Missing you

"Barb?"

"Yes, sweetie, I'm here."

"I've missed you so much.  You don't know how hard it is sometimes.  It's just... just..."

"I know, sweetie, I know.  You've been so brave, and I'm sure you've been taking great care of the kids and keeping Mom from going crazy.  I'm real proud of you, honey!"

"Well, that's the thing, Barb.  I can't do this anymore.  I'm not strong enough.  I'm not tough like you... were."

"Sure you are, Rick.  You've been so strong, and everybody relies on you."

"I can't.. I can't have everybody relying on me.  Sometimes I want to scream and run away, but I don't know where to run to.  I miss you so much, and I don't understand, I really don't."

"Understand what, sweetie?  What don't you understand?"

"Why did you have to get... you know?  Damn, I can't even say it."

"Why did I have to get cancer?  There wasn't any reason, Rick, it just happened.  God wanted me to come home."

"Ah, don't talk like that.  You know how that religious crap bugs me."

"But it's true, Rick, it's true.  God wanted me home, and so I came."

"Are you sure, honey?  When you died and I... I looked at your face lying there... I thought you were gone.  Really gone."

"I'm not gone, sweetie.  I'm right here, waiting for you.  And when God calls you home, I'll be waiting here with open arms."

"I guess we'll see..."

"See what, Rick?"

"We'll see if you're there waiting for me.  I got tired of waiting, so tired.  I was too lonely and tired."

"Rick, what are you saying?  Rick, you're scaring me."

"There's nothing to be scared about, Barb.  Nothing at all.  Sorry, I'm feeling a bit light-headed, that's all..."

"Light-headed?  Rick, what ARE you talking about?  What is going on?  Where are you?"

"It's okay, honey, it's okay.  Everything's gonna be okey dokey.  We're in the car.  Remember when you wanted us to hurry up and get ready?  We'd yell, 'We're in the car!'  Remember how the kids would laugh."

"Rick, sweetie, I remember, I do remember, but where are you now?  Where are the kids?"

"They're here, they're both here.  They're in the back seat, fast asleep.  Fast asleep.  You said never to leave them alone, and I won't.  I swear I won't.  Never leave them alone.  Alone.  Not long now, Barb, not long."

"RICK!  RICK!"

"We're in the car... in the car... and the engine's running... and we're coming to find you, Barb.  We're coming to join you.  Better open up those arms, now, honey..."