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2 Total Reviews Given
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Review of The Way I Hide Me  Open in new Window.
Review by writingaffair Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hi tinedanxer,
This poem had come to my attention after looking endlessly to read something satisfyingly good. I took attention that this site considers you a "newbie," which I assume means you recently made your account, therefore I am a newbie as well. Regarding your work here, I think you are creating a very strong start. I personally like the line which says "Don't be glad you came here." The tone and voice is spot on, good job.
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Review of Paradox Man  Open in new Window.
Review by writingaffair Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (2.0)
I would suggest a different into, not necessarily the entire first paragraph, rather the first sentence, though I understand that can be difficult. Maybe try changing your sentence type more often and completely, you have the basis down. I typically use long sentences with detail to make the reader better understand the time differing or what's going on. This story definitely is not bad, though needs work. I have to be honest with you, it was difficult to read the dialogue in this. With editing and more practice, I believe you would be a great writer. You have the talent. (:
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