Gettin' Ready

Slap on a CD, turn up the bass then
To the bathroom and put on your face. Tonight
Makeup takes about ten minutes more so
Straighten your hair: it looks shit. You put it up.
Tut tut. You shoulda known right there it wouldn’t
Go with your footwear. Change of shoes means
Change of dress. Stop and sing to the song
You love best then change again. And again
As your temperament rises. The kindness of voice
When you spoke to the pizza boy makes you
More annoyed. That fuckin cats in the way again
So go on, give it a kick as it burns down your wick.
Finally, Accessorise. All to match your eye shine and
Your on time. Nice.

Meanwhile…

Take a piss. Look at this your beards growin legs!
Swig the dregs from the can, nah, your face’ll be fine.
It’s not like she put in an effort last time.
Nothings on the telly but your finger flicking fun
Runs on. Check the clock and get up.
Brush your teeth, lynx yourself, then its time to go
But no. The Simpson’s on and it’s the one with
Senor ding dong and the bell that won’t stop ringing.
So sit back down ‘cause you know she’ll
just be singing in the mirror. Then go.
Fifteen minutes late but she’ll be later tho’, ’cause
You know what women are like.