Not Just a Kiss

Not like a kiss from your boyfriend,
Girlfriend or mother,
Not the kiss from your grandparents,
Your sister or father,
Not a kiss from you relative,
In Christmas season,
A Kiss from a good friend,
One with good reason.

It helped me through troubles,
And with only my one angel,
I had to tell you,
To turn the tables,
With only one angel,
The fallen from grace,
I didn’t have much hope,
No faith left to chase.

I told myself I had to-
Admit my true feelings,
And tell you my dreams,
Tell you of my lust and my longing,
And I felt from the inside,
It helped me most it seems,
That you would accept my words- and take them to heart,
As if you knew from the start.

Not a kiss from you grandmother,
On your forehead,
When you’re stuck at home,
Sick and in bed,
Not a kiss from your grandpa,
When you catch your first fish,
He gets so excited for you!
And he buys you a nice chocolate dish.

In my sleep I can see you,
You’re just standing there,
But then you come towards me,
And fiddle with my hair,
You run your fingers through it,
And caress my flushed cheek,
You pressed your body to mine,
Your figure- so slim and hair so sleek.

Not kiss from your husband,
On you wedding day,
When all seems perfect,
In the most brilliant way,
Not kiss from that special person,
When you’re down on your knees,
Palms sweating and ring in hand,
Staying together and staying happy.

In my illusions,
We dance in the rain,
My eyes glazed over with feelings,
That makes me insane,
You’re almost brunette; yet dirty blond hair,
Damped down to your face,
Just the very thought of it,
Makes my heart race.

Not kiss from you sister,
On your graduation day,
A gesture of love left on your cheek,
As if to say,
I’m bidding you goodbye,
But I hope you’ll remember those memories,
Of great and fun filled joy; playing in summer with our new toys,
That we spent as little kids- moments not to be forgot.

In my imagination- I’ve tried to tell you already,
I steadied my hands as they trembled and shook,
My heart beating wildly in my chest,
I took you off to the side where we were alone,
At the Halloween party,
But I got interrupted- And you answered someone’s call,
You came back and asked me to continue,
And all you got was a- Its nothing, nothing at all.

Not like the kiss you give your new baby,
Such delightful bundles of joy as they may be,
So small and innocent,
Mind and souls not yet corrupt,
Body so petite, fragile and young,
Soft cries can be heard,
As if asking the world,
What have you done?

As I watch you on days,
When you don’t know I am,
I feel your eyes burning into skin,
My face will get hot and my vision gets blurry,
I watch him touch you- and my veins fill with fury,
Then Id blush uncontrollably,
And you’d ask me what’s wrong,
And Id answer- Nothing, its nothing at all.

Not a kiss from your cousins,
When your uncle dies,
When it seems all hopes lost,
From others eyes,
When you feel he has left you,
As if he really doesn’t care,
That he left questions unanswered,
Even though he’s still there

I know that I cant tell you,
Because you’re my best friend,
And I feel if I told you,
It wouldn’t be like this ever again,
It seems now- that if I forget you completely,
My life will get better,
But I know that I cant just forget,
I don’t want a long life- filled with regret!

Not at all like a kiss,
When you first meet that one person,
They take up your hand,
And plant a ticklish greeting,
One you’ll never forget on such peculiar meeting,
As small as it is- you cant ever dismiss it,
For its like the graze of a butterflies wing,
In the mist of a morning in the middle of spring.

I’ve seen this dream more than once,
Its nothing but a long and narrow road,
I don’t know where it ends- or where it goes,
But I can see a dim figure along ways away,
Its got to be you! Is all I can say- all I can hope for- all I can pray,
I brake out into a skip; then a jog- then I Run!
And all I can do is anticipate you will be there,
when all is said and done.

Not like the kiss you give your new puppy,
The last present your parents give you on your 12th birthday,
Even though they said no- and you get so excited,
When you see it with its big red bow,
You start to jump at down- and kiss its small head,
You name it something you’ll never forget,
Like Sabbath, JP, Zorro, Poncho, or Pepper,
Hoping and praying they’ll be there forever.

When I see you tomorrow,
Ill remember my dreams,
Wishing and wishing that would be how it seems,
When you touch me so gently and it heats up the skin,
When your breath tickles my ear- and I need you right then,
When it seems that were fluttering on wings of love,
Far beyond ourselves- No consent of those that we float above,
If only- IF ONLY it were this real outside of my dreams.

Not a kiss from your guardian,
When you wake up at night,
When you tremble and scream,
Out of pure fright,
When your only real fears,
Haunts your every dream,
And they try their hardest,
To bring you relief.

Even though all you see in me,
Is a good friend that you love to hug so much,
If only you knew what that did to me,
that I can’t get enough,
That it excited me ever so- when I make you laugh,
As often as it is- you still don’t know!
I wish you could see it! I wish you weren’t blind,
I wish you would pay my feelings some mind

Not kiss from you mother- when you’re asleep,
When you lose you first tooth and you know she is coming,
That small little fairy- you knew when you were eight,
You believed she would leave if you saw her in sight,
But you mom knew the deal- she knew what to do,
She came into your room when you were in bed,
Left a dollar under your pillow- and a kiss on your forehead.

One last dream I should tell you about,
My favorite one- though I cant figure it out,
In a ball room full of people; dancing with passion,
Cloths have them dressed in a brightly colored medieval fashion,
But they cover their faces- with masks and make-up,
I would look around- my black dress trailing behind,
A Gothic look- one of its on design,
It seems the only one of its kind.

But there you are standing beautifully- no help from a mask; and make-up? None,
But your costume seems to have improvised for it; and then some!
Your gown is gorgeous- with its pinks, greens, purples and blues,
Not to mention the fact that it IS you,
But I think what got me the most- are the artistic fairy wings on you back,
And just as I go- to ask you dance; a man stands up and makes a toast,
And though his voice is booming- I cant here hear what he says,
For my mind hypnotized by your very elegance

He sits back down- and I continue my quest towards you,
You’re looking at me- and I blush as you do,
You’re at the top of the staircase; and many approach,
Seeking out the goddess I want the most,
But you turn then all down- and yet me you approved?
The music is fast and steady- and we twirl around the room,
And it seems that our romance has finally come true,
And I could care less what others think, say, or do.

The others- they dance so gracefully,
But as we flutter by- they so kindly step aside,
I can feel all their eyes on our ever move,
And I could care less- and we continue in steady stride,
And all of the sudden the people are gone,
And yet the music still plays on,
We twist, we spin, and were finally free,
The way that were supposed to be.

And then you stop! And you pull away,
You turn around and run from me,
Up the stairs- and they I see,
He’s standing there- glaring at me,
You run to him; and into his embrace,
And I turn away so he cant see the tears on my face,
I guess that’s about where it ends,
I had that dream once- and never again.

I cant be like the kiss from your boyfriend,
Girlfriend or mother,
Not like the kiss from your grandparents,
Your sister or father,
Not like a kiss from you relative,
In Christmas season,
Or like a Kiss from a good friend,
One with good reason.

But the kiss from the Dream,
Where you hold me close,
And tell me I am the one,
That you need the most,
Where you touch so softly,
Its like silk on my skin,
And then I loose myself,
In your velvet kiss.

The Kiss from my imagination,
Where you would pull me aside,
And you ignored the pleading world,
And let your hands fall- telling me that you needed me,
To full in a emptiness in your soul,
And I would comply- and Id promise that Id stay,
In your heart, your mind, your desires- till my dying day,
I supposed I kissed you then, praying that would be the real end.

I know I ask a lot from you,
And I hope that you understand,
I don’t expect a one from you,
I know that you cant feel this way,
And you never will,
But that doesn’t mean that I cant feel,
Then anger when he touches you- and Caresses YOUR skin,
And in that moment- that’s when I know I lost you him.

But a dream is just that- and you know its true,
Its too bad you don’t know I feel about you,
And I know you never will,
But that just means I will lie about it still,
So when you ask what wrong with me,
Nothing, nothing at all Is all Ill say.
When deep down inside I know its killing me,
But you’re my best friend- and it can never be

I’m conclusion- all I have to say,
It that maybe- one far off day,
Ill walk up to you- and ask for that kiss,
The one I longed for- The one I missed,
The one that doesn’t mean- get well soon,
See you next summer- or tomorrow afternoon,
The one that will finally bring my hopes to a close,
The kiss of acceptance- the key to your soul…