Tensions pulling, nerves breaking, the cycle of my existence. |
Made entirely of opposites, a tension pulling both left and right sides nerves snapping, fibres breaking, not a cell within agrees entirely and don't work as a team. A man divided cannot stand, but I am not a man, or has my mind forgotten that? The adversity of will; conscience fight minds, mind fights heart, heart fights apathy: that is, shutting down, freezing up. Yet still, emotion speaks quietly; happiness (however rare) whispers and sadness seeps in slowly, never hits me without warning. While slowly I grow grave, well up, think the swelling wave will burst, but continues higher, (and higher, and higher) and then! And then instead of overflowing, tears spilling, emotion showing pouring out all of my thoughts and troubles on to some sympathetic soul, instead! Instead: I shut down. Run right out of batteries, burn out, lie on the kitchen floor, no tears, no words, no sighs, just simple, quiet somber unhappiness. But then, of course, back of my mind, as opposition is so easy to find, there is a voice, persisting, speaking words of dark but powerful existance, telling me to wake up, get up, shape up, grow up act the part, restart, stop complaining, get back on the clock and as my mind wrestles I obey. And though there's dying batteries, upholding gravity, pulling me to the ground, I disagree and this time hold my palm to the seperate argument and pledge to withstand. In times of triumph and defeat still all emotion's bittersweet with such a debate in constant action bursting through subconcious making me very aware, yet though a pitfall still a vice, a crutch, unhealthy but what keeps me standing up. |