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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/spidergirl
Review Requests: ON
1,184 Public Reviews Given
1,616 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I attempt a well-rounded review where I look at the item from a writer's and reader's perspective. I'll tell you what I liked and what I think could be strengthened. I like to think I'm a courteous and helpful reviewer.
I'm good at...
attention to detail. If there's a typo, I'll find it!
Favorite Genres
Sci-Fi, Horror, Mystery, Thriller, Drama, Satire, and more
Least Favorite Genres
Romance, Religion, Sports
Favorite Item Types
Short Stories, Poetry, Essays
Least Favorite Item Types
Novels (I just don't have that much time)
I will not review...
There is very little I won't review. Try me! *Smile*
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
1
1
Review of Ill-Timed  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi AliceLvs2Write

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


To say I was shocked at the end of the story was an understatement! I had the same reaction as the main character: "WHAT?" *Laugh* Well done!

Intriguing mystery! I hope this is part of a larger work so I can find out what happens next!

Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


Maybe this was intentional, but the main character changes the pronouns she uses when talking about the mysterious woman. She calls her "she" a few times, then "they" and I just wasn't sure why she would switch it up. I know she said she thought the person was a woman, maybe she wasn't sure, but then maybe she could have used "they" consistently instead of changing from she to they and back to she.



My Rating


4.0 - Great story! I'd love to know what happens next!


Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Seventeen Deaths  
Review by spidey
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi PureSciFi

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Interesting sci-fi mystery! I liked how this felt so other-worldly, but I could also easily connect with it.

I loved the interrogation scene!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



Walking down a long constantly curving corridor, Lemmok and Pavicca nob as two different Alien races talking to each other walk by them.
I think there might be a typo here "nob" *Right* nod


I remember leaving Commander Windime and Pavicca after telling them what I had been able to find out with these deaths, and I was walking down the Corridor next to Command Central. The next thing I know I was waking up here and asking what happened.”
I think this section of speech is missing a quotation mark at the start.




My Rating


3.5 - It's tough to flesh out a story when there is a word limit, but I felt like I wanted a little more description of the setting and maybe what the characters looked like. Some of the dialogue felt a little slow to me or maybe not quite necessary. Again, it's hard to do with a limited word count, but I'd love to read more stories in this setting!


Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review of The King's Man  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi LightinMind

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


I liked the intrigue introduced here! You've done well to set the scene and the drama/mystery here! I felt like there was a perfect amount of detail to set up the story. I had a good background and felt like I was in the scene.



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


To me, this story felt like part 1 to a larger mystery! I'd love to know what happens next! I hope you continue writing!

I also felt like the characters weren't fleshed out enough, though that could be because of the word count limit. They had such common names that the two main characters sort of blended together for me, and their boss was just called, "the boss." I don't remember reading his name or a description of him at all. I think I would have liked to have a more detailed description of the characters.



My Rating


4.0 - Good story! I enjoyed reading this!


Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review of Detectives  
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi THANKFUL SONALI Now What?

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Great writing! I loved this line: "the sleuths, who had no mystery about appetite and thirst, fell on them like a pack of puppies." And this one: "What would they tell their colleagues at the next meeting?" *Laugh*

A very cute story with a great message! I thought this was very well-written and I enjoyed reading it!

Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



I found no errors!


My Rating


4.5 - An excellent children's story/mystery. I enjoyed reading this!


Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review of Patterns  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi debmiller1

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


I really liked your opening paragraphs. I'm not sure if the main character is possibly autistic, but I am, and I identified with his perception of the world and fascination with patterns.

I felt this story was very captivating and powerful. I like your choice to tell it from Eric's point of view and through his experience of what happened. I think it was very effective!


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



No suggestions, I found your writing to be clear and powerful.



My Rating


5.0 - Excellent story! I really enjoyed reading this! Thanks for sharing!


Sincerely,
spidey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sumojo

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Great opening paragraph! It really captivated me and brought me right into the story. I felt it set the tone for the story really well.

Great descriptions, too! I could really "feel" and "see" what was going on in the story.

I enjoyed the message of this story and its relation to the prompt. Great parable!


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


I believe this story should have a 13+ rating due to mild references to illegal drugs and alcohol.

I found no errors, and I have no other suggestions.



My Rating


5.0 - Excellent story! I enjoyed reading this!


Sincerely,
spidey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review of Tower Moment  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Author Ed Anderson

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Okay, this story left me with so many questions, which was probably intentional! Well done!

Great writing. I was pulled into the story immediately, and I had a clear image of each character throughout.

Great interpretation of the prompt!

Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



"Stop making fun of this, it's incredibly frusdtrating and disorienting,"
Just a typo, "frustrating" is misspelled


My Rating



4.5 - Great story! I enjoyed this! Thanks for sharing it!

Sincerely,
spidey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review of Why just me?  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi LightinMind

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Great opening lines! It immediately brought me into the story and made me want to know what was happening!

Wow, this is a really powerful story. Great imagery, description, and emotion. It was really powerful throughout the entire story, started and ended strong. Great work!


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



"Maybe it isn't hell."
I think "hell," as in the place/location, would be capitalized

Now I could make out a shape, a hint of grey that gave an outline, something was moving on the other side of me from David.
To me, this read like a run-on sentence. Perhaps a semi-colon between "outline" and "something" or a period with "Something" starting a new sentence?

"Captain, good to hear you with us, sir, what do you think is going on?"
Another run-on sentence. Should be a period after "sir" and "What" to start a new sentence





My Rating


4.0 - Great story! For me, some of the writing could have been cleared up, some minor errors, but overall, I enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing!


Sincerely,
spidey


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review of Silent Wave  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi debmiller1

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


What a clever interpretation of the prompt! I've recently become friends with an ASL interpreter, and in talking to her, I've realized that the default a lot of people have is thinking that people who are deaf lack communication skills, but it's often people who don't know sign language that lack communication skills, too. I remember taking ASL classes when I was younger, but I think it could be a good thing to teach all folks!

Well-written and clear. I enjoyed reading this!


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


I have no suggestions for this. Great story!


My Rating


5.0 - Excellent story! Thanks for sharing this!


Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review by spidey
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi PureSciFiPlus

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Clever interpretation of the prompt!

Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



Walking over to the almost done window blinds,
Maybe this is a regional thing, but I didn't understand the "almost done" phrase. Maybe you meant "almost down?"

But when James doesn’t come and gets it,
I think "gets" should be "get"

James goes leave the living room
I think this would be clearer if it were written something like, "James goes to leave the living room"

I had some trouble following the story at times. Maybe it was just me, but I had to go back and read a few paragraphs to clearly understand what was going on.



My Rating


3.5 - I liked your response to the contest prompt! Thanks for sharing your story!


Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review of Imagine  
Review by spidey
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi fyn

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Clever story! I liked your response to the prompt! I was wondering where it would go, because it seemed an impossible task, and I liked how it ended!

Well-written! I could follow along easily, and I could feel every emotion the main character was going through.

Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



A young, male caucasian awoke
I think "caucasian" should be capitalized

there haves always been oppressed peoples.
I think "haves" should be "have"




My Rating


4.5 - I enjoyed this! Thanks for sharing your story!


Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review of Min  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Sumojo

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Wow, what a powerful story and a great interpretation of a difficult prompt! This is written very well and is likely to have a strong impact on all readers. Well done!

Great descriptions! I felt like I was in the story with the character, particularly when she arrives at the city.


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



There is a cacophony sound, of different dialects.
I feel like the word "of" is missing between "cacophony" and "sound"


It has been three years since I travelled back to my village.
I was confused by this line, because I thought she travelled away from her village, not back to it?




My Rating


4.5 - Great story!


Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
Review of The Prophet  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi LightinMind

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


I love how you incorporated our website (and yourself) into the story! I think a lot of current writers shy away from technology and websites in their writing, but I like to see it!

I definitely feel like you've created a nice, rounded out character in the story. I can "see" who the person is, what their motivations are, etc.


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



He built houses, did electrics, laid pipes in fact just about anything that required manual skills.
I felt like a break could be used between "pipes" and "in fact" To me, it ran together and was slightly confusing until I read it a second time


I did also wish there was slightly more description of the settings and the physical characteristics of the characters involved. I loved the bit about the lavender plant, that added a very nice touch! I guess I had a hard time picturing the characters a little bit. I know you were also limited by the word count, but maybe if you rewrite this in the future? I don't think it made the story hard to read or anything, though.


My Rating


3.5 - I enjoyed reading this! Thanks for sharing!


Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Beholden

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Great story! I really enjoyed reading this, and what an interesting anti-hero!

To be honest, I had a similar thought while reading, "Why would hermits be having a convention?" *Laugh*

Great ending!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


The only thing I would suggest is possibly changing the rating to ASR due to mild derogatory words ("poop" as an insult and "stupid")

Other than that, I have no suggestions! I really enjoyed this!



My Rating


5.0 - Great piece! Thanks for sharing!


Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review by spidey
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi PureSciFi

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Interesting story! I love sci-fi, and I enjoyed the world you've created here! You've done well to create a gripping, thrilling story that keeps the reader guessing. Well done!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



The last one causing Montan to lose his balance.
This is not a complete sentence

I quickly ran up to him, and slide under him,
Change in tense. "ran" is past tense, "slide" is present tense. Tense changes throughout story

Just then they stop mumbling to each other to face me and Montan. It’s one of the female Leaders who spoke first.

"stop" is present tense and "spoke" is past tense



I can't help but think that this piece feels like a scene within a larger work. There were timesi I felt a little lost, which isn't necessarily a bad thing! It left me wanting to read more to find out the whole story! For me, the grammar and tense shifts took me out a little, but it was a good read overall.


My Rating


3.5 - Good work! Thanks for sharing!


Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
Review by spidey
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi Author Ed Anderson

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


I really felt for the main characters, and I also couldn't agree with all of their actions. Excellent job on creating a good anti-hero!

I wasn't really expecting the ending, but it was somehow very fitting. I liked the complexity of the story, the depth to the characters. Well done!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



I found no grammatical errors. Great job!

My only suggestion would be to perhaps add more to the setting? I wasn't sure what kind of place the story was set in. Not a huge thing, and I know you were limited with a word count, so it's hard to add a ton of background info.


My Rating



4.0 - Good piece! Thanks for sharing!

Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
Review of Deadline  
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi Angelica-HappyFather'sDay!

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


I liked the character names! It let me know immediately that this wasn't quite the "typical" story. Great job!

Well done on creating an anti-hero the reader will root for! You've done really well wit the prompt!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


The story shifts tense a few times. For instance:
Then she looked up at the clock. Two hours left before she needed to leave for work. The project is far from done.
"Looked" is past tense, and then "is" is present tense. It made me pause while reading, and I think it could be clearer if it's consistent.



My Rating


4.0 - Good piece! Thanks for sharing it!


Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review of The Jersey Escape  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi RobertJ

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Cute story! I was drawn into this story right away and couldn't wait to see where it was going.

Great description of the setting! I grew up out in the country, and I could really see and feel where this was taking place. Nicely written!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



For me, the spacing stood out. There was nothing wrong with the spacing, but it was a bit different than typical spacing for stories on the internet and Writing.Com.

The last paragraph is in italics, and I think there might be a broken tag there to end the italics.

Jersey ran right up to jack,
"jack" should be capitalized.




My Rating


4.0 - Nice story! Thanks for sharing it!


Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Graham B.

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Awesome descriptions! Immediately, you draw the reader in with your descriptive words. I could really "see" the setting (and smell and feel, etc.). Very well done!

What a great story of loyalty and protection! I wasn't sure how this was going to end, and I wasn't disappointed at all. Nice choice!

I loved the names the main character has for the other characters! Great touch!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


I found no errors/typos.



My Rating


4.5 - Great story! Thanks for sharing this!


Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review of Pete and Jay  
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi Prosperous Snow celebrating

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Cute story! I like that the ending was unexpected.

For me, it felt a bit short. I think I really enjoyed the lighthearted tone of the story, and I couldn't help wanting more!


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



On morning, in early spring,

A typo, I think. On should be "One"


I think I would have liked a little more of the story, more development of the relationship between the two characters and perhaps more setting or even more of the "Grandma" character.


My Rating


4.0 - Cute story! Thanks for sharing it!


Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
Review of Pocket Monster  
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Than Pence

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


Interesting story and I liked the main character's pets, especially that you have his thoughts in the story. It added a neat element that draws the reader in, I think. Well done!

I liked the progression/evolution of the main character in the story.



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



Am I embarassaed in front you, Gizz?”

I think this is a typo, it should be "embarrassed"



My Rating


4.0 - Interesting story! For me, it felt kind of nostalgic because I grew up playing Gameboy Advance, too! Thanks for sharing!


Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi PureSciFi

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


What an interesting sci-fi story! This was really intriguing and captivating right from the start. Well done!

Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


I found it strange that the group would wait to figure out what they know and don't know about the planet as they arrive. I get that the information needs to be conveyed to the reader, but I would have thought that they'd do research before they landed on an unknown planet, so they'd know if it was hostile or not. Just my thoughts.

I thought some of the dialogue felt a bit unnatural, especially the young girl. Maybe it fits the story and the world you've created, but it felt a bit out of place to me. Just one readers thoughts. *Smile*



My Rating


4.0 - Good story! Thanks for sharing!


Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review of Cockroach Cameo  
Review by spidey
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi THANKFUL SONALI Now What?

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


What a unique idea - a writer cockroach! I really enjoyed reading this unique and well-written tale! You do really well to draw the reader in and make them feel a connection with a character that they might not normally want to feel connected to! *Laugh* Very well done!

Great story and ending! Loved it! I really enjoyed reading this.

Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



I found no errors.


My Rating



5.0 - I couldn't think of a single suggestion to make. Thanks for sharing this!

Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
Review of The Awakening  
Review by spidey
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Myles Abroad

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


I thought this story was really cool! It felt like I was getting a glimpse into another perspective of our world, one that hadn't occurred to me but made a whole lot of sense! Well done!

Great clear writing, very descriptive and powerful. It drew me in and made this a joy to read. Great job!


Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.


I have no suggestions. I really enjoyed this!



My Rating


5.0 - I try really hard to think of suggestions when I review, and I couldn't think of one here. Great story! Thanks for sharing it!


Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
Review by spidey
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi 🌕 HuntersMoon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest. Thanks for entering!



Overall Thoughts


I really enjoyed this story! There was such a strong bond between the dog and its owner that really came through in the story!

Great ending! I'd love to know what happens next! Maybe you could turn this into a series!

Clear, strong writing made this a joy to read! Well done!



Suggestions
These are just my thoughts. Feel free to use or disregard these as you see fit.



allowing the recipient to feel the eand perhapshe sender
typos in this line, I think



My Rating


4.5 - I really enjoyed this entry! Thanks for sharing!


Sincerely,
spidey



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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