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19 Public Reviews Given
19 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Remember  Open in new Window.
Review by ß Samantha ß Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Dear Exodus Author IconMail Icon – Welcome to Writing.com. I am glad you are a part of this amazing writing community now. I enjoyed reading "Remember" Open in new Window. and thought I would give your poem a bit of a review.

What I Enjoyed

We live in an age when “feelings” are taking precedence in how people make their decisions. However they may be viewed by those who take reason as the ultimate way to deal with issues, or calculation as the only way to meet life’s challenges, feelings are core to how judgements will be made for a long time to come, as this experiential philosophy is ultimately passed from our youngest generation living to the next one. Your poem goes to the most exquisite of bright sides to extol the benefits of human emotion. Instead of using the worn out phrase my parents employed “get over it!” you pass on the “wisdom of Solomon” by expounding on the ways of nature and the natural wonders around us. Well done.

Some of My Observations

I was most touched by this phrase in your poem:

”And the birds,
Who sing even in the rain or cold
Can make you feel young,
Instead of old. ”

The perfect example of nature helping live life beyond the things that make us grumpy and short tempered.

Suggestions

I appreciate the work that you have done bringing together the images needed to convey your point. The rhymes are good and the tempo and pace of the poem are pleasant.

My one suggestion would be to continue with the images to make your ultimate point “who have to stand tall just to survive”. While your point is one I agree with it, some might not. This phrase is serving two purposes and unfortunately may be perceived as too editorial. If you continue to appeal to the deepest feelings of your audience instead of giving them a reasonable conclusion, I believe your audience will agree with your point of view more readily. Just a thought.

I thank you for sharing your gift and for finding a creative way of challenging my selfish pity parties that can go on too long. Tonight the party is about rejoicing in the good things I have enjoyed. Bless you! *Smile*

*Flowerw* ) Samantha ( *Flowerw*
*Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb*
03.13.20



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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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2
2
Review of The Night Sings  Open in new Window.
Review by ß Samantha ß Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*LeafO*  Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window. *LeafO*


Dear DoctorWizard Author IconMail Icon – Welcome to Writing.com. I am glad you are a part of this amazing writing community now. I enjoyed reading "The Night Sings" Open in new Window. and thought I would give your poem a bit of a review.

What I Enjoyed

The alliteration in your piece was tantalizing to the ear and made your writing vibrant and alive.

Some of My Observations

For me the line with the strongest image and meaning was:

”Momentary music magically makes the masses malinger. ”

Some moment has a sound that is like notes of magic and makes a wonder happen outside of the every day. Like something going viral on Youtube, something almost inconsequential and yet has great appeal for the masses that they stop what they are suppose to be working on and stare at their monitors in disbelief. If someone said even thirty years ago that that would be possible they would have been laughed out of the village.

Suggestions

There is a lot to adore in this poem and it is a style of writing that tickles the fancy all the way through. My only suggestion would be to rework some of the lines so that there is a bit closer relationship between what is modified and the action that is taking place. For instance in the first line, which is very clever, the actual meaning is blurred for me. Can “swelters” actually “slow”?

Swelters of Summer slows to a simmer.

I understand without much help from the line that the experience is like being a pot of water set on high heat, then turned down too a low one, but the word “steamers” though not as soft sounding as “swelter”, “summer,” “slows” and “simmers”, might bring a bit more clarity to the opening scene.

I enjoyed “The Night Sings,” with its jaunty gait and easy going flow. It was a great lark! Thank you. *Smile*

*Flowerw* ) Samantha ( *Flowerw*
*Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb*
03.13.20



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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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3
3
Review of Just a Drop  Open in new Window.
Review by ß Samantha ß Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Dear JustAnnie Author IconMail Icon – Welcome to Writing.com. I am glad you are a part of this amazing writing community now. I enjoyed reading "Just a Drop" Open in new Window. and thought I would give your poem a bit of a review.

What I Enjoyed

The energy in your descriptive phrases immediately drew me into the story. I am mystified by the images not knowing who the main character is, but intrigued that the finish will reveal all. O how I am not disappointed. Well Done!

Some of My Observations

As I become aware that who I am in this poem is a flaming something, I am super charged with the image

” Rising up the spout of the mountain,
The gases we once contained fly free.
Faster, faster! We all scream, ”

I think I enjoyed these images the best.

Suggetions

Your poem is excellent in every way for me, my only suggestion would be to delete the lines:

Our excitement builds as we go farther up the mountain,
We've been waiting so long, 10,000 years to be exact.

It doesn’t have the active imagery of your other stanzas and by this point in the poem is too much narrative and not enough punch.

I am delighted and overjoyed to experience the life of molten magna. What a rush! Thank you for the ride. *Smile*

*Flowerw* ) Samantha ( *Flowerw*
*Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb*
03.13.20



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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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4
4
Review by ß Samantha ß Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Dear Nightstory6 Author IconMail Icon – Welcome to Writing.com. I am glad you are a part of this amazing writing community now. I enjoyed reading "Fatality of Progress" Open in new Window. and thought I would give your work a bit of a review.

What I Enjoyed

The progression of time and invention comes to us through your marvelous prose inviting the reader to enjoy the comfort, acts of discovery and innovation have wrought. The progression is easy to understand as the highlights of hearth and home move from the cave to modern day apartments and condominiums.

Some of My Observations

The leaps you take across time are well done. It is a bit jarring on the first read, but on the second read, I am able to relax and enjoy the ride. I especially enjoyed the phrase:
”I can keep the old, but now with coal, the labor is less for me
A newfangled stove, to heat and cook, with its round cast iron belly ”

The image is almost jovial as the modern convenience has to have a place of honor and high praise indeed.

Inspirational Thought

What has the defeat of all the elements cost mankind? Are we really prepared to investigate the whole cost?
”Just flip a switch, or push a remote, and the heat is hot or mild.”

Not tonight, for we flip a switch. But wait there is no response.
I had to laugh hard at the end of your piece as one viewing an electronic age with no electricity may as well be staring straight into another ice age!

Suggetions

What you have created seems very complete and did not seem to require any edits. Nicely done.

The humor in your piece caught me unawares and made the whole journey from age to age a surprising delight. *Smile*

*Flowerw* ) Samantha ( *Flowerw*
*Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb*
03.12.20



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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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5
5
Review by ß Samantha ß Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Dear Soul mate's call Author IconMail Icon – Welcome to Writing.com. I am glad you are a part of this amazing writing community now. I enjoyed reading "One Day We Will Meet Again!" Open in new Window. and thought I would give your work a bit of a review.

What I Enjoyed

I especially liked the interjection of verse in your piece. It added some visual impact and gave a wonderful layer of sound to your piece that could not be produced in any other way.

Some of My Observations

You have a genuine heart in your writing that beckons your reader to consider the full cycle of life.

The phrase: ”… it never stays the same and the people whom without we cannot imagine living just disappear in the air… ” We do have friends and family that may seem to disappear. O that they would just be in another dimension.

” Still, we try to survive when in reality we want to meet them (die)” I like that you added the thought of being on the other side of this life where we may be reunited with those we love.

Inspirational Thought

You suggest in your piece that we appreciate those who are kind to us. Would that we indeed could do this. I applaud your call to take action. It would be a shame to always wait for others to focus on us.

Suggetions

This is a good first draft. There are some mechanical issues that would require a bit of editing that go beyond the scope of this review.

For example: ”We love to hang out with them, laugh with them, share our stories with them, may sometimes gossip too.”, might need to be rewritten as: “We love to hang out with them, laugh with them, share our stories with them and sometimes gossip with them too.”

I would also suggest adding some personal examples of the kinds of losses you have come through or ones that your parents or friends have endured. Concrete examples help fix in your reader’s mind the value of what your words are expressing.

You do have a wonderful gift for expressing your understanding of life and the challenges we all must face. *Smile*

*Flowerw* ) Samantha ( *Flowerw*
*Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb*
03.12.20



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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon


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6
6
Review of My Story  Open in new Window.
Review by ß Samantha ß Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Inspirational Writers Guild  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Emily Author IconMail Icon – Welcome to Writing.com. I am glad you are a part of this amazing writing community now. What a wonderful biography you have begun. At least I hope it is just the beginning. Everything about your five paragraphs is compelling. I enjoyed your writing very much. I am glad to know so much about you through this loving tale about yourself.

What I Enjoyed

There is a lot to enjoy in this biography. Meeting Connery, your special friend, and a few of the moments you share in this snapshot of you, was fabulous. Your way of developing “Nurture” as a character of importance in your biography, was a stellar piece of creativity. I will remember something special about your adoption, long after this experience with you, because of how you introduce the mighty “conqueror” in your life. Also, I enjoyed the extremities to which you took the differences between the stereotypical Asian, that probably should have been you, and the All American Girl you have become. I was a bit troubled about much those stereotypes are imbedded in how I perceive Asian youth, but that is more about my biography than yours. Some areas where I could use some character development for sure!
By the paragraph where you proclaim your adoption, I am your friend, and I suppose that is what I enjoyed most about your biography. It is a warm, funny, lighthearted exploration of an area of your life and who you are that readers may wonder about if they knew you personally and you have openly shared something so deeply personal one can’t help but be drawn to the person you are now and will be in the future.

Some of My Observations

Where your story begins is the key to this piece. You have chosen a place in time where there is action and drama and it moves the reader right into a personal account of who you are. Even in the first paragraph there is a hint of who you may be in the future. Stable, fun, athletic, appreciative of the odd occurrences in life that make the world a brilliant and exciting place to live.
The phrase: ”My mom went to buy water and came back with three waters and a random woman…” is a funny notion. What would we expect from a water run but a mundane…”I had to stand in line forever!” But even this moment you have included in your tale is far beyond the mundane and is a beautiful glimpse into the level of exposition you are willing to give your readers.

I laughed out loud (on my second reading of your piece actually) at your opening sentence in the third paragraph ”I am not crazy, definitely not rich, but I am 97% Asian. I break all the stereotypes though. I am not destined to be an aeronautical engineer or an analytical chemist, and I don't think my future career is in a nail salon.” Is there truly anything in the middle? Again, you have nailed my propensity to view my own culture to be the one and only and view others at the far extremes of what I may consider success.

Inspirational Thought

You have a wonderful, uncomplicated way of looking at your world. While you may have your “off-moments” with your mom, you have focused your piece entirely on the way you have come to excel in life. If you are truly the one seeing that everyone else is having fun then I could truly recommend this article you have written to other readers as a joy and tonic for whatever might be ailing them.

Suggetions

Everything that you have had to say about yourself in this piece is uplifting, caring and supportive I believe to most of us who have had challenges with our identity. I believe you open up not just the clear resolves you have obtained in life to live on the side of the “chosen child”. I think this is the most powerful, optimistic message for this day and age. Many children could benefit from this message and I would love to see this article developed into some bigger. I think there are a few minor edits for punctuation in the piece, but that is not something I am able to advise on as I am nearly blind and blocked in that area, but actually it does seem very well put together technically to me.

So, whatever you may not be, you are a great writer. You have taken the everyday and made it a pleasant visit for the soul. Thank you for sharing your gift. *Smile*


*Flowerw* ) Samantha ( *Flowerw*
*Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb*


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7
7
Review of AUTUMN (1)  Open in new Window.
Review by ß Samantha ß Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Inspirational Writers Guild  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Maria Mize Author IconMail Icon I enjoyed your writing very much and would like to share a few of my impressions.

What I Enjoyed

I can feel the stirrings of a most lovely season in your poem "AUTUMN (1)" Open in new Window., each image awakens a fresh love for this season (coming soon I hope!!) *Leaf2R*   I appreciated the design you gave to the poem’s outward appearance. It has an inviting look to it.

Some of My Observations

The tone and style of your writing, the word choices and the easy flow all work to make me feel the wonder of summer transitioning into fall. The verse that sums up the movement from one place to another is a wonderful picture of leaving the cabin at the lake, or the lodge in the mountains.

Suggested Edit/Revision ▼

Inspirational Thought

Changing seasons speak clearly of the transition that we experience in our heart and soul. I read in your words that the change has a deeper significance than moving from an easy chair on a porch back to the big city. Something more ominous may be up ahead. A long winter. This was a wonderful poem to meditate on and relive over and over. Thank you!

Kind Regards,

*Flowerw*) Samantha (*Flowerw*
*Flowery**Flowery**Flowery**Flowery**Flowery**Flowery**Flowery**Flowery*


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#1990737 by ♫~ Kenword~♫ Author IconMail Icon


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8
8
Review by ß Samantha ß Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Wind**Wind* *Flowerr*  This Review Is Presented by A Proud Member of the Angel Army  *Flowerr* *Wind**Wind*



Dear WakeUpAndLive~"HoHoHo" Author IconMail Icon I enjoyed your writing very much and would like to share a few of my impressions.

What I Enjoyed

The narrative and description of the main character’s feelings in your story "Dance me to the end of love" Open in new Window., are beautifully written. Everything the woman feels for her man is exciting and easy to visualize and relate too. The underlying feeling that something awful is going to be seen is held in check by the woman’s complete abandonment to adoration of him. For a moment I even believe it actually may turn out well for her.

Some of My Observations

The staging, scene development and characterization all work together to draw me into the story. I am so glad for the protagonist’s fortune in love I suspend my anxious feelings for a moment and enjoy her great passion for her man.

Suggested Edit/Revision ▼

Inspirational Thought

I am staggered at the end of your story. I know I have nearly had the woman's destructive feelings before. But I guess I screamed them away. Knowing that it does happen, that there is no other way sometimes is chilling. A well crafted story. *Grave*

Kind Regards,

*Flowerw*) Samantha (*Flowerw*
*Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb**Flowerb*

Merit Badge in Inspirational W G [Click For More Info] Thank You For Being The Rock & The Light For The Guild During the July 2016 Game of Thrones. You are the Best!! Love - Your IWG & Fellow Underwriters!!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon


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9
9
Review by ß Samantha ß Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I am interested in becoming a member.

Please sign me up! *Smile*

Thanks

*Flowerw* ) Samantha ( *Flowerw*


10
10
Review by ß Samantha ß Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Inspirational Writers Guild  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon I enjoyed your writing very much and would like to share a few of my impressions.

What I Enjoyed

I enjoyed how you employed nostalgia to explain your current yearning to do more with your minor obsession. Loving tea is just a minor obsession…right?

Some of My Observations

You added to your prose elements of sights, sounds, tastes and aroma that engaged my senses fully in your piece. Well done.

Inspirational Thought

I have gone on long journeys for a minor obsession – and one full blown obsession. Believe me it is more than worth it! *Smile*

Thank you for sharing your gift and talents.


Kind Regards,

*Flowerw* Samantha *Flowerw*




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11
11
Review by ß Samantha ß Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Inspirational Writers Guild  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Dear Thesilentowl Author IconMail Icon I enjoyed your writing very much and would like to share a few of my impressions.

What I Enjoyed

I like how well you have set your story up. The main character is amusing and easy to hang with and his awkward relationships with the people in his world around him are funny. He is easy to identify with and he is quick to draw me into his world.

Some of My Observations

The whole world of the protagonist is out of kilter. Rain, castle, maid and how he is to spend his night present a number of quandaries. I liked that the story is told from the past. As such the reader can easily get that the action has passed. In the third paragraph you did have one slip into the present tense. I would make the word “rocks” into “rocked” to keep the story in the same tense throughout.

Inspirational Thought
I am awkward in all strange situations so felt sympathetic for your main character. Everyone else seems self assured and makes his awkwardness really stand out.


Thank you for sharing your gift and talents.


Kind Regards,

*Flowerw* Samantha *Flowerw*


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