Sammy The Wanderer Job Application

Person
Address
Anytown, USA
To Perspective Employer

I am writing on a friend's stationary as he is letting me camp-out here for a few days. My name is Sammy Levinsalor better known as Sammy the Wanderer.

I have wandered all over the world and have held many positions in sales. I last worked for The Associates in Pensacola, Florida in their leasing division. I leased a fleet of vans or trailers (600) to McCormick Truck Lines. It was the largest lease in the history of Associates. I donated most of my sizeable commission to fund research on the migration habits of the Monarch butterfly. They are my favorite and I have run into a lot of them in South America during my wandering.

Please don't confuse me with Wallace or Wally the Wanderer. I am Sammy the Wanderer. I was once invited by a prince in India to wander there. You see there are a lot of people like me and places to wander in Northeast India. I had a head cold and couldn't make it as my prescription for gout had run out. I will wander there one day maybe. I speak seven different languages. Thank you. I am not afraid of heights or barking dogs. I don't like Salamanders for some reason. I have nightmares about them.

I read in the paper that your company is looking for a sales representative. This job includes benefits and a company car and expenses paid. I want none of these. I only work on straight commission and sell in large quantities primordially to Fortune 500 Companies. That's where the big bucks are. Then I collect my commissions donate a chunk of it to a local charity and continue my wandering.

I have an extensive collection of Italian suits, shirts, shoes, etc. So don't worry about body odor or my appearance. I do wander in cut-off Levis and sandals smoking a pipe. I bathe daily when working at fast food places like Ruth's Chris, Captain D's, etc. I never bathe when wandering because it detracts from who I am and what wanderers everywhere believe in. Good deal. Please!

You are probably wondering why a good-looking well educated guy like me wouldn't settle down. The answer is my ultimate goal is to be a discoverer. I just havn't found a place or my niche in that field. You see I am Sammy the wanderer.

Please get back to me c/o of the person above and to the address on this letter asap. I never know how long I will not allow myself not to wander. I am Sammy the Wanderer. Call collect if you wish during the hours of 8 am CST and 5:30 pm CST. This is when this kind gentleman works. So you see time is of the essence.

Thank you in advance for this job. Sales records will be set and you will not be afraid of me till I am gone. I see blue lights and hear bells sometimes and once I swallowed a live Goldfish. No problem! I'll do it again if given the chance. I am Sammy the Wanderer hopefully soon to be your number 1 salesman for a short period of time and then I really hope to become Sammy the Explorer. Doesn't that sound nice. Here I'll say it again Sammy the Explorer.

But for now I am sincerely yours Sammy the Wanderer,



Sammy Levinsalor
Maker of Millionaires
Wanderer of choice of The President of New Guinea
Phone-1213-456-7890
Fax-234-856-xxxx