Another incredible piece! I loved the ending, with the links to mythology, and the short nature of the sentances, lovingly mixed with soft - and yet so touching - long ones... it was beautiful. The description of the lake as a peaceful place adds just enough information to know roughly what it looks like, and then leaves it to the imagination of the reader to imagine the scope of it; I like that. It adds a bit of interactivity between reader and writer, and really allows you to go wild with your mind. The story was touching, and I love the way that the main character copes with David's death; towards the end, she has a very serene air about her. The only fault I could pick (and I had to read through it several times to notice this) is that - though I love the room for imagination - maybe there could have been a little more physical description of the scenes? I have a very good imagination, but some may struggle. Other than that tiny tidbit (which is mostly me flailing desperately at the very few errors in this, trying to grab something that would sound constructive), this is an amazing piece. I'm going through your Portfolio now, and you seem to be a very apt writer!
Keep at it!
This is an incredible short story; it has so many things that are good. For one, the storyline - an important thing in any work of fiction - is intriguing and well thought out. The description is beautiful - I loved the flying chariot part, and the way you described it as a 'shooting star' - and I also enjoyed the history to it. It would make a brilliant book. I struggle to pick faults, but am drawn to the sudden stop of the ending. Maybe it could have gone on a little longer, or maybe, the vision a little more described? But, other than that little fault, this is a brilliant piece, and I hope you continue!
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