Dysfunctional Families

Entry for Songs, Movies, and More, Oh My!
Use 20 comedy movie titles in a story of 750 words or less

We finally left work, just Me, Myself and Irene. I was tired of all the City Slickers. I longed for my quiet, country home. But, before long, we were stuck in the Rush Hour traffic, barely inching along.

“Did you hear what Billy Madison told me?” Irene turned down the radio. Not waiting for an answer, she blurted out, “You know Mary? The Employee of the Month? She’s Knocked Up… by The Cable Guy!”

It didn’t surprise me. Nothing did anymore. “I knew there was Something About Mary,” I muttered, looking out the window at the traffic creeping along next to us. My dreams of a quick trip home were going Up In Smoke. My cell rang.

“Great,” I huffed as I checked the number. “it’s My Cousin Vinny.” Last time I saw him he was on his way to prison. The idiot didn’t realize shrinking heads was illegal, although we had told him a million times. The FBI caught him with Eight Heads in a Duffle Bag in his college dorm after finding his I.D. near a Dead Man on Campus. I thought it strange, not that he finally got caught, but that he only had eight of them. He was fond of telling all of the family that they were Cheaper by the Dozen. He paid too much otherwise, he said, but sometimes they were worth it – whatever that meant. We didn't think he was serious about the heads until then. He was always Half Baked and hanging out with those Grumpy Old Men down on 83rd St.

I didn’t answer the call.

“You’re family’s so weird!” Irene shook her head.

“Look Who’s Talking! I shot back. “Your Son-in-Law is worse than Vinny any day!”

“What About Bob?” She shrugged her shoulders as if to say he was fine.

“Remember when you went over to his house to find him in that giant Bird Cage yelling, ‘Dude, Where’s My Car’?” I laughed as I thought about it.

“Well,” Irene retorted, “let’s talk about your Uncle Buck! What about the time he had to be forcibly removed from that Airplane, Kicking and Screaming because he was sure the Lady Bugs were attacking him and trying to hijack the plane.”

I knew she had me beat. “Just drive!” I snapped my cell phone shut and threw it in my purse. She was being a Major Payne!

Word Count: 400
Movies: 25