I was captivated by the story until the end, which disappointed me. "You're not going to believe this" seemed so prosaic and cliche. Other than that, I enjoyed the descriptions, the setting, and the character. There were a few extra words that jarred a bit -- like "blinked his eyes" -- what else would he blink? Don't answer that, could be anything in sci-fi, but still, not needed here.
Good premise, definitely needs a better conclusion.
Great action and it flows well. However, I found it hard to believe that a first person boy narrator would use the language he does. I thought the narrator was older and female at first. The many descriptive words made it hard to hook this up with a young teen boy: Grouched, dissuaded, disgruntled -- they are all great descriptive words, but were jarring for this narrator to be using. Also, it's always better to avoid using adverbs. The tone of the speaker should come through without them (impishly, sternly).
Your overall premise is engaging and left me curious about this world you've created.
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