Gram's Party

Prompt: Write about someone celebrating a 100th birthday.


Great Grandma made her tenth decade
and wanted old friends and kin around.
So she scrawled a two-page guest list;
I tracked them all to funerary grounds.

I could not bear to break such news,
So I hatched a plan most conniving.
I'd just wheel her to a taproom
and let strangers play those surviving.

I hadn't worked out all the kinks;
I just figured I'd play it by ear.
Luckily, her senses were failing
and she'd no visitors in years ---

          A top heavy waitress came by,
          but her booze she would not disperse.
          "Only milk for her ilk," she chided.
          Delighted, Gram cried, "My wet-nurse!"

          A long haired biker, passing by,
          picked his nose and grunted a "Hiya."
          Gram smiled back, then whispered low,
          "Be glad you don't look like Aunt Lila!"

          They sang karaoke on stage
          and a drunkard tripped over a chair.
          He fought long and hard to find footing.
          Gram nearly peed to see Fred Astaire.

          O'er the roar we scarce hear two gents,
          discussing a newborn named Willie.
          One called out, " . . . more than ten inches long!"
          Gram squealed, "Bill's still gilding the lily!"

We left not too long after that,
though we ran into several more ghosts.
Each time a patron called, "Cheers!"
Gram blushed at receiving at toast.

"All those people made me feel old,"
mused Gram, as we headed to the car.
"I damn near drowned in memories.
Maybe next year we can swing by a bar!"

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