TALL TALE

I sail my ship on a course marked by the breeze over crystal clear seas.  The women I've known and the ones I will meet have placed me on my lonely journey. I've always had the ability to understand what women want by searching in their eyes; the rewards from this gift have been passion, memories and many a barroom brawl.  Men are fools when competition is at stake.  Leaving broken hearts behind gets harder with every tear, but I must say goodbye; the wind whispers that wonderful things await just beyond the next sunset.

The first full moon of the New Year was losing its battle with daybreak.  I had a pocket full of money.  I'd just deposited a banker and his girlfriend at Marsh Harbor after a week that began with a crossing from Palm Beach and culminated into a leisurely sail down the Bahama's Northern Cays.  It had been an awkward week for me; the Lady could not hide her desires.  She tired her old man out with swimming and snorkeling all day... and then by night we'd make moonlit love.
 
I was about ten knots north of the Hole-in-the-Wall Lighthouse when I first saw it about a half a mile out off my port side.  By the time I got my binoculars it was gone.  My imagination ran wild, but the wind was picking up and I had things to do. 

I tighten the mainsail and the jib; so it could embrace more wind.  A slight shift makes me lose the wind for a moment.  It was like I passed over something, but I was in very deep water.  Before I even thought about what I saw earlier that day the line of my fishing pole I always have out off my stern snapped tight.  I secured the wheel and started reeling, wondering what's for dinner.

As I reeled the fish close I could tell by the rainbow of color that tonight I would feast on Mahi Mahi.  Out of the deep blue I saw it coming.  It swallowed my fish that was as big as my arm.  The line broke and I fell backwards.  I got back on my feet and looked over the side hoping what I had just seen, could not be true.

Worse than I thought.  There it was gently floating on the surface, kept up with the boat with rhythmic ease.  It was larger than the boat.  Son of a bitch I thought.  "Size - especially out there - matters." It had one big greenish blue eye in the middle of a face that was mostly teeth.  It's tail slowly slapped the water as if it was savoring what I might taste like.  It looked right through me and I dared not breathe.  Then it slowly dove, I watched it disappear.

I turned back to the wheel, turned on the engine and changed my course to due west.  I had a strong on shore wind so I set my sails wing to wing.  I was moving, my only wish was to run-a-ground.  I think I was crying.

It came up over my starboard, tipping the boat on its side.  I clung to the portside gunnels as its mouth reached for me.  The screams were deafening but I can't remember if they were mine or the monster's.  I was going to be it's next feeding and there was nothing I could do about it. Then as if waking up from a nightmare, it slipped back into the sea and disappeared again.

Before I went back to the wheel I grabbed my gun.  The sails were down and the rigging was broken and loose.  It kept swimming under the boat pushing it out of the water; it was like the ultimate roller coaster ride.  When it came up on my portside I opened fire.  It hit the boat so hard that the gun went over one side and me the other.

I was entangled in the rigging that hung over the side.  I could tell by the way the monster was thrashing the boat around,  the shots I fired did nothing but piss it off.  I tried to free myself from the lines as I watched this thing - what ever it was - dive to the deep once more. 

I saw the monster heading toward me; my end was on its way.  Right before I was about to be eaten alive the wake from the monster rocked the boat snatching me from its jaws and throwing me back onto the deck.  I grabbed the spinnaker boom that was rolling back and forth.  I stood there with the boom held high above my head.  This thing might eat me but I was going to leave a bad taste in its mouth.  I watched it coming up from the deep.  When it broke the surface I shoved that boom right down its throat.  When its blood filled the air I shoved it deeper.  The thing was entwined in the rigging and when it started to sink it began to pull the boat with it.  I started to cut all the lines.  I heard a snap a thud, all went black.

Three days later I came to on the deck of what was left of my boat which was wedged in a rocky outcrop called the Devil's Backbone. 

Come on Lads - buy another round and I will tell you about the time I was off the coast of Haiti... with a boat full of pot.  And the Ton Ton wanted to make a deal that included my girlfriend.