Why Do You Illume My Thoughts

Why do you illume my thoughts-
my every move- more or less
I think about you.
I don't even love you.
I never will.
So why do you haunt me in my dreams?
You illume mt thoughts still.
I want to scream
I'm busting at the seams
My heart sank when you dropped a hint,
it was as if I was saying goodbye to my dear good friend.
-
It wasn't 'til your message was sent-
that little hint-
'twas when you illumed my mind,
my peace and rhythm of time.
And abruptly did it end.
Our chat, that is.
My days changed-
to a key that did not rhyme.
My mind a puzzle, my brain,
twisted cords.
Why does it feel like I'm being cut
by swords?
My words, if any, come out,
in a muffled sound.
Why do you illume my thoughts,
my mind?
The explanation I cannot find.