The Light Chronicles - Episode Two

The light chronicles
Episode Two

Once again it starts in the dark. But this time it is different. They have sent me back with memories of my last time here. They tell me things will be very much different than the last time but they failed, or chose not, to tell me in what way they would be different. They said that would be part of my new learning. I wish they would be a little more specific on just what it is that I have to learn. I believe it would make the learning process a lot easier.
Once again I am within a pink light. It is warm and comfortable with the soothing bump-bump caressing my aural receptors although I can feel that there is something amiss somewhere. And once again I feel the presence of another, probably the bonded mate of my pink light. For some unexplained reason I feel different than last time. I cannot figure out exactly how I am different yet but I feel that I shall know soon enough.
The time is nearly here for me to be ejected into the outer world, a most uncomfortable experience as I remember. I am not going to like it but I remember that is part of the process I must go through. I will be fine in the end. I talk these things over with myself in preparation for the event so that I will be emotionaly prepared.
The time has come. I feel the walls of my cocoon pressing inward with great pressure, I am unable to move freely as before. The pressure is so great that I feel tremendous discomfort in my limbs and rib cage. I feel as though I am suffocating. I feel my body being forced into a smaller and smaller opening which is not giving way as it should. My lower transport limbs are fitting too tightly in the exit tube, I have doubts the rest of my form will be able to follow. My movement through the tube has halted but the relentless pressure continues, my head begins to ache, I see flashing light before my eyes.
After a far too long a time I begin to move again. My feet emerge into the ice cold space outside my pink light. I sense six other light in attendance of this procedure. One light with deep tones is giving commands to the others, they scurry around tending other duties, seemingly with great urgency. I am becoming concerned that a life may be in danger. I just cannot tell who's life.
As I move farther through the exit tube I feel something constricting around the junction between my cranial area and the connecting point of my manipulator limbs. I sense that if this condition continues the life fluid that circulates through my body will reduce or cease flowing to my cranial area. It may be that it is my own life that is in danger.
The pressure continues to increase but I have stopped moving again. The constriction below my cranium tightens. I sense greater urgency and activity in the attending lights. I have just noticed that the rhythm of the bump-bump that has comforted me for so long is beginning to falter, becoming irregular, weaker. I now feel tension on my transport limbs as though I am being pulled. Maybe they are trying to speed up the process of my exit. As I get closer to the end I notice that the familiar bump-bump has stopped. I am greatly alarmed.
In a very short period the pink light that has illuminated my small world has gone out. Darkness is in that place now. My heart starts to race with fear. My awareness starts spinning, dimming, my own light is starting to fade, sounds are diminishing. Am I ending even before I have a chance to begin? How unfair is this? Why has Creator done this to me? I try to reason on this but I am unable to think clearly. My thoughts slow... my awareness... dims... finally-blackness.
My awareness has returned but I am in a different place, all white and bright and beautiful. Then I realize that I have returned to the place of all beginnings. I see the form of my pink light rushing toward me, it embraces me warmly. She says it is good to see me but I cannot stay here, it is not my time. I tell her it is so beautiful that I do not want to leave, I want to stay with her. She says, no, you have to go back before it is too late. I tell her that she has to come back with me. She tells me, no, her time there is done and that her body was damaged too much to support life. She embraces me once more and hands me over to my Guardian Angel who takes me back to where I was. As the Angel places me back in my body, it tells me that it is my destiny to finish out my life on earth and to complete this portion of my learning. Then my awareness fades and all is black again.

LIGHT! Terribly bright Light! It pains my visual organs. Over my own screams of agony I hear the other lights cheering and clapping and there is much excitement among them. One says I cannot believe she's alive. It's a miracle. Another says I thought she was gone for good. I must assume from these comments that I should not be alive now. I guess it's a good thing my Angel got me back so quick. After a while the pain subsides and I am able to relax a bit.
As I lay there pondering my situation, a huge realization explodes in the center of my awareness. I am stunned into breathlessness. More questions than can be answered in ten lifetimes burst forth. SHE? They said SHE! Oh. My. God. I came back as a girl!
What are they trying to pull on me up There? I do not know the first thing about being a girl. I know all about being a boy, my last time here I was a boy, But a girl? A great despair envelopes me like a shroud of death, after all it might as well be my death. I was there just a short time ago, if I had known what was to be, I would have just refused to come back. My visual organs start leaking fluid and my sadness lulls me into the darkness and peace of a resting period.

I call out to my father as I enter our shelter structure. I'm in the kitchen is his reply. He asks how my first day was in the learning place. I told him it was good but the Elder Light querried me about something of which I have no knowledge. She asked me how I got my name. I told her I do not know. I asked if he would tell me about it. He said he guessed it was about time I heard the whole story and asked me to sit in the chair next to him.
He informed me that when I was born that my mother had died of a massive brain aneurysm and there was no way to save her. I told him that I remembered that she had went into The Light but I did not know why. He stared at me with his visual organs open to their maximum extent. He asked if I really remembered that or did I hear it from someone else. I told him that on this trip to earth that God had granted me a special gift of memory and that I even remember that on my last trip here I was a boy. He looked as though he could not believe what he was hearing. But then his expression changed and he told me that he believed me. He guessed that I was more special than he originaly thought. I thanked him for his trust but then asked him to continue about my name.
Oh yeah, almost forgot he said. He explained that before I was completely born that I had died, too. Because of being born backwards, my umbilical cord had wrapped too tightly around my neck cutting off the flow of blood to my brain. I explained that I remembered everything going black and then seeing my mother and wanting to stay with her in that Beautiful Place. But she sent me back with an Angel because it was not my time. I asked what she meant by that. He explained, first, that he is a very strong believer in God and His Divine plan for us and the existence of Angels and spirits. He said we come back time after time to get all the learning that we need to become Completed Spirits, at which time we no longer are required to return here and can stay with God and all our friends and family that have gone before us. So this was not your time to stay in The Light, you were sent back to complete your learning for this trip. I told him that I understand now but had to remind him about my name.
He said sorry about getting side tracked but he had to answer my questions properly. When they got you out, he said, they discovered that you had no heart beat. They worked franticly for quite some time trying to revive you. Just when they were about to give up, you screamed. Needless to say we were all overjoyed. The doctor remarked that what saved you was a miracle from God. I knew right then that Miracle was to be your name. I told him that I remember the doctor saying that but I never linked my name to it. He looked at me like he could not believe I remembered that so I reminded of my memory gift. I thanked him for telling me about it then asked if I could go out and play now. He said sure, as soon as I went and put my play clothes on and that supper would be ready in about an hour. I was out of there in a blur. Outside on a sunny day was my most favorite place to be. I especially like to sit among the trees and tell them stories of my life. I know the tree spirits are listening to me and like to hear my stories. Sometimes animals of the forest come and listen, too. I have many friends in Nature. It seems that along with my gift of memory I also have the gift of communication with all of God's creatures.

One day, not long after my eleventh birthday, I sat on the edge of my bed crying. My father heard me and came to check on me. Miracle, what's wrong, sweetie, he asked. I told him I think I have a couple tumors. His eyes got wide and his brows shot skyward. Why do you think that, he asked. Wearing only my bathrobe, I stood up and held it wide open for him to see the two not so small growths on my chest. With a look of relief and a smile he stepped over to me, pulled my robe closed and said let's sit and talk a bit. We sat together on the edge of my bed.
Miracle, you have nothing to worry about, he started, what is happening here is completely normal. All girls about your age go through a hormonal transformation that causes them to develop breasts, those "tumors" of your's, and hair in some other places on your body. Also your voice will change and your body will get a bit more curvy so that you'll look attractive to the boys. BOYS? I yelled, I do not want to mess with any boys! They are too mean. All they do is tease me about these I said pointing to my new breasts. The girls do too because mine are bigger than their's, I added. I have to keep them strapped down so they do not get noticed as much. I am sorry, he said, that you are having a hard time with your change but I assure you that in the very near future you will feel better about it. Please trust me on this. To my knowledge he has never lied to me about anything so I decide to take his word for it but that does not make me feel any better about it. I will just have to wait and let Nature take it's course.

And take it's course it did. Half way through my twelfth year. I sat on the toilet screaming for father at the top of my lungs. I heard his heavy footfalls as he ran full speed toward the bathroom. He must have heard the panic in my voice as I was in near hysterics. I had been holding a large wad of toilet paper between my legs and when he skidded to a halt in front of me, I lifted it up to let him see that it was soaked with blood. In a panicky voice I told him I was bleeding to death. I said I thought he should call an ambulance. He asked if I had hurt myself. No, I said, it just happened all by it's self. Maybe this is a real tumor. Then he did it to me again; he got a look of relief and a smile as he put his gentle hand on my shoulder. This is completely normal, my dear. This the final stage of your growing up. You sit tight, I'm going to call Aunt Jessica to help you with this one, okay? Well, yeah, sure. What choice did I have?
Aunt Jessy lived only a block away so she will be here in the blink of an eye. In the meantime, Dad sat on the edge of the tub and held my hand and explained how this was a normal part of female development and there was really nothing to worry about. I told him that was easy for him to say. He was not the one bleeding to death here.
Soon I heard the click-clack of high heels on the hardwood floors and judging from the rhythm it was Aunt Jess. Within seconds a tall blond haired beauty rounded the door jamb carrying a plastic bag with a box of something in it. Dad jumped up and went over and gave her a hug and a kiss. Jessica, he said, thanks for coming so quickly. No problem, big brother, she said with a big toothy, million dollar smile. What's family for, anyway? Is everything going to be okay, he asked. It'll be great Michael, you just run along and do guy things and Miracle and I are going to take care of girl things. Now scat, she told him and sent him out with a swat on the butt and closed the door behind him. Then Aunt Jess turned to me and said, now, where were we, girl?

I am not looking forward to this day at all. Today is Aunt Jessica's funeral. I can hardly believe she is gone at such a young age. She was so vibrant and so full of life, had so much to offer. In the last eight solar cycles she taught me everything I know about being a woman. She taught me how to walk in high heels, how to wear makeup and clothes. She also taught me now not to wear them. She taught me how to use my figure to my advantage and how it can be a disadvantage. She taught me how to get the guy I wanted and how to get rid of the ones i didn't. She was so beautiful! She even got third runnerup in Miss America one year. I am going to miss her so much. She did not lead a promiscuous life nor did she hang with a bad crowd. She lived a very clean, healthy life. One day she just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. She was raped, robbed and stabbed to death in the mall parking lot in broad daylight. No one saw or heard a thing. (Pause) I am... sorry, I do not think I can talk about this any more.

It has been one cycle since Aunt Jessy died and it is not near as painful to think about as it was. I do, however, get sad moments when I think back on it. It was during one of these moments when Dad walked by the study and saw me with tears in my eyes. He stepped in and said, hey, Miracle, you look like you need someone to talk to. Still having trouble with Aunt Jess's passing, he asked. I just nodded. He sat in the chair next to me and held my hand. Finally I said, the whole world has suffered such a loss when she left. Now I have no one to teach me how to be beautiful and how to be a woman. With one hand on my chin, he turned my head to look him square in the eyes. You know that I have never lied to you, he said, and I am not going to lie now when I tell you that you are the most beautiful young lady I have ever seen. You are every bit as beautiful as Jess was. In fact you look so much like her you could be taken for her younger sister. And to top it all off, both of you are the spitting image of your mother. Your mother and her sister Jess were sometimes mistaken for twins. Aunt Jessy taught you well and you learned well so you have nothing to worry about in the beauty or the being woman department. Okay? I was stunned to hear all that but I know that he told me the truth. Thanks, Dad, you always were good with words. I feel much better now. Okay, so how about we go get us a pizza, he asked. Race ya, I yelled over my shoulder as I flew out the door.
Maxie's Pizza and Family Dining had been a favorite of ours for many years. And Maxie had been a close friend of the family, although I always called her Aunt Maxie, for as long as I can remember. She started out with a small baked goods shop until she bought out the local pizza shop. When the owner of the restaurant next door went bankrupt she bought it and kept the original staff to run the place while she tended the pizza parlor. In the end everyone won on that deal. Needless to say, Maxie is a very smart business woman.
It was quite busy when we went that day but when Maxie spotted us, she rushed over to wait on us herself. Hi Michael, Miracle. She gave us each a hug and a kiss. Good to see you guys again. Miracle, you have grown into such a beautiful, young woman, your Father must be real proud of you. Dad was grinning from ear to ear in agreement. What can I get for you folks? Dad placed our order and before departing for the kitchen Maxie said, please be patient today as we're running a little behind. One of my girls quit on me yesterday so now we're short staffed. No problem, Maxie, Dad and I are just going to chat a bit while you work on it.
Our chat was about nothing in particular, everything in general. We said hi to a few friends that happened by. Finally the pizza arrived and we dove in like we had not eaten in a week. After Hoovering in the first two pieces my wonderful father started to converse again. I wish he had not, at least, not on this topic. Not now. So, have you set your sights on some handsome guy yet? He asked. Dad! I have not even figured out what I want to do with the rest of my life yet let alone thinking about making babies. With a fake look of surprise he countered with, Who said anything about babies? Nice try, Dad, but I know how much you would like to have a troupe of grandchildren running around your house. May be some day but not right now. Well, he said, can't blame a guy for wishing, can you? I gave him my best smile, reached over and kissed him on the cheek then dove into my third piece of pizza.
Speaking of the rest of your life, Miracle, do you have any ideas yet about what you want to do? If not, I think I have a good idea for you. Being not too sure if I should bite on this one, I just glanced at him with one cocked eyebrow. I waited. Well? Are you going to tell me or is this going to be twenty questions? Oh, okay, he said around a mouthful of pizza, swallowed quickly then began. I know that you have many friends in the animal kingdom and that you can communicate with them. You also like caring for them when they're ill. Why not become a veterinarian? With your communication skills they will be able to tell you exactly where they hurt. Maybe you will even be able to feel where they hurt. Then you will be able to give them the best care possible and they will feel safe in your capable hands. So, what do you think? My mouth must have been hanging on the floor, I was so amazed that I had never thought of that myself. Daddy! That is a wonderful idea! With my love for all the animals I would be in seventh heaven. I will have to get started right away looking for an affordable veterinarian college and a job somewhere to pay for it. I think I can help with that, he said. I can get your first year's tuition started and you can pay me back as your able. Oh, Daddy, thank you so very much. You are absolutely the greatest father ever.
With that, I jumped up, put my arms around his neck and gave him three big smackers right square on his lips. The only problem now is finding a job I can get into with no skills to back me up. Problem solved Aunt Maxie called as she approached our table. What do you mean, I asked as I turned to face her. Well, I think you would be perfect to help me out around here and if you and your dad don't mind, I can put you to work as soon as you're finished eating. Again my jaw hit the floor. Jumped up again and hugged and kissed Aunt Maxie this time. I told her I was too excited to eat any more and that Dad would take the rest home with him. Okay, kiddo, lets get you started. We'll take care of the paper work tomorrow when you come in.

It seems almost like no time at all but the last six years have come and gone so quickly. I completed my four years of college and now I am half way through Veterinary Medical School. For the four years that I was in college I worked for Aunt Maxie. Shortly after starting vet school I was presented with an opportunity to work as a veterinary assistant with a local vet, Dr. Mason. Needless to say, I was overjoyed. I finally get to start working with real animals. When Dr. Mason found out about my ability to hear the animals, he was overjoyed. He was dubious at first but as I proved myself he got more comfortable with it, the animals started getting better care and people came from far and wide for his services. There is absolutely no doubt, here, I love what I do.

Today is a landmark day for me. One year after getting my veterinary medical license, Dr. Mason has made me a full partner in his business. He told me that he is very impressed with my ability to work with the animals and that when he retires, which may not be too long from now due to failing health, he is going to deed the entire thing over to me. I will own it lock, stock and barrel. He suggested that I rename it Miracle's Miracles because of the way some of the patients seem to get well by themselves after I have examined them. He feels that I have a "Miraculous" touch, that I can heal some problems simply by the laying on of hands. And this does seem to be true.
Something else wonderful hes happened here, too. Dr. Mason has taken on a new x-ray technician by the name of Sean. Turns out to be that he is Dr. Mason's oldest son. He is SO handsome. It just takes my breath away to look at him and he has the most wonderful personality. And talk about smart. This guy is a walking encyclopedia. It has taken me about two weeks to get to be able to breathe easily around him but now we are getting along very well, if you know what I mean.
At the clinic, we are strictly business, but outside we are inseparable. We have been together now almost two years and last week when we were visiting with Dad, Sean asked him for my hand in marriage. What a gallant gentleman. Well, what do you think, Dad and I both said yes at the same time. If Dad had smiled any wider his face would have ripped right in half. We were all very happy right then.
A year later we were married in a smallish ceremony in the city park presided over by the Mayor. Eight months after that we presented Dad with the news that he was going to be a Grandfather. Almost ripped his face in half again, so proud was he. Do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet, he asked. The doctor does, I replied, but we told him not to reveal it to us. We want it to be a surprise. Although we are hoping that it will be a boy. Sean said that he wanted me to name the first child, so I told him that I wanted to honor both my father and the baby's father. I have picked the name of Michael Sean and he said he liked it. What do you think, Dad? Hmmm, let's see, Michael Sean Mason, it has nice ring to it. I'm cool with it. What if it's a girl? I told him that Sean wanted to honor my mother and his so he picked Sarah Leigh. Great, Dad said, a wonderful honor for your mother who gave so much to bring you into this world.
Suddenly my heart nearly stopped and my blood ran cold as it drained from my face. Instantly Dad was alarmed as my eyes turned glassy. Miracle, what is it, sweetie, what's wrong? I started getting very dizzy and they both grabbed me to keep me from falling off the chair. Dad, whats wrong with her? I don't know, Sean. Miracle, can you hear me? I gave a feeble nod. I will be okay in a minute. Finally, the fog in my brain started to clear. Dad, I cried, what if what happened to Mom happens to me? I am so scared now. I do not want to die like that. Honey, there is no reason to believe that it will happen to you too. Brain aneurysms are not an every day occurrence. Thousands of women give birth every day with no serious complications. What happened to your Mom was a very rare situation.
We talked about it a little while longer and in the end, my father's words made me feel better. He was always so good at that. However, about two weeks before the baby was due, the fear came back and this time I could not shake it. It even affected my ability to read the animals so I had to let Dr. Mason run the clinic by himself. By the time I went into labor I was a nervous wreck. I kept praying, God, please do not let me die. I have a baby to take care of. I was constantly in tears. Then comes Dad to the rescue. Yet again. Miracle, you have to get a hold of yourself . This won't do you or the baby any good. I know, I sobbed, but I am just so scared. I do not want to go the way Mom did. I do not want to miss out on my baby. I'm sure that you and the baby will be fine so just settle down a bit and listen to me.
Life is all about energy, good or bad, according to what we think, do or say. Our spirit, or soul, is a form of pure energy. It is our life energy, an extension, so to speak, of God Himself. When we are scared of something we generate a negative energy and this radiates to all those around us, making not only ourselves uncomfortable but others too. If you stay in a state of negative energy, your baby will feel it and it could possibly affect its health. He may even become afraid of the birthing process and of being outside the womb. So if you want the best for the baby, you must adopt a positive mental attitude and maintain it through your life. Do you understand what I have told you? I told him I understood now and that I would do my best to turn my thoughts around.
Oh my God, the pain. No one ever told me that childbirth would be so painful. How do other women survive with their sanity after pain like this. I was thinking that I would almost rather die than go through this. Then I remembered Mom and decided that I was not going to let something like this get me down. I have to be here for my baby. I can do this, I kept telling myself, I can do this. A few minutes later, a screaming Michael Sean Mason lay in my arms flailing for all he was worth with father and grandfather beside us beaming like two beacons in the night. So happy was I with these two men and a baby in my life.

The happiness, it seems, was short lived. Six months into nursing Little Mikey, as we called him, I noticed an unusual tenderness in my breasts. It just steadily got worse to the point where I had to quit nursing and switch to the bottle. After a thorough exam by our family doctor, I was diagnosed with malignant breast cancer. I was totally devastated. I tried all my life to take good care of my body with proper nutrition and plenty of exercise. Then I am hit with this. At least I have the consolation that cancer is not a contagious disease and that I cannot pass it on to Little Mikey. They have not given me a time frame but I feel it is not too long from now. I have given up the clinic to spend the rest of my time with my son. I am going to make sure that he has some good memories of his mother to tell to his friends and family.
My God, why hast Thou forsaken me? What could I have possibly done to deserve all this? Three days ago, I woke up to find Mikey not breathing. We rushed him to the hospital where he was later diagnosed with SIDS. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. For no apparent reason he just died in his sleep. My dying would not have been so bad but he never had a chance to really live. I feel I no longer have a reason to continue living. Now with cancer raging through my body, I will not have long to wait to join my mother and son.
Today I would normaly consider a beautiful summer day but in my depressed state I barely notice. I spend most of my time crying uncontrollably over the loss of my son. Dad and Sean are off playing golf. Even if they were here I would still feel alone, feeling abandoned by God. Without God there is no purpose to life.
The last living things that had any meaning to me are now gone, taken from me without any concern as to my feelings. While returning from a golf outing, Dad and Sean were both killed instantly when a semi with a drunk driver crossed the center line and struck them head on. Only splinters and fragments were left of them and the car. Two days later I died in my sleep but no one was sure if it was the cancer or a broken heart. Well, I was there, it was not the cancer. At least the family is all together again and for that, I am most happy.

Not The End

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