Fat Cat for Sale - A Journal Entry

Author's Note:A few years ago (before my small trip to hell), Haizey and I used to go on these lil rides thru our town. In one of my older journals I wrote this entry about one of our trips... I'm glad I saved it. Haizey, this one's for you woman! Love ya!

From a journal entry in "Delirious and Scattered"
Enjoy!

Title: Fat Cats for Sale... $19.99 each

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, I'm sittin at home, a bitch of a fuckin toothache, fucked up day at work... the usual jackasses and....

~there's a knock on the door~

And it's Haizey

She wants ta know if I wanna poof n' ride...

and I'm kinda not really in the mood...

(imagine, me - not in the mood for a poof.. christ, what's next?)

and Haizey says.. "it'll make ya feel better"... and she gives me that Haizey look....

yeah, you know the one...

and I couldn't resist... so off we went...

cruising..

we switch off... she does the labor (????)... then we switch back... if you've got a mental on this...

Give me a "HELL YEAH"

and we cruise... and ya gotta love it... cause we're singin out little asses off... and then, it starts...

I say somethin', Haizey giggles... She says somethin'.. I giggle harder.. and before ya know it, we're doubled over, drivin down the road, which is JUST what happened....

And we're a block from my house.. and this....

cat

is by the side of the road...

a big cat...

and I giggle, cause I know she's gonna say SOMETHING....

And she looks at this cat, and she says,

"Now that's a FAT cat... and I want it."

I tell you... I haven't laughed that hard in a looonnggg fuckin time man. There was absolutely NO sound coming out of my mouth.. none, not even air.

And HAIZEY? She actually had to completely STOP the truck.. cause she was laughin so hard, she was almost paralyzed... she couldn't even MOVE!!

And we catch out breath.. and get to the house...

and we're sitting,

and talking,

about this sign up at the biggest of the churches in our town that says,

"Iraq - Armageddon?"

Yeah, it actually says that dude

and we was talking about my change in habits, and what I DON'T do anymore.. and the subject of partying came up...

and she said something about we might as well party, cause it's almost armageddon....

And I laughed, and my reply was something to the effect of... Yeah, guess we should party like it's 1999...

And we busted again...
we couldn't help it...

And now, here I am, writing all this down for you to enjoy at our expense. Please take a moment now to wipe the pepsi from your screen, and the popcorn off the keyboard.

Thank you....

This has been our show for this evening...
Have a safe night.
We love you Haizey!!!!!!!!