Intro

Intro

         Everyone has dreams of their own, whether they’re big or small, or if there’s one or one hundred of them.  Dreams are what people have to look forward to in their lives; especially during times when things aren’t the greatest.  But really now, not many people give a crap about these kinds of things these days anyway.  The average person goes about his or her day like nothing, taking it for granted.  No one sits around and dreams all day.  They’re usually thinking, ‘well what the hell is love anyway?’  Anyone would question the possibility of being able to sit and think about one person or one certain thing all day.  No one ever understands it quite the right way until they experience it for themselves.  I don’t feel the need to explain this to anyone, about love, that is, because I’m just a teenager and what the hell do I know anyway.
Well, I lost both of my parents and younger brother at a very young age.  My father was killed in a car accident, or should I say, killed by a cop, since he was still alive when the car had crashed.  It was when he got out that the cop had thrown him on the car and beaten him, something like that, I was never really told the story to my face.  All I’ve heard were conversations when I eavesdropped as I “napped.”  My brother died of SIDS at around one or two years old, making me three at the time.  My mother didn’t die; she just left me to go live with a guy in another state when I was about six or seven.  Since then, my Grandmother and two Aunts’ have been raising me.  My father and brother died in the same year; 1994.  I was born December 5th, 1991 in New York City an 8 pound and something ounce brown haired baby.  Despite what you may or may not have heard about Brooklyn or New York in general being a bad place I actually had a fairly normal childhood after my mom left me.  I was never a charity case; I had no reason to be because I grew up normal (or, rather, my perception of the word).
I grew up in Brooklyn.  And to answer any smart ass questions, no, I have no relations to the mafia.  Where I grew up is the total opposite of the average outsider’s vision of Brooklyn; or New York in general.    Sometimes I pass by my house that I lived in during the majority of my childhood and, as if lightning strikes me every time I’m there, a rush of memories come racing through my brain and play like a black and white movie in front of my eyes. 
         Getting back to more recently, over the past year things have been… well to say the least, far off from what I was expecting.  Around two months ago I was in, what I thought to be at the time, a really great relationship.  Let’s just say in the end I found out I was cheated on, used and told some pretty harsh things.  Now my attitude toward that is, ‘Life goes on, fuck them.’  Of course at the time it happened I wasn’t thinking that.  I was devastated and wished I would die, I’ll be honest and I’m not going to make myself look like a hero.  I did get over it, obviously, and moved on.
Very soon after, I was introduced to Nathan, which I would soon come to recognize as the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me.  As you’ll see, Nathan and I are the focus of the following chapters.  Most of these are not true stories; I guess you could call this book a collection of my dreams and aspirations for the future. 
The contents of this book are dedicated to, of course, Nathan, because without him there wouldn’t be any book, or any true love and happiness in my life.
With that in mind, I leave you with this quote,

“All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.” – T.E. Lawrence.