Go Directly To Hell: Do Not Pass Go...

Go Directly To Hell: Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200


My aunt is a Christian; born-again and the whole nine yards. I am not, and this is an ongoing debate between us. In a recent such (for lack of a better word) spat, she told me that she would pray for me; that she loves me no matter where I stand. My response was that of course she loves me no matter where I stand; that it is the very nature of love to be unconditional. I can appreciate that she fears for my eternal soul, truly I can. However, I can’t believe that a tiny, imperfect human being can accomplish something that God/Allah/Yahweh/Odin/the Green Man/ the White Lady/Gaia (whatever you call Him/Her; whatever you believe) cannot. I contended that if we are made, as most theological theories, ideas, philosophies, religions state, in the image of whatever God(s), how can God(s) not also love me no matter where I stand?
She challenged, also, my concept of right and wrong; stating that child molesters and murderers and thieves are certainly not “right”. I said, I'm not saying that child molesters and murderers are "right" morally, but the thing is; most of them don't know that. Not in this world; on this plane...
What I am saying is that a good person, born in ignorance of God and Jesus as we know them is not going to "hell". I can't stand that thought.
Are you telling me that someone who was miscarried...or a baby born dead, is going to limbo, or purgatory, or hell until the day comes when he or she can be judged by a supposedly loving God with everyone else? I don't understand that theological concept. I may be off base. I may not know anything...in fact, I concede that I know absolutely nothing. I did long ago, and surrendered my life to a search (never ending) for truth. Not truth as I know it...not my perception of truth...not truth as told to me by my fellow human beings (who may know more than I do but still not nearly as much as God(s), but real, actual truth without my ignorant perception as a human to dog it, to taint it, to lie.
Until I find that truth (in death, I presume), I prefer to keep my mind open. Plato called it the great wager; belief in God. I'm sure you're familiar with it. I believe in God, I believe in an afterlife. Chances are, I'm wrong in what I believe. Chances are, everyone else is too, because we can't know. Not for sure. All we know is what we feel, and what we learn from other, imperfect human beings.
I don't believe in evolution either; that we are all the accidental product of some rogue lightning bolt that struck a cell, creating an amoeba, which led (unassisted) to the world as we know it. What did Darwin know? He married his first cousin, for God's sake. It's actually (almost ironically) more ridiculous to believe in evolution than to believe in a higher power.
I don't discount Christianity, but I don't claim it either. I love God. I know in my heart that God loves me. I know I'm far from perfect. I've done many things wrong; really wrong; things for which I feel guilty. And I know that God gets mad at me, and I know that God punishes me. The funny thing is, I never can blame Him/Her. I don't think I'm a pagan...I really believe that witchcraft is wrong (for me, but that’s not to say that anyone else is wrong; I just don’t f**k with the cosmos). But I am definitely my own harshest judge (which, who knows; may be God(s) speaking, deep in my heart, saying, "Julia...what the hell is wrong with you? Why on earth did you do that?”). In fact, I kind of prefer to think that it is.
See, here's my problem with the Bible: not that it isn't occasionally factual: but that it doesn't tell the WHOLE story, and nobody can deny that (where, for example, are the dinosaurs...or the fact that present man has been recently proven to have coexisted with "ape man", hence the perpetual existence of "missing link"?). I don't dispute most of the validity of the Bible, like I said. But are there even hints to the whole story?
What about the parable of the servant, who owed his master a great debt, and begged his master to be merciful, and not to send him to prison for this debt? The master was merciful, and let the servant go. Then, when the servant saw a coworker in the yard who owed him what would have been equivalent (according to the NIV version) to a few bucks, he immediately had the man thrown in jail...mercilessly. Did that parable not reach its target audience? Christians want to go around damning everyone to “hell” from on top of their high horses, without considering that, as human beings, they’re in the very same sinking boat as the rest of us; unworthy as we are (sometimes more so).
What about "Judge not, lest ye be judged"? It is not up to man to say who will go to "hell" and who will not. It is up to God(s). It is up to you to decide if you are "right with God" for your own purposes, in your own interpretation. I don't believe in being saved, because I don't think there is anything from which to be saved. I believe in God, and I am right with God. I believe that Jesus Christ was a spiritual guide, sent directly from God to lead us in the right direction; AWAY from intolerance. I also believe that Ghandi and Mohammed were spiritual guides, sent directly from God to lead us in the right direction; AWAY from intolerance.
I believe that spirits sometimes "come back" to assure us, to affirm that we do have something to look forward to. With free will, there can be no Divine Plan, and vice-versa. I cannot accept the God who doesn't allow free will; that is; the God that man/woman has invented to scare her/himself good. In that light, I believe that some of us, based upon free will, leave this world, this plane, before we were "meant to". Perhaps our differences were put here to bring us together. Why would I have this searching soul, this questioning mind, if God didn't intend for me to use it? And that goes for all of us. I don't rebel simply for the pleasure it brings me. It brings me none, as a matter of fact. I merely cannot be a sheep, herded into fields of ignorance and intolerance. I can't accept that I'm this way at cross purpose to God's, because I know that I am here to make a difference; to make people think; to stir shit up. I refuse to believe that God gave us free will to accept everything as it is and never question and follow dumbly wherever any wo/man who could easily twist God's truths would lead.
I got a little off track there, but religion always does that to me. Religion was put here to unify us through our diversity; not in spite of it. People made up the concept of “heaven and hell” to scare other people into behaving. I think that spirits go on and exist as pure energy on another plane; and that whenever they choose, due to the freedom of that form (or lack thereof) they can come back as lighthouses, guiding us ahead as God intended. I believe that God allows us our petty visions of Him or Her as a manner of showing us true understanding; something I fear we humans can never accomplish. I believe that this is a leading-by-example technique on God's part, and I can appreciate that. What I can't understand is why we can't just accept that we are all different; that our differences are the very beauty that make up this world (and, if you so believe, other worlds). That until we can accept each other for who and what we are without trying to force others to share our exact same views, this world will suck as far as the way we treat each other. I suppose I'm a big hippie, or a pagan, or whatever anyone wants to term me, and maybe I'm going to "hell" for that. I just can't buy it. I'm one of the most genuinely good people I know, and I'm not saying that to brag. I just know I'm not a fuck-up, and if I'm going to "hell" for accepting everyone for who and what they are without questioning them and trying to make them just like me...or if I'm going to "hell" for following the nature God instilled in me...alright. Fine. I just don't think it's possible that God would shun me for doing what He or She put in my heart to do. And I can't feel that way about anyone else, either. Something deep inside of me that I can't name tells me I'm right, and that God loves me despite my faults, that this path is mine to walk. It's hard and sometimes lonely, but that tells me I'm on the right track...how does it go? "Wide and easy is the path of the damned"?
Or something to that effect? "Hard and narrow the way of the righteous"?
Ghandi said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world", and I'm working hard at it.
I'm sorry if this is offensive; I don't mean to be, truly. It's just what I believe and I can't accept intolerance or false judgment.
My vision of the afterlife is very different; so hear me out...
I think that you die and gain the ultimate knowledge of your life. Without your own perception to screw it up. Some people are their own worst enemies; some are their finest and most valiant defenders. I work with depositions all day every day. No two witnesses ever tell the same exact story. Ever. In fact, if they do, it's a red flag that they got together and conjured it. Everything is different to everyone. I believe that the only One who truly knows, without biased or faulty perception, is God(s). If you're with me so far, hang tight.
In that light, I think that when you die, you are shown your life as GOD(S) saw it. What you did. What you didn't do. What you could have done. What you should have done. You know yourself, without the veil in which you covered yourself your whole life. Do you know what I mean? You see absolute truth for the very first time. The truth, according to God(s). Let me use an example, to make this clear. And, by the way, I'm not saying that I'm right. I really doubt it. And Christianity works for a lot of people. Bottom line. It makes a lot of people good people. I would venture to say more people are truly good than are self-righteously pious. Honestly. I'm not discounting or putting down Christianity. I’m just saying, follow your own advice and take that friggin plank from your eye before you go digging at my splinter.
For example (to get back to what I was saying before my disclaimer ), Hitler's dead. Okay, so what I think is, when he died, God showed him that what he had done was wrong. Let's face it. Deep down, the voice of God is always there, whether you know what it is or why it's there (your Jiminy Cricket, if you will), and deep down, through the darkness of his soul, Hitler knew without knowing how or why, that he was wrong. He chose to ignore that voice. He covered it; buried it in hatred accumulated by years of perceived (falsely) danger and hatred toward him and his country. When he died, it was confirmed; Hitler, you were wrong. You knew what you were doing was wrong. I gently guided you, and gave you the choice to make, God(s) told him. I think Hitler spends eternity tormented by his own guilt at his own evils toward his fellow man (and woman).
Someone like Anne Frank (a Jew, I might add), on the exact opposite of that spectrum, was given the opportunity to show this absolute truth to the world. Not in a list of instructions; not claimed to be by the hand of God; but in her simple and heartfelt story. The story of a few years of her life spent in torment at the hands of this evil. I believe in a subtle guide; I guess, is what I'm saying. And I don't believe that Anne Frank is in “hell” for being Jewish. There are so many wonderful people, who brought light and hope into the world, who, by Christian standards, are burning eternally in hell.
"Let me explain...no; there is too much; let me sum up..." (Princess Bride)
"Each smallest act of kindness reverberates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of this good echo, because kindness is passed, and grows each time it is passed, until a simple act of kindness becomes a selfless act of courage years later and far away. Likewise, each small meanness, each expression of hatred, each act of evil." Dean Koontz said that in "From The Corner of His Eye". As a Christian, who believes in other planes or realities, you should take a look at it. You would love it. As a Muslim, as a Jew. As a Pagan, or a UU. That book changed my life, and I think it's time to read it again, because I can feel my recent meanness poisoning my soul, and I can't stand it. It is better to be loved than to be feared...(I know I said it backward; Machiavelli can kiss my ass). I swear. I have lied. I have even stolen. It was a long time ago, but it's there, the stain on my soul, even though I paid it back (the money, that is). I have hurt people, and been hurt in turn.
This voice, this pull, that tells me to change the world, I don't believe that it's evil. I believe that it's God(s), calling me to His/Her side, for the good fight. I fear we are losing ourselves, in these wars, in the senseless violences that are rapes, and murders, and thefts. Worse, we turn a blind eye to it, believing that we can do nothing to help. "I am just one person..." someone says. Just one person, plus just one person, who influence just one person, and another...lead to better things. I pray for me too, Auntie. Thanks for your thoughts, and I love you, no matter where you stand. Which of all of us is right, I have no idea. I only hope that he or she steps forward soon, with a better idea, a theology; a way of life; that won't lead us to war or hatred. I hope that people stop having babies they can't take care of, and I hope that we can all see and accept our differences. They are what make us beautiful, after all. What make life interesting, and worlds turn. We are (odd as it sounds) each needed. That said, I'll let you get back to your work/play/life.