Prologue

Redemption - Prologue
    I never thought it would come to this.  I never fathomed the thought of pressing cold steel to my temple.  I never thought I could bring myself to stand and let myself fall, fully and completely, towards the ground and never touch.  To swing in limbo between what must be done and what I want to be done was unthinkable by me in the past, but now seems a reality in process.
    But how did I get up here?  I guess perhaps it may have started with the insertion of a bullet, but that is the mode to my demise; not the cause.  I started at the bottom; I know that is fact, but here, at the top, how I can let myself change my complete way of thinking eludes me.  All those countless people… Was it all for the right purpose?  The families must be devastated; but if they had known the reasoning behind it all, or were in this man’s shoes, maybe they would see the good in the act. 
    No.  Nothing is worth havoc on a scale such as that.  How could I even argue with myself on what needs to be done.  I knew it was wrong as soon as I walked through that door; I should have run.  A bead of sweat rolled down my temple and down to my chin.  I wondered how I could have let myself be a means to Satan’s destruction and corruption of humanity.  I’ve come all this way and can end it all with one squeeze of the trigger and I am debating on whether to redeem myself for my wrongs or let it be.
    I say out loud, “redemption,” and pull the trigger.