Winning the Battle

I never knew what she meant when the eight year old girl, on the bed, said as her last words before she passed on. I held her tiny hand in mine and listened, the words came out so softly, almost like a whisper.

" I won my battle, a world with no pain, no cancer, and no suffering is going to be my prize. Now you must live on and win your battle, not die but in the time you have left you must fill your life with fufillment and at the end you won your prize."

Then without any warning, or any the soft grip on my hand loosened and turned as cold as ice. My little cousin, never could live but won her battle, died of leukemia.


Two Years Later.....

on that day two years ago i swore i would never die of cancer, and i would live on for my cousin. The little girl died so young, i cry every once and a while. But that isn't want really happened, a year after she died i got sudden case of cramps, it felt like my body was going to welt up and explode with intensity of a thousand suns. I was rushed the E.R and was later diganosed with cancer. I was immediantly administrated into the ICU, They did many tests, and some of them hurt. But the worst of it all was when they told me i had to stay to be taken under onservation. I was crushed. They also told me the cancer was in the my lungs. From smoking I guess. If they spread to my liver, or heart i was basically screwed. Why did i have cancer at 16? Why did God take away my cousin? I wish I had answers. but i kept wondering "Why would god take the people i cared about so much away? Was he mad at me? Is it for smoking?"

2 Months Later...

I strugged with my cancer, still. My friends and family strugged to make me feel like i was alright, and my hair was still on my head. I knew my time was almost up. I knew things were not the same. I was dying fast, the cancer had inded spread. Fast too, to my liver and some of my major vains, i couldnt feel half of my body most of the time. The pictures I had were of me and my friends, healthy and happy. I cry everytime i look at them, i want to be her again. No one had a cure for my cancer, we asked about organ, tissue, and bone narrow to consider a transplant. They said they couldnt risk it. The news crushed me.

A Couple Weeks Later....

I finally won my battle. Family, friends, nurses and doctosrs who all had hope cam in so my family made the decision to pull the plug. Nothing was working, so they wanted to end my suffering. I was awake for everything, my eyes were wide open but i couldnt see out of them; my ear heard the heart rate moniter lowlt die. My mother lunged for my hand. My dad whispered in my ear before everything went blank " Your free..." and he was right, i won my body and my battle was free. I thank my eight year old cousin for that lesson.