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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/zoomsqrd
Review Requests: OFF
51 Public Reviews Given
53 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I look for continuity between the characters, plot line and interest of story.
I'm good at...
Being honest and fair. I will tell you honestly what I think about your piece. I think works and what doesn't. I am very fair.
Favorite Genres
Memoirs, mystery,science fiction,and poetry. Mysteries also.
Least Favorite Genres
Historically based romance novels
Favorite Item Types
Books that have some underlying message. A message that I need to find the meaning myself. I don't like being spoon Fed the material.
Least Favorite Item Types
Really easy reads.
I will not review...
I will review any genre. GPS you don't have to send them. I learn more from reading a review. I enjoy reading anything. Thank you for allowing me to learn as much as I can from reviews you can trust me with
Public Reviews
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Review of Family  Open in new Window.
Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Jacky,
Initial thoughts: Overall I found the story interesting. I enjoyed the family discovery.

Character: The character were presented in an orderly fashion.

Plot: I liked the plot. I thought it ended a little to quickly and I wanted to read more.

Grammar: No obvious errors.

Overall thoughts: I enjoyed your presentation. I would have liked it to continue.

Keep up the good work.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
INITIAL THOUGHTS: I was pulled right into your short story. I loved it. I love dark and suspenseful.

CHARACTERS: Your characters weren't the focus for me it was more the setting and plot.

GRAMMAR: No problems noted

PLOT: As I've said previously I loved it.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: Great story. I would really like it to continue.

Keep up the good work. Z


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
INITIAL THOUGHTS: I enjoyed your short story very much. It touched a nerve as my parents were also teen parents from a very small town. My parents were different from your story selfish, self centered with Dad attending University getting many masters and phd's. My mom shopping and bitching. Divorced when my sister and I were 6 & 8 yo I can totally relate.

CHARACTERS: Identifiable

PLOT: The plot is interesting and easy to follow. Good pacing.

GRAMMAR:Once you are more familiar with how to post your work you will learn indentation, paragraphs that makes it easier to read. Also it's a good idea to put quotations on separate line. This also makes it easier to read.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Good job. I enjoyed reading your story. Keep up the good work and remember to have fun. Z


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of Good Morning  Open in new Window.
Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi! Thank you for sharing your upbeat cheerful poem. I enjoyed it as I am a morning person. The content is good and the flow too. Good job. Z


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of GOALS!!!  Open in new Window.
Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
All I have to say is more power to you. I admire your drive and determination. It inspires me to reach my goals. Z


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of The Debt  Open in new Window.
Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I found your story on review request. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

*Check2* Overall Impression:A cute Christmas short story. I especially enjoyed the ending. If I could be so lucky.


*Check2* Plot:The plot was well written and easy to follow. I do wish that you would have included a little more details. It would be nice to get to know the character a little bit more.


*Check2* Style and Voice:I liked how it came from first person.


*Check2* Scene/Setting:Work was a setting we can all identify especially during busy times.I could feel her stress.


*Check2* Characters:As I said earlier I enjoyed the character however, would have liked to get to know her better.


*Check2* Dialog:The dialog was easily understood and followed.


*Check2* Grammar and Mechanics:There is just one thing I would like to say about grammar. The sentences were a little long and I found myself wanting to take a big breath before the end.


*Check2* Suggestions:


Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!Z


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of The Light  Open in new Window.
Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Blake, I thoroughly enjoyed your story. I was captivated from the first few sentences. The content reflected subjects that intrigue me. I really enjoy when writers delve into the human psyche and what makes a person a person. What makes us tick? How can we improve our human experience,what does it all mean etc. You kept me engulfed from beginning to end. I found myself thinking about what I felt inside and for a writer is very powerful. Thank you and keep up the good work. Z


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I enjoyed your poem. I read it aloud two times and found the words to flow. The content appeared to be personal in nature which made it seem very intimate. Considering that brought the poem to life for me. I could relate my own life experiences with what you wrote. Keep up the good work.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Kiwi! Let me apologize for not having this reviewed by 1/9.

A fantastic beginning! I was hooked at the first sentence. I found it to be interesting and very well written.

I look forward to reading your work. Z

The grammar looked good. Nothing major.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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10
Review of A Senior's Poem  Open in new Window.
Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I can relate to the poem with understanding and support. I enjoyed reading your sophomoric poem. I am impressed by the fact that you were in high school when you wrote it. I am a beginner at poem's both their composition and underlying meaning. I enjoyed both concepts with your poem. Keep up the good work. Z


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
11
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Review of My Friend (At 8)  Open in new Window.
Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Geoff, first let me apologize for being a day late in getting this to you. I read it a couple days ago then re-read it really slow to give you an honest impression.

1st Impression: I really like the story idea and can't wait to read more. The first two sentences had me in hook-line-and sinker. I honestly believe you have a very good story in there.

Content in itself: I found the content to be interesting and enjoyable and if I want to read more I can tell it is good content.
Interesting how the memories of a man are formed. What he felt when he was eight comparing it to what it fells now and looking for meaning. Am I on board with what your goals are for the piece.

Organization/flow: Geoff while being an interesting beginning chapter 1 seems a little choppy,which makes sense if they are fragmented memories like it says in the second chapter. I believe you could combine some of those sentences so it flows a little more smoothly. The rest of the paragraphs are not choppy but flow well together.

Grammar: I did not see any serious grammar mistakes at this time.

Please e-mail me if you have any questions. Good luck with writing this, let me know when you write more. Z
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Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
HI AND WELCOME. I FOUND YOUR POEM TO BE INTERESTING. I TOO SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IT FEELS LIKE ST TIMES. BRING ALL ALONE AND NOT DARING TO SPEAK OUT. MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT A CURSE AND YOU CAN'T CATCH IT. I TRULY HOPE I AM ON THE RIGHT TRACK WITH YOUR POEM. IF I AM NOT PLEASE LET MR KNOw
THERE WERE SOME GRAMMAR MISTAKES. HOWEVER, I BELIEVE I DID OK WITH JUDGING YOUR WRITING. THIS POEM COULD'VE BEEN MADE INTO A SHORT WITH MORE INFORMATION PROVIDED.

GOOD JOB KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. TAKE CARE OF YOU.Z
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Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Lynda, I enjoyed you story very much. You did very in showing me what was going on. I felt like I was there with all of it from the beginnng to the end. Your writing put me right in the center of everything. Like I was standing there watching everything while no one could see me. My heart began beating faster when the bear showed up. I was scared for both of them. The sense of loyalty I could feel and understand. I trust in Jesus was what came into my head when the main character was asking for God's help. I knew He would take care of everything and the ending would turn out the way is was meant to be. Thank you for the inspiration on this Sunday Morning. Z
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Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Fran, your writing profile covers much about your writing goals and where they originated. You are sincere and honest ready to take on anything. That shows in your profile as you state what you expect to get out of the class.

Good luck and have fun.
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Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
HI- interesting poem. I will begin with whether I would tell other people about it to read. My answer yes. I found it to flow nicely from stanza to stanza when read out loud you can feel what the different characters are experiencing. I like toy use of "of all's Orson Wells" that small entry brought back to the previous entries which allowed me to. Connect the imagery of the poem.

Keep up the good work.
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Review of Phoebe's Story  Open in new Window.
Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Wow Zodiac, your story makes me want to read more. I can't exactly say where I wanted to keep reading but I did. If I were you I may begin with this coke is shit line and then begin defining the character's. That would definitely pull me in. I like how you begin to get into characteristics of the players. I also like the separation of time. I do want to know more about what happened in the 80's and I bet that is part of your plan.
Grammar that is all I am going to say about that. Mine is atrocious. Here is a free web site I came across for help with grammar. Http://Lessons.English grammar101.com/English grammar101/Introduction.aspx I find it to be easy to understand and fun. Some things are even coming back to me.

I like the story premise I only read things through twice which I did with yours if I am intrigued. Good luck and keep up the good work. I will be happy to review more.
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Review of On Reviewing  Open in new Window.
Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your newsletter on reviewing came to me at the perfect time. I have been struggling with giving helpful constructive criticism. I read what I am reviewing
Out loud and several times through. I get nervous reviewing sometimes afraid I may step on toes. Your article helped me to be constructive without being cruel I really enjoy reviewing as I learn as much from the piece I am reviewing as I hope they do from me. Thank you for your help with the review process.
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Review of One Wish  Open in new Window.
Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I was drawn into your story from the first sentence. I couldn't stop reading until the end. Then I read it again. I am impressed with your presentation, how you presented the reading. Keep up the good work. I will be following your progress. Side note I am very happy you survived what could have been a tragedy.
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Review of About My Ratings  Open in new Window.
Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing your reviewing techniques. I found it especially helpful how you examine each part of the piece separately. I am going to use this with .My reviews. Thank you again.
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Review of Lucid in the Sky  Open in new Window.
Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi I hope this finds you well. I just read your poem titled Lucid in the Sky. While I enjoyed the writing as a whole. I must be honest that I don't understand the theme of the poem. I really liked what may have been better in a short story genre. Try is it next time. Just a simple suggestion. Keep on writing. Take care. Email me if you have any questions or just want to take send me one. Tamara.jar@hotmail care.
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Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Your Grandmother sounds like a very special person. I enjoyed how as you grew as an individual your feelings and love for her grew and changed. Welcome to the newbie group. You will learn a lot. All of us have something or someone in our families that make us feel different. That is what makes us who we are.
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Review of Anxiety  Open in new Window.
Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I found your poem Anxiety to be very revealing to myself as a person. "Stranded here in my head"reminded me of the way I may feel at times. Well written with a good flow from stanza to stanza.
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Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thank you for sharing. I am interested in some of the titles. Which one was your favorite and which was the most helpful? Let's talk about writing books sometime. I have many and am just getting into poetry. Zoomsqrd
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Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I enjoyed your poem. Well written with a smooth flow from one stanza to the next. Reminded me of my trip to Portland OR a story in itself maybe I should write it lol. Thank you for the memories. Zoomsqrd
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Review by zoomsqrd Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Where I live we have a huge homeless population. I volunteer for several institutions aimed at helping the population. The saddest are the children. What is even sadder is that many of their parent's are addicted to drugs and they don't want help. However, help starts with just one person to begin to see change good luck with your association.
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