i kissed a girl

I kissed a girl. A warm, luscious, young lesbian woman. She licked my lips. Very different. A shy green eyed creature. Does this make me a lesbian? I have never kissed a girl before. It was nice. I fell in love with her in a few short weeks. She has a runners body, a runners walk. Boy short hair, and a tiny little neck. She broke my heart this week. I didn't think this would ever happen to me. I was a heterosexual person my whole life, i had a child with a man. I dated men. Now i have no desire to be near a man, they tempt me not. Can i really be a lesbian and not know my whole life? I always looked at women, they are definitly more beautiful and alluring creatures. I have always been different but i never thought this is why. I am not ashamed, it feels natural, like a progression of life. I cannot have what my heart desires with chandra. She doesn't love me like i love her. I am still in love with her but someday maybe i will move on. Do i want another woman? I think so. She was wonderful, she had all the qualities i have always wanted. She was sweet, until she dumped me after promising me the moon, shy, silly, and full of laughter. An impish child like girl, so intimidating. I was intimidated by her world. I know nothing of it. I guess i didn't belong in her world, but i wanted to so badly. Now i am lost without her.......how do i go looking for another girl? I live in a small minded town in the bible belt. I have a young child and mother to care for. I have little time for myself. I dread tomorrow, i have to go back to work and face her. Or the lack of her. She is out of my life now, because we would lose our jobs. I think there is more to it than that but she won't tell me why. I guess i am better off not knowing. I miss her all day. I have a pain in my belly like lead weight. I think i will call in tomorrow......