Hellogoodbye Here In Your Arms songfic

Hellogoodbye – Here (In Your Arms)


I like where we are
When we drive in your car
I like where we are
Here

High school graduation, the day I had been waiting for forever, willing it to come quicker, and yet, I found myself completely lost. Years had past since I'd made my promise, and all those years my promise had been kept. I'd never looked at anyone the same way that I looked at him. Yea, there had been other boys. Yea, I'd fallen in love with one or two of them. And yea, they never worked out. Time was never on my side.
Afterwards, after graduation, we met up at his car. It wasn't the best car in the world, not by far, but one that I'd grown to love. And this sense of freedom made everything shine all the brighter. Even the stampede of recently released seniors didn't faze me as it normally would. Their hoots and howls were only background noise to the beautiful high that came with being able to do what I wished as I wished without school or tests or studying to worry about.
After Nick managed to unlock the driver's side door of his sleek black 1957 Cadillac, he slid inside and leaned across the middle console to open the other door for me. We kissed for a moment after I was seated and the doors were closed.
He revved the engine and checked his rearview mirror to make sure no idiot eighteen year olds were going to get crushed when he backed out. I fiddled with the radio as he pulled out of the high school parking lot, after waiting in a long, long line of Porches, Corvette convertibles, and Mercedes Benz. The rich kids of The Woodlands always managed to annoy me in one way or another. Because, in all honesty, the fact of the matter is that after that new law passed, lowering the drinking age to 18, tonight those kids were going to go out, get wasted at one party or another (or maybe both) and those poor, nice cars would end up totaled on the side of the road.
But here with Nick, in his sexy, classic Cadillac, it felt safe. I felt safe. I knew he would never be stupid enough to do anything as foolish as what those rich Woodlands kids had planned.
The asphalt flew under the well-worn wheels, taking us closer and closer towards our destination. Sort of lose to my house was this little wooded park with picnic tables and benches and a beautiful little lake. Nick and I went there kind of frequently, just to take in the beauty of it all. That was one thing that I'd always loved about him. There were no expectations between us. Never had been. Because a few years back we had agreed on just friendship. At least until graduation.
It tore us both apart when we knew we couldn't be together, not really. Too many things stood in the way of us. It seemed that so many things were against the Nick/Casey pairing. Parents, for one; both of our parents absolutely hated the idea of us. Because we got so wrapped up in each other and things started seeming less and less important. My grades slipped and his part-time job suffered greatly to the point of him being fired. And since he lost his job, he got his car taken away by his parents because he couldn't make the payments to work off the loan his parents had given him.
So, we decided to be responsible. Or, I did at least, when I broke it off. I wasn't going to let him lose something because of me, be hurt because of me. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself knowing that I was the cause of turmoil in his family.
And then he met her. Catherine. Well, no. He didn't meet her. They'd been friends for a while. But after Nick and I were over, she took an obvious interest in him. And that hurt, bad.
But, here in his car, none of that mattered. It was easy to be with him. He took my had as he parked, giving it a squeeze before we opened the car doors and stepped out, simultaneously.

Cause our lips can touch
And our cheeks can brush
Our lips can touch
Here
Sitting on the bank of that little lake, his hand in mine, it almost felt like old times. Yea, things had changed between us. And yea, they could never be the same. But, at least I could take comfort in that we had always remained close, physically and emotionally. We didn't talk much outside of school, and when we did it normally was meaningless stuff. The most important means of communication between us had always been on paper. Our notes were filled with the important things. Secrets and wishes and thoughts and dreams. Our notes could remain in the reality that we had created when we were together. When the world fell away with every kiss and every touch would leave me breathless.
I leaned into him, enjoying the sun that was raining down on us through the gaps in the trees that towered high above us. "Casey?" His voice jerked my thoughts back into the cruel current reality.
"Yea?" I loved the way he said my name. It made things feel a bit less pointless. He was my reason, the beacon of hope shining through the infinite darkness that engulfed life.
"Do you regret anything with us? Back then?" I loved how he was so open with me. He made himself vulnerable. Not many guys were like that. Not many people were like that.
"Of course not, Nick. Nothing on Earth could make me regret anything I thought or felt about you, anything that happened with you." I meant every word that I spoke, so much that it could only come out as a whisper. Just like every "I love you" that had ever passed between my lips and into his ears. Nick had changed me so much and it was all for the better. He was the only person who had worked pass the labyrinth of walls that was my mental and emotional barricade. He took down the walls that not even I could disassemble.
"Kay…" Nick's voice was soft, and it's sincerity resonated before settling over the rippling surface of the pond.
He slid his arm around my waist and gently tugged me a bit closer to him. I looked up into his eyes and they were right there, his face only centimeters from mine. "Nick…" My first instinct was to stop him, because I was so used to stopping him. So used to forcing him to not take things farther than friendship even though we both wanted it. But no, I was through with letting my mind take control. It was time for my emotions and dreams to reign once again. The crown had been reinstated to its former glory.
Then his lips were on mine, and the world fell away, just as always. The noise of the cars rushing past on the freeway near the park disappeared completely and the dampness of the grass under us was nonexistent. Nothing aside from him mattered, he was he world, and not even I was there. It was only him.

Well you are the one
The one that lies close to me
Whispers, "Hello,
I miss you quite terribly"
I fell in love
In love with you suddenly
There is nowhere else I could be
But here in your arms

"God, I missed you." My whisper was hardly audible. I wouldn't even have been able to tell if he had heard me, had he not adopted that incredibly cute half smile of his. The grin that had always made me melt. It was so pleading, begging, absolutely pathetic, like a kicked, abandoned puppy, and it made me feel like the worst person on Earth. So, of course, I would give in to anything he wanted, just to make his eyes stop pleading like they did.
"I know." It was always entertaining, replying like that. It left him to wonder. And that was always a good thing, because he had such an overactive imagination. I loved the boy. I fell in love with him too quickly. Maybe a few months after we'd met and I had fallen so completely it was pathetic. And I was so afraid to let myself believe it, cause then I wouldn't be able to take it back. Then he would be able to hurt me. But after a while, after so many talks with my friend Melanie, I was prepared for the pain that was to come.
Only, there was no pain. None but the aching in my chest when he wasn't around, nothing but the emotional death that came with watching him walk away, or when I myself had to walk away from him.
He still held me in his arms, and I was afraid that he would let go. I didn't want him to let go… I hated the feeling of the absence of his arms. It was the best feeling in the world, leaning into his chest, listening to his heart beat. He rested his head on mine, and sighed contently.
I couldn't even begin to sort out my emotions enough to realize how much I missed this. It was an incredible feeling, sharing his warmth like this. I had been in his arms countless times over the past years, but nothing like this. Those times had been meaningless. This one though, this was the restart of something vitally, phenomenally important. This was the restart of my world.

I like where you sleep
When you sleep next to me
I like where you sleep
Here

Our lips can touch
And our cheeks can brush
Our lips can touch
Here

I loved the boy so much. He was magnificent, absolutely iridescent. He made life so much more tolerable, so much easier to deal with. The world was so much more wonderful with him in it.
"Let's get out of here." I said standing and pulling at his hand, trying to get him rise as well. It didn't work well. "Fine." I was always stubborn, and as soon as I started walking away he was right behind me. He poked me in the side and I squealed. Rounding on him, I attacked his ribs, tickling him till he was begging me to stop.
I let up a bit, and he pulled away from me when I tried to hug him. That hurt look fell over his beautiful features once again, his piercing blue-green eyes pleading and pathetic, looking horribly hurt, his lips hinting at the ghost of a pout. His light brown hair fell into his eyes as his face fell, eyes focused on the dirt sprinkled across his black skater Vans.
"Ah! Stop it! I'm sorry!!!" I felt horrible about tickling him. It was a stupid thing to be torn up over, but I hated when he made that face… It ripped me apart from the inside out.
"Kay!" He looked up at me and grinned, the smile reaching his eyes. We walked back to his Caddy and he turned the key once we were inside the comfortable confines of the decades old car.
A few minutes later, we were pulling into the driveway at my house. I unlocked the door and we headed to my room. I grabbed the TV remote off my bed and clicked the power button, then started channel surfing. He lied on my bed, right next to me, both of us propped up on our arms. I liked being with him like this, there was no pressure with Nick and it was nice that way. He respected me and I respected him and there was a silent understanding between us that we thought too highly of each other to take things too far.
Finding Nightmare Before Christmas on one of the channels, I snuggled closer to him, lying my head on my now crossed arms. I didn't need to see the screen to know what was going on. I had the movie memorized. The sound alone was enough.
I didn't realize how tired I was until I could hardly keep my eyes open. "I love you," I whispered to him, halfway asleep.
"I love you too, Casey." His voice was soft and he was looking down at me with gentle eyes. Within moments I was asleep. It was a nice feeling, falling a sleep next to someone. And a nice thought that when I woke up he might still be there. I had always hated sleeping and waking up with no one around. It was one of the things that I wished to end.
He leaned down and kissed the top of my head softly, grabbing a blanke from the top of my bed and covering my slumbering body. The boy was so sweet, I could never come up with a reason that I had ended things with him.


Well you are the one
The one that lies close to me
Whispers, "Hello,
I miss you quite terribly"
I fell in love
In love with you suddenly
There is nowhere else I could be
But here in your arms

I woke up and he was still there next to me, watching over me, protect me. "Hey, sleepy head." His smile was evident in his voice, and so was the slight laugh that passed through his soft, gentle lips.
"How long was I out?"
"Only about half an hour. Your parents are home. Kind of scared me when they walked in there." The fear of my father was also evident his voice. That was the one thing that Nick could never get past. The fear of a man with a twelve-gauge shot gun. It was sort of laughable.
"Don't worry about the old man. You know how my parents feel about you. They absolutely worship the ground you walk on, hon."
"Remember the promises we made to each other those years ago?" He was whispering again, afraid of what my answer might be.
"Of course I remember. How could I ever forget. I still have the ring, you foolish boy." I wiggled my fingers in front of his face, showing him the ring that he had given me and I had never taken off.
"Kay." He sounded slightly reassured, but still a bit skeptical.
"I still want what we promised." My voice was soft as well. I couldn't help but fear getting hurt. It wasn't exactly my idea of fun. I missed him so, so terribly that it was hard to fathom. I wished that things had never changed between us and that he could have been mine forever. I wished that I had never let him go. I had been so stupid.
I had been so afraid that he would move on completely. I would have been crushed, to the most absolute of extents.
He was my world, even when we were apart. He took my life with him whenever he left the room, I wanted him by my side for all time.
He was one of the few people that I actually felt safe around, someone that would actually trust with my very existence. He would never hurt me, and I knew that for a fact. He had protected me for years, and I loved him for it. He had been there for me for years, and I loved him for it. He had been the best person in my life, and I loved him for it. … He had been himself. And I loved him for it.
"… So do I. I always have." He looked me in the eyes, and kissed me. Fire coursed through my veins, and the world was nothing once again. And I knew for sure that he was mine. That he always had been. And that he would be forever. I knew that for once I would get my happy ending. Or… At least someone to share with whatever ending I got.