Courage to Become

Courage to Become

I once read; “It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.” (e.e cummings. ) Upon hearing these words I agreed. But yet a lingering voice within replied; “But have you really grown up? Have you really turned out to be who you really are?” To this voice I reply: “I know I have courage. Courage has served me well through times when it was all that remained. I know I have grown. How do I know this? I find joy in the not remembering who I used to be. I also know I have grown to a degree that I know I need additional growth. I know the growth will not end.” This brings me to my favorite part; turning out to be who I really am.

Who am I really? I love movies. I love stories. I  love poetry and most of all, I love happy endings. For a moment imagine I am the author of my life. Imagine I have been given gifts along the way. If one of these gifts were courage and another was the ability to write my own life’s story then what do you suppose the outcome would be? Would I not turn out to be a writer? Wouldn’t the story have a happy ending?

I believe the degree of courage is measured by the fear associated with the task at hand. If I spent my entire life dreaming of becoming a writer I would not be one. I would be a dreamer. And I am. I believe that moving from dreamer to writer is a crucial chapter in the story of my life.

I stand upon the brink. It takes courage to step into the me I am becoming. Is this a fear based choice? What is greater? The fear of failure or the fear of allowing the fear of failure to stop you from ever trying? I do believe I am in the midst of fear. This is how I know I must summon great courage to proceed with the becoming of who I really am. I am a writer. I am a poet at heart.

As I look back on my life, I remember the writing times. I remember the joy… and yes I remember the tears. I remember the impact my words have had. As I look forward, I do not want to find myself looking back with the regret of “had only I followed my heart.”

My heart has served me well. I will listen to it, I will pay attention. It tells me now is the time to step forth a become who I really am. How is it that I could be writing in this forum when I did not know of WDC 72 hours ago? How is it that I have been led to the words “It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.” (e.e cummings. ) ?

I know that the process of becoming is indeed a process. It takes time. It takes space and yes it takes courage. I believe it takes courage to find out who you really are. It would be difficult to be that person if you were afraid of who they are or what they believed or held close to their heart. It would be fearful if you did not know that person at all. It is easier to face fear when I listen to my heart.

I know I love nature. I have spent most of my time there. I love the majesty of the wild. I love the sounds. I love feel of earth under foot. I do not mind the bite of wind upon my face. Northern lights, whales and calving glaciers are a few of my favorite things. (Sounds like a song). I love writing. It is my desire to bring the essence of the wild to readers who may not have experienced it in depth or perhaps not at all. It is my deeper desire help nature through my writing. I know that it is a time of change for our world. I hope to be a part of that change. I believe that beauty is the essence of much that is held dear.

Back to turning out to be. I know that I could spend my life being a writer and never put my work out there. I would still be a writer. I would be writing for me. If it is my desire to touch people’s hearts it would be quite difficult if I never put it (my writing) out there. It would also be a challenge to help a planet (and people) in need.

I suppose the desire to touch people’s hearts is outweighing my fear of doing so. The fear still exist. The courage must still be called upon. Could it be that I am one who desires to touch others heart’s? Could it be that perhaps I am a writer after all?

I must now and again think of the words “It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.” (e.e cummings. ) I must call upon courage. It is my friend. I must continue growing. I must reveal with each written word “who am I, really?”

I stand upon the brink. Now is the time to step off.

I do believe I have writers cramp… Wait, what’s this? Can anyone tell me what is supposed to be written on my keyboard…. you know... the key between the U and the O? I seemed to have worn mine away.