Everyone is facing it

Word count 839


Dear Unemployment Office:

Appeal form 2010-0501-43857

I was recently advised that when someone gets fired from their job they have the right to request unemployment compensation, if it is warranted. In my case I believe it is.

I was happily employed up in Detroit until 4 years ago. My job was to keep the street clear, a job I enjoyed. I received many kudos for my efforts. Just look at Detroit today. My efforts continue to impact citizens there, even 4 years later. I was paid well and in a timely fashion, and was quite happy in my job. I was employed there for over 5 years. I am told that too is important.

I was approached by the Landholme Botanical Gardens to come work for them. They thought my presence would generate much business. I was to be seen here and there, a flicker of a face or flashing of my great teeth for the adults. Maybe a paw or a side view of my profile for the children, must not scare them, I was told. For groups, maybe the sight of me running in the far distance, the sun gleaming on my golden red scales. I agreed and Mr. Whitmore saw to my transport down to Missouri.

The glimpses of me were indeed enough to increase attendance and revenue for the Gardens that year, and that winter they approached my brother Sebastian to work in the water garden portion. Being a water dragon, he fit in totally; glimpses of him drove revenues through the roof. But I digress.

Between the two of us, we quadrupled attendance and interest in the Gardens. I am told donations increased as well. Thousands sought to glimpse the now fabled dragons of Landholme. We were very clever never to be caught for cameras, only a paw, a whisker or scaly part of a back or tail.

I’m told product sales further increased their revenue and that the Gardens had a substantial cushion of funds at the end of three years.

All of this would have been fine, was fine in fact,until the expansion of the Garden. My wages, 4 goats or sheep a week kept me fit and healthy but having the same thing each week palls after 3 years. In the fourth year, the Gardens planted a full half acre of Peppers. All sorts of them. Now dragons, well fire dragons ,,,, are fond of peppers. I would, at times filch one or two... They made my scales shine brighter and the stringier victuals taste better. This helped as some of the tough ones take a long time to chew up.

In my wanderings I was further delighted to find a tiny hidden plot of peppers the like of which I have never encountered before. This was located in the farthest reaches of the gardens, perhaps a test planting. I took a careful selection and had stored them until, on the occasion of a particularly stringy tough goat. Even my teeth couldn't chew this one into edibility. I saw fit to coat it liberally, and let the peppers tenderize it for me.  I must say it totally rectified the stringy problem... However, in some inexplicable way those peppers set off the fire part of the fire dragon in me.

Huge belches and coruscations of flame erupted from my person. I ran to get outside of the greenhouse that I had been given to live in, but unfortunately it burned to the ground even as I exited. I headed towards the back of the gardens,,, mindful, even in my distress, of keeping my promise to keep out of sight of guests. Unfortunately the fire, still emanating from my nostrils and throat coated and destroyed quite a few vehicles. I truly regret the loss of the Orchards and English gardens too. I finally did make my way to the back of the gardens and slacked my thirst in the pond back there. The one Sebastian was particularly fond of. I am also sorry about the fish though...

The next day Mr Whitmore came and dismissed me. I can understand his ire; however, over the three plus years I worked there I was an exemplary employee and never missed a single day’s work. Mr. Whitmore said I would have to find my own way, and sent me packing. Without even a letter of reference. Now I have nowhere to go and am getting very hungry. Sebastian explained to me about unemployment and I asked Mr. Whitmore for it. He laughed and said to take it up with you, maybe you would provide me with wages while I look for another position.

So I am asking for two maybe three goats or sheep while I am looking for another position. I understand unemployment pays at a reduced rate, so I am not asking for my normal 4. Can you please make them as unstringy as possible? I no longer have access to peppers. I can come by and pick them up, are Mondays okay?

Andrien Chu