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Rated: 13+ · Short Story · Travel · #1559876
Travel Tips
      "Dangerous curve" Muzzy spots the sign, coming off the highway in Galway.
  A 90 degree right angle turn comes up at him as he pulls the wheel hard to the
  right. Muzzy's car fish tails onto a narrow two way road. A tractor pulling hay
  forces him to turn hard left over into a field. "Well, I guess I should stretch my
  legs." he mutters and steps out to behold the rolling emeral mountains.
      He climbs a rocky upcrop of slate. It appears to be a cliff. Nervously, he
  shimmies on his belly to the edge. The rock is four feet above the field, which
  drops down to a gully. "Hmf?" Muzzy can see people having picnics. He returns
  to his Honda in pusuite of a restaurant. The Bull Tavern appears. He swaggers
  up to the bar, "Can I have a Pepsi?" Heads turn in bemusement. "Oh, could I
  have a cheeseburger and fries?" he adds with his index finger up on his right hand.
  The bar tender smiles and points to the tables behind Muzzy.
      Muzzy takes his Pepsi and waits for his burger and fries. The waitress is cute.
  His burger is huge and the fries are big potatoe slices. "Say! Waitress!" he beckons.
  She smiles and leans forward, revealing abundant clevage; "Do you have ketchup?"
  She returns with ketchup and asks him if there is anything else he needs.
  "Nope. Thanks!" he gobbles his dinner as he studies his map.
      Shneem is next. First down the ring of Kerry. A very curvatious lady takes
  Muzzy's suitcase. "I can do that." he studders. "Now this is my job. Do you want to
  take my job?" she replies with a smile. He knods and asks if she knows where
  a Mr. Paddy Burns lives. After some wrong turns Muzzy finds Paddy's cattle ranch.
  He is blocked by a bull mounting a cow. Paddy whistles to Muzzy and points to
  tire tracks leading to the rear of a barn. The Honda is parked in the barn.
  "Would you like a beer?" Paddy inquires. "I've got a Pepsi." Muzzy smiles.
  Paddy gives Muzzy some sugar cookies.
      "I'm going to sell the ranch. Would you like to buy it?" Paddy is eating sugar
  cookies while talking to him. There is a soccer game on the television as they
  sit on straight backed french chairs. "I just wanted to visit my grampas' home."
  Muzzy takes another sugar cookie. "Have you been to Cromwell?" Paddy smiles.
  Muzzy shakes his head no. He doesn't like to talk with his mouth full.
        Cromwell is a bar outside Shneem. Paddy put on a tie and his tweed jacket.
  Muzzy was in jeans and plaid shirt with a Polo jacket. "Now. You'll have a drink
  with our mum." Paddy laughed. The bartender gave Muzzy a glass of Guinesis.
  Muzzy looked up as the men at the bar raised their glasses to a portrait of
  Queen Elizabeth. "To our mum!" they all saluted and drank down. Paddy and his
  friends had all served in the Republican Army, during the final uprising that
  divided Northern Ireland from Southern Ireland. "Isn't the English Royalty opposed
  to the Republic of Ireland?" Muzzy asked Paddy. "She made us, who we are. You
  should never forget who your mother is." Paddy smiled. The other men laughed
  and drank some more. Muzzy didn't like the taste of Guinesis, but he sipped
  it out of respect for the old patriots.

 
  Sinn Fein+
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