjust, and before blaming or questioning Allah in any aspect we should see what we as human beings have brought upon this society "for what we sow is what we shall reap" (sorry if it is not entirely correct)
Mechanics
You have done a very good job on the mechanics , i could note no grammar or punctuation error
Structure and Presentation
I liked the easy flow of the poem, you have chosen the right words and used them well in the poem
Tone and Voice
A very strong poem with a strong message
Imagery and Creativity
I liked the cpncept of the poem, it was a straight forward poem with the right amount of imagery
Final Comments
I have mixed feelings when it comes to your poem , although it gave off a message and it is very well written but at the same time somethings in this poem kind of offended me and i have stated them above. but over all thankyou for sharing your thoughts with us . I hope to read more of your work
i liked both of your poems , very nicely written and such playful rhymes . i loved the items in the folder.i hope to see more items concerning this folder.
I liked the theme of the poem , the fact that you potrayed the darkness and feelings of depression very effectively, the scary thing is i can relate to it .
my favourite part of the poem is
As I lay down to sleep,
I try my best to count the sheep,
As the thoughts sound through my head,
I wish my mind would leave me for dead.
Mechanics
I could see no spelling mistakes , grammar errors nor puntuation errors
Good job
Structure and Presentation
The rhyme and meter of the poem was steady and i liked the easy flow and the fact that the flow never had a distracting break
Imagery and Creativity
The imagery was amazing , our words painted a vivid picture in my mind
Final Comments
A very good poem , beautifully written ...thankx for sharing this with us
A poem about giving colors to one's feminine emotions
My Idea About The Poem
I loved the poem , yes a woman's feelings are very intense, and to potray them with colors is an amazing idea , its like i could see variouse images flash in my mind while reading each and every verse
Mechanics
No spelling , puntuation or grammar mistakes noted
Good work
Structure and Presentation
I liked the steady rythm and easy flow of the poem , not once one is distracted by a break, or a weak flow.
Tone and Voice
The poem has a certain mellow and romantic tone to it , and it reaches out to the reader to feel the writers emotions
Imagery and Creativity
I liked how you potrayed the emotions through colors , a very well image that painted for us a vivid picture of the poem
Final Comments
Beautiful poem , very nicely written, thankx for sharing this with us . hope to read more of your work
I liked the poets thoughts , and the intense emotions, i liked that you used nature metaphore to explain your point , and the last question that you asked will anyone remember me? is the question most of us ask ourself
Mechanics
No spelling , grammar and puntuation mistakes noted great work
Structure and Presentation
The rhythm and meter seemed really good to me , an easy flow and rythm. quite nicely done
Tone and Voice
a strong poem , the tone is quite infectious . draws the readers attention
Imagery and Creativity
Great imagery , the image is beautifully potrayed and paints a vivid picture in the readers mind
Final Comments
Great work.. thankx for sharing this poem with us.. hope to see more of your writing
No spellings , grammar and puntuation errors noted .
Goodjob
Structure and Presentation
I liked the simple structure of the poem, Rhyme and meter was steady
Tone and Voice
A simple, and mellow tome to it ..kinda like a nursey rhyme really very cute
Final Comments
The poem was very cute , it made me laugh .. the truth be told , it was more like a nursery rhyme.. i mean it as a compliment.. very good work ..hope to see more of your work
A poem written from an elders point of veiw about teenagers
My Idea About The Poem
I liked the poem it did have a msg. but i think you'r veiws were a bit judgemental . its true that as teenager one forgets that one day he/she shall be an Adult but do we know how an adult feel .. no its becuase we have never gone through it .. so it is also true that an adult forgets what is like being in a teenage years and the pressures that comes along with it. and not all teenagers are mean and with bad morals
Mechanics
There was no spelling, grammar and puntuation mistake noted. Good job
Structure and Presentation
I liked the stucture and easy flow of the poem. I especially liked the right use of line breaks.
Tone and Voice
The tone is strong , you have used puntuations and the right words to express and demand the attention of the reader, Although i did find it a bit harsh but over all if you see i like the choice of words and the places where you stressed the right words. and that keeps the reader want to read it
Imagery and Creativity
Its a straight forward poem , no imagery needed here i guess.
Final Comments
A very nicely written poem, i might say excellent work. but the message was a bit harsh for me overall great job (e:thumbsup}
Although there was no spelling mistakes or grammar errors
But your poem lacked line breaks what makes up the poem
Structure and Presentation
I loved the nature metaphors that you used in the poem
but the poem lacked line breaks hich is something that brings a distraction to the rythm of the poem , my sugeestion is that you place a line break after every comma or a pause
Tone and Voice
A very sweet , romantic poem.
Imagery and Creativity
The poet has created a wonderful picture within the poem . great imagery
Final Comments
I like the feelings in your poem and the imagery is very good. loved it
poet's musing about true love and how it is mostly one sided
Mechanics
No spelling or grammar mistakes noted, but i did feel like pountuations were needed in some places but then it must be me .. but you should check it out
Structure and Presentation
Lovely stucture, i liked the fact that your poems do not distract the reader for the actual concept .
Tone and Voice
Romantic, sad and beautiful, i loved the feelings of the poem
Imagery and Creativity
I loved the imagery of the poem especially the part
Leaving me lost in heart-aching perplexion
With a love that burns true...
...but not in both directions.
Final Comments
Beautiful poem , and belive me when i read this poem i was like "been there, done that". and not everytime true love is one sided.
Overall you have done a good work with the mechanics but i did find a mistake in the 3rd line Ethereal darkness hold me tight, that I might forget the malignate sun's light{is that a word?)
And in the last line Bitter poisen, my sweet reprise, let us escape the coming dawn's rise. (you do mean "poison" right ?,i couldn't quite understand the use of this word "reprice", what is its purpose)
Structure and Presentation
Nicely written , steady flow but play with the line breaks a bit . use line breaks to serve purpose for pauses and comma.
Tone and Voice
A dark , forbidden tone ... good work on this
Imagery and Creativity
I liked the imagery best of all , a poem is all about creating an image and you succeeded in the details and imagery
Final Comments
Very nice poem , you have a lot of potential. thankx for sharing this with us My Ratings
a poem about lack of acceptance in people eapecially boys who are more into superficial eidolon of a person rather than than accept and love the personality and the essence of someone
Mechanics
Sorry I have to re write the form of the poem ..for please consider this suggestion .. although it is my suggestion but it is up to you
I'm still sitin here waiting, to be discovered
Me, the girlon the inside.
You know the one you left behind.
Still wandering
why a boy only likes a girl
For 36b size?
Why don't boys try to find
the girl lost inside?
Instead of the nice little body
that we have on the outside.
Can someone please tell me why?
Structure and Presentation
The structure needs work . use line breaks where comma is added or during a pause . that would create an easy flow of the poem
Tone and Voice
I nice mellow, slightly sad tone of the poem gives a good effect
Imagery and Creativity
It is a straight forward poem , I think no imagery is needed here because I guess the straight forward tone gives the right kind of effect to the poem, serves its purpose perfectly
Final Comments
A very nice poem , just correct it a bit and it will be a lot better, hope to see more of your writing....Write on and thankx for sharing this with us
I dont see and spelling mistakes , grammer errors nor puntuation problem. perfect mechanics accoding to me
Tone and Voice
It seems like a mellow voice , i kind of expected it to be strong and passonate like thunder itself but well it also seems like a beautiful choice
Imagery and Creativity
You have painted a wondersul picture with words . ascore for imagrey
Final Comments
Wonderfrul poem explaining the dangerouse and beautiful
An emotional poem about trying to be free and get out of the trap of dark emotions
Mechanics
There were no apparent grammar and spelling mistake, but your poem does need puntuations in a few places, to stress some sentences in a few places
for example: Inside my soul(use a comma or a line break) behind the bars,
Read the poem out loud and then see if you want to add puntuations or line breaks
Structure and Presentation
I think your poem needs line breaks , at certain points the example is written above , and again i loved the fact you used a caged bird as an example or a subject to explain the poetry
Tone and Voice
Your poem does have a Strong Voice , very descriptive and has an ability to reach out to the reader
Imagery and Creativity
I loved how you used an image of a trapped bird to prove your point of the poem , i liked the imagery and description
Final Comments
An emotional poem , close to perfect, it really did effect me emotionally and i think you showed a lot of potential.
THE POEM:
Dark, gothic poem about how darkness effects ud WHAT I LIKED ABOUT THE POEM:
I liked the steady flow and the concept of the pom , very well written
*thumbdown*WHAT I DID NOT LIKE ABOUT THE POEM:
None SUGGESTIONS:
None MY RATINGS:
COMMENTS:
Keep writing , Looking forward to reading more of your poems
Take care
Love, SirenSong
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THE POEM:
Seems like a poem about a fallen WHAT I LIKED ABOUT THE POEM:
The emotions and the concept of the poems are amazing
*thumbdown*WHAT I DID NOT LIKE ABOUT THE POEM:
None SUGGESTIONS:
None MY RATINGS:
Thankx for sharing this with us.
You have apoint about this , and the truth is this website has dont a lot for me , and we really need to work for some stuff like upgrades and Gps , and it helps us grow .
Thankyou for this site and this article
WHAT I LIKED ABOUT THIS PIECE:
Beautiful concept , raw emotions and words . and a true poem comming from heart WHAT I LEAST LIKED ABOUT THIS PIECE:
There were two sp mistakes
1. in the thrid verse "I wind shall be blow"
2. in the second last verse "Do not judge my heart" MY RATING: GENERAL IMPRESSION:
A nice emotional poem SUGGESTIONS:
As stated above FINAL COMMENTS:
Poem shows potential . Keep Writing :}
Good luck and Take care
love, SirenSong
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WHAT I LIKED ABOUT THIS PIECE:
Very beautifully written and i liked the steady rythm . the imagery is amazing WHAT I LEAST LIKED ABOUT THIS PIECE:
Nothing to dislike MY RATING: GENERAL IMPRESSION:
Very beautifully written and amazing imagery FINAL COMMENTS:
Keep Writing and WELCOME TO WRITING.COM
Good luck and Take care
love, SirenSong
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is that either use puntuations or line breaks where pauses and breaks take place that would make the poem better , at some point the poem did seem dry . use of metaphores , play around with words and phrases it will definitly make your poem a worth read
Love 
