From my perspective you have a real talent for creating this art form. There are two things that I can imagine coming from this work of your that will last for ever.
I could imagine walking into a very upbeat art space and firstly seeing lots of people standing and staring at something on the wall. It is a giant printout of this work of yours. The people are all reading it and taking what they will.
Secondly I can see a whole exhibition wall committed to your style of work. Of course the works are yours. And there is an auction taking place and they are bidding for each work of prose art.
Exceptionally well done.
I cannot always comment on the correctness of a piece, because my English is not perfect. But I comment on what I see and feel.
Take care - I hope this inspires you to try this new and inventive idea.
What a beautiful and totally unexpected twist at the end. I never saw that one coming. Your style here is magnificent. The short sharp sentence structure suits this format exceedingly well.
The thought that you put into this work is very evident. I can only rave on more and more, and all the while I'm still chuckling about the twist.
Wow. I loved your work. I find warmth when someone can express thoughts clearly as you have done. I'm not rejoicing at tradegy, but rather in the fact that you/someone can explain clearly either what goes on or what it felt like.
I pick up hikers all the time, and in my own way I feel that I am taking them out of harm's way.
Your poem brought a new reality for me to consider. Thank you.
My heart was breaking as I read this story. I have heard this story in others many time before, and I can only have nothing but empathy for the sufferers and those loved ones of theirs.
I cannot fault this work because it is so poignantly real and honest. To change anything would be to deny your memories and expressive emotions - I have no right.
Thank you for sharing this with us/me.
May the memories of the goodtimes flow through to strengthen you and all others.
I appreciate works like this immensely, because you have expressed the words that I want to say. I have a heart that has been giving for years and years. I feel hurt sometimes when it is not reciprocated.
However, in your work here I had received back ten-fold plus, because, I can now put into words the joy that I feel in giving to others.
This work is superbly written, from my understanding of what is being spoken about. Your style captures the desperation of a truly trapped person. Then it moves onto the release. Thoughts are woven into this piece that describe the horror and then release seen and and felt.
I would like to see a break in the work between being down and then finding the way out. This would, to me, lift the work that much higher.
Wow. This piece is hard hitting with honesty. Being a transgendered person I can relate to it totally. Maybe its that that draws me to offer my support to people. From this work I feel that you have honestly stated you feelings and thoughts in a very understandable way.
Brilliant.
There are a few spelling and gramatical errors, but with careful editing these can be eliminated.
Please keep up this honest style. It is not offensive, but rather draws everyones attention to a fact of life that some of us must go through.
Take care.
May the great shalom be with you and your partner.
I am partly laughing and nodding with acknowledgement, at this wonderfully constructed piece. Your style is great for this type of work. One aspect I appreciate is that although the discussion gets heated slightly, there is no absuive comments coming from either party. That means a lot to me
The way that you broke this work up into sections adds to the authenticity and overall connective flow.
I totally followed this work throughout its unfolding. Being a parent helped me understand in a personal way, the agony of Mum in the story. To top it all off the dream came true, and she was able to be there for her children.
Your style is great for telling this type of story in this format, and I would suggest that you do another in this manner. I think there are people who are in need of this supportive understanding and you can give it to them.
I love the aspect of reading lots of short and poignant pieces, and thoughts on this subject. Too often one person re-iterates used thoughts that are driving people mad with repetition. However, here there is a wide and varied view. I'm especially bacause the compliment each other to make a wonderful whole.
This style is spectacular.
Take care.
Miriam.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tgmiriam
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.09 seconds at 9:15am on Dec 18, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
