Love

The car sped faster and faster down the abandoned highway. The dotted lines were becoming one big blur. Sam did not know if it was his velocity or the tears in his eyes that blurred these lines.
“I love her, I really do. How could she do this to me?” He pushed the gas pedal to the floor and the car accelerated dangerously around a curve.

She sat alone in her small room staring at her wedding dress. Tomorrow she would walk down that long aisle and commit the rest of her life to the man she loved. This was supposed to be the happiest time of her life.
“Then why am I so sad?” she sighed, depressed. “He is a great guy. I love him, I really do!” The latter was let out with a small sob.

He could barely see now, the tears almost completely obscuring his vision.
“Why did she do it?” he asked himself repeatedly. “Wasn’t I good enough to her, good enough for her?”
The tears flowed freely now soaking the dress shirt of his tux.

“Rachel! Do you need help getting everything ready for your big day tomorrow?” emitted her mother’s bubbly voice from the hall way.
Rachel just wanted to scream “NO, GO AWAY,” but she knew that would not do any good. Her mother meant well. She only wanted to help and share in her only daughter’s “joy”.
Quickly wiping away a few tears, Rachel said in a small voice, “Come in.”

The car screeched to a halt alongside the road. Before him, he could make out a bridge in the darkness. At first, Sam only had a vague idea of his location, but soon realized that he was at the Miller River; it was rapid and icy this time of year.

“Oh, you are going to look so beautiful tomorrow, my dear.” Rachel’s mother said as she held up the wedding dress.
She pranced around the room checking things here and moving other things there, completely undoing what she had done an hour ago. Rachel let her, knowing she only wanted to help. She sat on her bed and watched her mother and suddenly, with no warning, she burst into a flood of tears.

Sam got out of his car, leaving the engine running and the lights on. He was so lost in his thoughts that he did not even bother shutting the door. The annoying ping the car made as a warning was lost on deaf ears. He walked slowly towards the bridge, his thoughts his only company. They burned through his mind as if etched there for all eternity.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” her mother said as she placed a gentle arm around her weeping daughter’s shoulder. Rachel could not answer right away, the tears choking off her voice.
Finally, when she was able to speak between sobs, she blurted out, “I don’t want to get married tomorrow!”

He ran his hand along the icy guardrail, cold biting his bare flesh. He only slightly felt the pain. The same unanswered question that he had been asking himself for the last twelve hours ravaged his mind.
“WHY?”
He thought that they had been so perfect together. The relationship had been flawless; they had never even fought. But now it was over and he did not even know why.

A small smile came to her mother’s lips.
“Oh dear, you just have a case of cold feet,” she said softly. Her arm tightened as she tried to comfort her daughter.
Rachel shook her head vigorously and sputtered through tears, “I don’t even know if I love him!”

“I loved her with all my heart,” Sam wept gently. “I gave her all that I could and more.”

“How can you say that, dear? He is a wonderful man and he loves you dearly. He has given you all you could ask for.”

“I talked to her, listened to her, and tried to understand.”

“He will make a great husband. All you will ever need, he already bought you that big house on the West Side.”

“I was always there with a shoulder for her to cry on. All I wanted was for her to be happy.”

“He takes you to all those fancy parties and buys you all those lovely dresses.”

“I hugged her, kissed her, held her tight, cuddled with her on those cold nights, and always told her I loved her.”

“He even paid for the entire wedding, inviting all those rich friends of his, all for you!”

“But maybe it is what I could never afford. I am not a rich man.”

“But mother, what about love? How do I know he loves me?”

“She wanted that big wedding badly, but we had no way to afford it.”

“I have to beg him to cuddle or hold me. He never even says ‘I love you’.”

That is the stuff that she deserves, though, and I will never be able to give it to her.” With this, Sam climbed onto the icy railing.

“Oh, dear, you don’t have to do all that stuff to show love,” Rachel’s mother chimed in a condescending voice. “He proves his love in other ways.”
Rachel wiped the tears away from her eyes and nodded gently in understanding, but she still felt troubled. At that moment the phone began to ring.

“I loved her, I still love her, but what is life worth without her?”

“Oh, that will be him now,” said Rachel’s mother. “He probably wants to say he loves you.”
Rachel reached down and picked up the receiver. Her mother smiled from ear to ear and slowly left the room. Mustering all her strength and trying not to sound as if she had been crying she said in a small voice, “Hello?”

Sam lifted his arms in the air like wings and closed his eyes. The cold winter wind bit at his exposed skin of his face and hands, but he no longer felt pain. He raised his left leg and leaned forward.

“Hi, Hon! How ya doin’,” came her fiancé’s voice over the phone. “I just wanted to make sure you were ok.” Suddenly Rachel’s heart felt a little lighter.
“I can’t wait for tomorrow,” Her fiancé continued. “It is going to be so big. Did I tell you, the president of the company is coming? If all goes well I could get that huge promotion we have been wanting. So be on your best behavior.” And then the weight returned to her heart.
“Oh that’s good news dear,” she said trying to hide the fear in her voice.
“Well, I have to go. I just wanted to tell you the good news.”
“Ok, I love you,” she said with all the love and hope she could possibly gather.
“Uh-huh, same here. See ya tomorrow.” With these words Rachel heard the click of his phone hanging up.

Sam’s forward lean allowed gravity to pull his body towards the frigid and rapid waters. He saw them coming towards him at an alarming rate, but he no longer feared death, he welcomed it. With his last breath, before he hit his icy grave, he softly spoke,
“I love you, Heather.”

Rachel put down the phone and her lips parted in a barley audible sentence, “See ya tomorrow Frank.” And as the telephone touched its cradle, her heart was filled with an overwhelming sense of despair that knew no source. A hopelessness that she knew would never leave, engulfed her. She cried no tears for there would never be enough to cry.