Basketball Momitis

Basketball Momitis: A Humorous Look at Basketball Season by AnnMarie Friedrick

How did this happen? I had heard of this strange phenomenon in articles and books, but never imagined that it would happen to me. I drummed my fingers along the steering wheel and glanced at the clock again. It seemed that time had crawled to a stand still. Would this hour never end? My mind wandered off into the future and I could imagine them finding me, still sitting in the same position, cobwebs and dust covering me. The archeologist would surmise that I had died of a common, yet sometimes-incurable disease… Basketball Momitis.

For those of you with a limited medical background allow me to explain this horrific, and yes, sometimes fatal disease. Basketball Momitis is caused from spending far too many hours in the car waiting for Basketball practice to end. Symptoms include low cell phone battery, fuzzy radio reception, rain, fog, dark nights, and black-circled eyes. Compound symptoms often spread quickly within the family unit. Tired, hungry, abandoned husbands have been known to take food matters into their own hands. It has been reported that, if there is food in the house, they will attempt to quench their hunger with pancakes or canned soups. However, too many meals of this type often leads to Crabby Daddyitis which should be treated immediately with hot, home cooked meals (back massage may also be required, but research has shown no long term benefits from this procedure).

This illness is usually contracted when parents decided that their teenage son requires more physical activity and sign their young man up for the team. They little realize the hours of driving and waiting that will be required of them. Sadly, most parents realize too late that basketball will not only consume their time and resources but also their very lives!

All kidding aside, our family has been eating, sleeping, and breathing basketball for two months now. Although it has been a long two months (full of waiting in the car), basketball has brought new meaning to all of our lives.

In our boy we see new skills developing and the camaraderie of team sports. He is proud to be on this small team, even though they have lost every game. I watch him on the court and smile at his serious concentration and at some of his awkward attempts. I also see the other boys and their actions and reactions. Some boys are mashers and others are ball hogs. There are boys with real skill and talent and those who couldn’t dribble their way out of a gymnasium, but they all play, there are no benchwarmers.

For myself I have once again been reminded of what it means to be a mommy. It means self-sacrifice. It means lots of driving and hard bleacher seats. Being a basketball mom means trying not to yell when a player on your team bumbles and screaming like crazy when any one of them does something right! It means loading your car full of sweaty, smelly boys and smiling secretly as you listen to their excited conversations. All grumbling aside, basketball has been a good thing that will not last forever.

Have you considered team sports for your boy? It can really be a wonderful experience. A few things to keep in mind are: Coaches are coaches are coaches; they have not changed since you were in high school. Team sports means hours in the car, even if you carpool. A crock-pot can save your marriage and a car full of loud, stinky boys is something every mom should experience, at least once!

While there is no cure for Basketball Momitis, most cases prove to be non-life threatening. Often times symptoms begin to fade by the end of Basketball season. A full recovery can be expected by early spring…. Just in time for BASEBALL season!