Reality

As I lie here half asleep in the darkness

contemplating rising,

only half of me wishes to accomodate

my semi-conscious state.



Yet I rise, dropping bare feet into slippers,

before they can touch the cold floor,

and push me into harsh reality,

long before the day dictates I must.



Before the sun rises, before the warm tea

has any effect upon me,

my thought patterns emerge

and for the hundredth time they ask:





who turned the sunlight off?

Who took all the colors from the rainbow,

leaving everything so gray?

Who stole my hopes and dreams

out of my heart and head away?



who, please tell me, took my passion for love, my zest for life?

Then the answer to all my cerebral torture comes

and says very simply, you did.



You did, when you decided not to

participate in my life.

You did, when you took my heart & in

it's place left a gaping, bleeding hole.



Because with you went my skies of blue,

& sunny, happy days.

Even now in this lackluster haze,

I recognize you were my strength,

my courage, my heart.



For only with you was I totally alive.



But, now it seems I've died.

Or, is it simply I have wanted to,

for lack of you?



If only someone could tell me now,

how do I separate you from the very fibers

of my heart, my soul, my being?

So, I can once more breath again, live

again, laugh again?



Please, does anyone know?